*walks into a bar covered in bruises*
You should see the other guys!
“That the one with Will Ferrell?”
Yup. Great movie.
— Cool Pillow (@GoodNaps) March 4, 2014
Just read on somebody's Twitter bio: "Endorsed on LinkedIn." Which is the same as saying "Rejected in Reality."
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) March 4, 2014
Man Becomes Better, More Thoughtful Person After Being Screamed At Online
— Ann Boobus (@a_girl_irl) March 4, 2014
"I only want to appear in movies from now on that are murky, horribly lit pieces of garbage. Really awful"- John Cusack, a few years ago
— Michael Kupperman (@MKupperman) March 5, 2014