Frank mentioned last week that he was “traveling on business” this week.
Really? He’s a software engineer. They don’t travel. Except to Star Trek conventions. And there’s not one going on right now. I checked.
No, software engineers, when they meet, do so via Web conference. Like with WebEx or something.
Which means that either gFrank isn’t a software engineer, or he’s not “traveling on business.”
I checked. Frank really is a software engineer. I don’t know what that is. It sounds like a made-up job like “community organizer” but without all the commie friends. But the company I work for has some of those, too. Software engineers, I mean. Oh, they got commies, too. The commies have Obama stickers on their cars in the parking lot. Not as many as they used to, but there are some. And they can’t park straight.
Anyway, software engineers they don’t do meetings. I’ve actually invited some to meetings. They don’t respond to the invitation. If they do, they don’t show up anyway. So, it’s a real job. Or, at least, there are really people that have that job title.
But software engineers don’t “travel on business.”
So, why is Frank traveling this week? Where’s he going? What’s he doing? I’m trying to figure that out. And here’s what I’ve come up with:
- He’s heading to Iowa to get the jump on 2016.
- When he moved from Florida, he left the iron on.
- He got the dates mixed up on Con*Stellation (say “hi” to Carol for me).
- Heard the Broncos were playing in Denver tonight.
- Helping Obama write that jobs bill he wanted passed last week.
- Standing in line for “Midnight Sun.”
- He’s on a secret mission for Dick Cheney.
- Traveling for the Smithsonian.
- Personally delivering a nuke to the moon.
This is just speculation. Informed speculation, mind you, but speculation nonetheless.
If you have an idea where Frank is, let us know.
He’s trying to find other Street Pass carriers for his 3DS.
Frank’s not in Iowa. I checked. It’s really easy to find somebody here, because there aren’t too many people. Finding an individual pig would be much harder.
He went to New York, wearing ray bans, a fedora, and a skinny tie,
with a handcuffed briefcase containing this column, http://nyp.st/mXyx27 ,
and a harmonica.
I don’t know where he is, but if anyone spots him in Texas, remind him my flowerbeds need weeding.
“Traveling on Business” is just a euphemism. He and SarahK are off making Buttercup II.
LOL I’ll hunt him down if he’s here. We have a few of those software engineers too. They have face piercings and sit in the dark, they scare me.
Based on a comment to his NYP column, I would guess he is in Boston. Why would any self-respecting conservative go to Boston? I have no idea.
Hawkins said Frank was on his way to Boston. Strange. Why did Frank tell Sarah he was going to Vegas?
Many self-respecting people go to Boston to punch hippies.
He’s probably at the Microsoft builders conference thingy kissing Steve Balmer’s ass!
Maybe he’s developed super powers and is off fighting wrongs and doing good. He could be Blog Man or IMAOman. If Algore doesn’t make his 24 hr telejerk for global warming we’ll know that “Frank” had something to do with it.
I’m afraid to ponder what super powers they might be. That is a toll road I refuse to travel on.
He is meeting with the publishers who want to sign him.
Frank is off getting super secret hand to hand kung fu training from Aquaman.
If it’s training from Aquaman, it’s not “hand to hand,” IFKWIMAITYD.
if Frank showed up in Iowa, someone would have asked him “are you from Idaho”? Only Potatoes and queers from Idaho and I don’t see any buds boy? I’ll bet you are a Peter Puffer? Are you a Peter Puffer? I’ll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!!! Then they shipped him to Iowa City…
*** Breaking News ***
Nashville, TN (AP) – Former Vice President Al Gore was seen conferencing today with what some have speculated is his new campaign manager. In a surprise move to challenge President Barack Obama for the 2012 Democrat nomination. Mr. Gore’s press spokesperson, Emma Hintergesitz, announced Gore was “testing the waters” for a primary run. Many Democrats are not surprised especially in Tennessee where Mr. Gore is responsible for many power outages due to the 4000 Ampere draw of his 28,000 square foot residence. “We’d rather have him bathing in the Cumberland River than at his home” said one resident. “I’m sick and tired of no hot water at my house. My god that man bathes a lot. When you eat like he does, it’s hard to keep your rear end clean.” Others were speculating that Tennessee’s environment would be better off with Gore cleaning himself in the river rather than at home. The fact that the Cumberland is brown apparently is not a factor.
The man seen with Mr. Gore is rumored to be one Frank J. Fleming from Boise, Idaho. Mr. Fleming, it is claimed, writes humorous articles for Internet blogs, commentary sites and newspapers and is engaged in some kind of green computer or electrical engineering in the potato industry in Idaho. Following in the footsteps of Texas Governor Rick Perry, also a former Democrat who was Gore’s 1988 Texas campaign manager, Mr. Fleming commented that it was time to jump in the ring of politics. When asked why Al Gore’s particular ring, Mr. Fleming reportedly smiled and said “Well, Obama isn’t funny anymore. Al Gore is funny but in the wrong way. I’m gonna help him get it right and replace Obama on the ticket. Besides, I love all Americans – even the left-wing nuts.”
It’s not immediately known whether Mr. Gore hired Mr. Fleming on his first visit, or not. They were both seen splashing water on each other in the Cumberland River just outside Nashville.
Well, I checked and there are no Dungeons and Dragons conventions going on, so I have no idea where he’d be going.
Well, found this: “MODERN DOLL Collectors Convention cordially invites you to join us at the Historic Menger Hotel in San Antonio, Texas, September 14th thru 17th”
So, the mystery of where Frank is traveling to may be solved.
If he’s really in Iowa he can stop by and mow my lawn. It really needs it.
Um, he’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Frank pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.
He’s going to find Waldo, once and for all.