I’ve been wondering why my liberal friends aren’t outraged by what ISIS is doing in Iran and Syria. My talk about beheadings and totalitarian leanings don’t seem to sway them at all. Maybe we need to change the spin a bit to get the left upset with this group. Here are some things ISIS is doing that should get liberals outraged:

• Paying their women 0% of the salary they pay their men
• Using guns with magazines holding more than 10 rounds
• Many of their beheaders aren’t officially licensed
• The rats in their opium processing tents weren’t wearing hairnets
• Jihadis aren’t provided with healthcare that covers abortions
• Their soldiers aren’t unionized
• Their bombs lack the governmentally required safeguards
• Their camels emit copious amounts of greenhouse gases
• Their nerve gas was tested on animals
• Jihadi transports don’t have enough seatbelts
• The use of lead in their bullets is not environmentally sound
• Excessive ululating increases atmospheric carbon dioxide
• The children they kidnap aren’t given sex education courses before being sold to pimps
• They don’t seem to realize that Obama has changed the world already