Washington D.C – Senator Mary Landrieu (D – LA) was the proud sponsor of a recently passed non-binding resolution apologizing to victims of lynchings for not passing Federal anti-lynching legislation.
“It’s the least we could do,” said Sen. Landrieu, “these dead people need to hear that it’s the Senate’s fault – in a non-binding way, of course – that they’re dead. I mean, if killing someone would’ve broken two laws instead of just one, none of this ever would’ve happened.”
“She sho’nuff got dat right,” said James Cameron, an African-American who survived an attempted lynching in 1930. “Dey was gonna hang me between two other colored boys, but den I says to ’em, “Y’all don’ wants to be lychin’ me! Dem Senators up in Washington, I hear tell dey done passed dem a anti-lynchin’ bill! Y’all be breakin’ TWO laws if’n ya hangs me!””
Terrified at the prospect, Cameron’s attackers let him go.
“Dey was all scared and wettin’ dey pants!” chuckled Cameron. “Dey din’t knows dat I just be lyin’ to ’em to gets ’em to let me go.”
“Dumb-ass crackas!”
When asked if the Senate has plans to make future meaningless non-apologies to people for not doing things that wouldn’t have made a damn bit of difference anyway, Sen. Landrieu replied with optimism.
“In the future we hope to apologize to Senator Robert Byrd for not passing a law to keep him from getting senile.” said Landrieu.
Currently there has been no word on whether the Senate intends to apologize to Michael Moore for letting Twinkies make him fat.
Well, it wouldn’t hurt if they put the picture right-side up, especially since they’re identifying people by left – right in the picture.
DOH!
To heck w/ apologizing to Mickey Moore for eating twinkies. I think those twinkies deserve an apology. Poor Twinkies. . .
Great minds think alike, Harvey.
Hey, I’ve even got Mr. No-name’s Michael Moore reference covered this morning.
I notice towards the end of the article they mention Southern conservatives using filibusters, instead of mentioning they were Southern Democrats.
If these cases involved Southern Republicans, I think ABC, and others in the MSM, would mention that every time.
I think Robery Byrd should sponser a bill to bitch-slap the MSM, abolish PC-ism, and apologize to Republicans for constantly smearing them.
Good one, Harvey! You read my mind … we got Fat “can’t swin” Teddy complaining about wasting time on judge confirmations … obviously he agrees with Marvelous Mary the time could much better be spent passing useless non-binding resolutions which’ll be picked up by the race-baiters as yet ANOTHER reason for reparations.
It’s really too bad that we can’t pay our elected useful idiots, and government workers, in the same manner most of us get paid — pay for performance.
That would mean all the time devoted to this idiocy – making lynchings MORE illegal than they already were — would result in DOCKING their pay.
Oh well, at least this got Michael off the front page for a little while.
There weren’t no southern conservatives back then, it’s a recent term. They were Democrats, the KKK were Democrats, the segregationists were Democrats, the ones who put the confederate flags up were Democrats. Don’t know about the lynch mobs … but lynching was the tool of the segregationists to keep the blacks in their place. The Democrats ran the south, a Republican in elected office was a rarity.
And if you didn’t vote the ‘right way’ the Democrats came by the next day and paid you a little sit down visit, just to get your head around how you should be voting.
Until the MSM starts erasing names in the history books, that’s how it was — I was an unlucky Texan who found himself in Gov Wallace’s(D-LA) south.
Who said the Clinton apology decade was over?
(In what year will the GOP apologize to an adult Elian Gonzalez for not impeaching Clinton or Reno sooner?)
he he…
Crackas!!
This post was in poor taste in my opinion.
Josh – If you’re referring to my use of the “Amos & Andy” lingo for James Cameron, I’ll grant you the point. I could’ve just as easily written it in standard English. I decided to go with the 1930’s stereotypical dialect to make the piece a little more farcical.
If you’re referring to the point of the piece – that the resolution was useless political grandstanding that did NOTHING for actual lynching victims – I’ll have to respectfully disagree. I think the poor taste belongs to the Senators waving around figurative bloody shirts for the sake of a little camera time.
Is poor taste new to this site? If you don’t like it, leave.
Weren’t some of the lynchings on EDUCATED northern blacks who’d come down to the south? Civil rights workers, et cetera?
Harvey,
I don’t see a problem with your language beacuase you’re from the extreme northern US aren’t you? (Wisconson maybe?) You don’t bear the guilt of oppression and racism because you didn’t happen to decend from citizens of a southern state (I’m from Louisiana). I am of course guilty by virtue of the fact that I was born, but we all know that no one in the north was ever a racist.
Well,
I’m offended because
a) the post wasn’t in Esperanto
b) because it didn’t decry bovine slavery as it is used in the production of dairy products,
c) some of the words were big
and further more,
d) no pictures
10ksnooker,
if it’s ‘stand in the schoolyard door’ Gov. Wallace, its (D-AL).
Well, in fact it would have made a difference. During that time, lynching was not against any lawThatWasEnforced in the South. (And enforcement was rather spotty in the North, too.) A federal law would have given federal marshals, federal prosecutors and federal courts jurisdiction to arrest and prosecute lynchers and then imprison them in federal prison.
Great point Cathy…
Your argument hinges on the word “enforced”.
Lynchers should be hanged.
Crimney I ment the Amos and Andy “steppin and fetchin” 30’s dialect. I agree with the post. I would venture that 90% of what comes out of the senate is political grandstanding.
Christ Almighty, people, show a little respect. We can argue about whether or not the Senate’s apology was hollow grandstanding, but don’t make light of lynching and racism themselves. Just because Al Sharpton and other notable black leaders might be douchebags in 2005 doesn’t change the reality that black people faced persecution and terrorism–yes, terrorism–up until not even 40 years ago, and that the government turned a blind eye to it.
Oh, and to the guy above mocking politcal correctness: It wasn’t funny the first three million times it was done, and it’s certainly not funny in this instance. Either learn to be legitimately witty, grow up and discuss the issue as a mature adult would, or shut up and die.
Peace,
Bob
JoshG – line crossing duly noted. I’ll try to reserve “Amos & Andy” dialects for Democrats making fun of Condi Rice or otherwise mocking leftist racism.
And if James Cameron ever reads this, I apologize for the dialect bit.
Oh, and yeah, I’m from Wisconsin. Up here racism is more xenophobia, as opposed to Southern racism, which is more “familiarity breeds contempt”.
Ha ha black people talk different than white people! I certainly have seen the light! I agree with whitey white humor if it’s conservative and funny like this!
By the way, to steel myself against stupid comments, I’m a white Southern liberal. Oooh. And I thought anti-lynching legislation would have been something, at least proof that the Senate wasn’t uncaring. Remember when they rolled those tanks in to enforce integration? Yeah, not like they couldn’t do that for Southern towns too.
Also, you need to consult a dialect coach if you’re going to attempt to type like a black guy. You suck at it. Nice try claiming it was an “Amos n’ Andy” sendup, though. I almost fell for your barely masked racism. And here you accuse Howard Dean of it!
Oasis, Cool name (great band), but, get bent.
10ksnooker, Get real man. The very idea that “every one in the south was a racist except me” line is preposterous.
Oasis, Did I mention…..GET BENT!!!
ClayK
My racism was barely masked?
Odd… I thought it was naked & blatant.
I’ll have to work on that…
And of COURSE I suck at typing like a black guy. I’m from Wisconsin. I don’t even know what black people look like!
Maybe next time you could type the comments in blackface. I’m sure that’d be more effective.
ClayK, your lack of a real argument just proves …well, basically everything I said.
“Maybe next time you could type the comments in blackface.”
LOL! 😀
Seriously, THAT was a funny line.
10ksnooker- your comment about the southern democrats is correct but misleading. Those same democrats abruptly changed party affiliation when the civil rights amendment was enacted. So really they were equivalent to todays republicans in their views.
I personally like the chance-taking nature of the piece, but then again, I like hate mail.
-T
By the way, my favorite comment sinppet is:
“. . .shut up and die.
Peace,
Bob.”
Oasis,
Nice try…but like I said earlier…get bent! You don’t have any valid point to make here, and even if you think that you do, I surely haven’t made it…get over yourself and soon. Ok?