48 Comments

  1. Nothing – if you listen carefully, you can hear a great deal of snickering from the undergrowth whenever the environmentalists go out to count the animals. They’re getting really good at hide and seek!

  2. Victims of Global Warming, er, um, Climate Change.

    They are being hidden in the environmentalist’s basements so they can start mass hysteria since science is actually NOT on their side.

    Pssst… Don’t eat the stew

  3. Environmentalists say the world lost “half its animals” in the last 40 years. What happened to them?

    Well the dolphins were kind enough to leave a note saying, “So long and thanks for the fish.”

  4. … Mitt Romney declared that “40% of animals are lost to us anyway.”

    … “I tought I tarred a habitat. I did! I DID tar a habitat'”

    … they hopped over the White House fence and haven’t been located.

    … Maybe all the California Condors they saved ate them.

  5. …well, come to think of it, there’s nothing in the Book of Revelation that says people will be raptured.

    …Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell went out on a dinner date.

    …some idiot left the gate open 40 years ago.

  6. They tasted too much like chicken.

    Man, real manly Man, has decreed that more room for bacon is needed.

    Oppo, could they be stuffed in Romney’s binders?

    The Puppy Blender went on a two week binge.

  7. … Arby’s released their ‘all the meat’ Meatzilla sandwich and a few people took ‘all’ a bit more literally.

    … Predation. For some reason though, domestic animals still thrive, and that’s obviously speciesist. Obama will do his share to end discrimination against wild animals by personally increasing predation on dogs.

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