The Reverend Ted Haggard is now officially out of Gay Rehab. Having been accused of doing meth with a gay prostitute, the Reverend is now ready to rejoin the heterosexual community. Said the rev, “If there’s a cure for me, then maybe there’s a cure for all the other gays out there. Not that I was gay or anything.”
Enjoying his first day of freedom, Mr. Haggard said, “I’m just gonna go out and hang out at a bar, and chew on a candy bar and see who I meet.”
If he is offered any meth, the Rev has promised to “throw it away.”
Heh. Good one, Ducky.
Uhh, Ted, that’s NOT a Snickers bar…
I am never eating another Snickers.
He should play it safe and go looking for Mr. Goodbar. You can break those off…
…unlike hot and heavy sessions with some queer crank-head hustler who then threatens to blackmail you.
At least Hershey didn’t advertise their “highway”…
Not sure why all the hub-bub and surprise about Snickers. After all…they have nuts.
As for Mr. Haggard, news is that the tiny little toggle behind his right ear was set to “Gay.” It’s there if you look close. Some people switch it on in order to enjoy American Idle properly.
It was nice knowing Paleo. I wonder if they are going to let sarahk post to the blog after she’s convicted of his savage beating.
I ain’t ascared.