Awesome Flag

Posted on October 7, 2009 11:02 am

This is the actual flag of the Benin Empire:

Why don’t we see more flags like that? “Mess with us, this what happens to you!” It’s always big swatches of color and gives you no idea what you’re getting in to. I like the American flag, but what if instead of stars and stripes it was a Tyrannosaurus Rex biting off some guy’s head? Then other countries would get some idea of what things would be like if they mess with us.

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28 Responses to “Awesome Flag”

  1. Laurence Simon says:

    Um… I hope they burned the neck stump with a torch or other source of flame, because two heads might grow back.

    -ls

  2. FormerHostage says:

    The French battle flag is the same except with a white background.

  3. T.N. Amaps says:

    Notice the guy on the right doesn’t even have a sword? In other words: I’m gonna slice off your head for even thinking of picking up a sword! Hear that Iran? Oh, you made the offhand remark about thinking of developing nukes someday? KaPlow!!!!

  4. MoogieP says:

    Are you sure this isn’t the White House’s new marketing campaign for healthcare reform? You know — the “You Will Buy Health Insurance, Or Else” flag?

  5. Joan of Argghh! says:

    Well, it’s certainly pedestrian enough for even the simplest minds to grasp, so no one could accuse you of duplicity or plead victim status if they cross the path of your national disdain.

    For my taste, however, the Jolly Roger still suffices as the best flag evah. Not just visceral death, but existential, rot-in-the-grave-plus-we’ll-haunt-you-afterwards-and-mock-you death. And we’ll use your bones in our broth, just for good measure.

    Still none of it measures up to the flensing of Charles Johnson by Vanderleun today.

  6. MarkoMancuso says:

    No, MoogieP, that flag is different. The guy with the sword has a bucket on his head, and the guy getting his head chopped off has “WWI Veteran” written on his chest.

  7. Sgt Relic says:

    Virginia has a dead king on our flag but I think our motto, Sic Semper Tyrannis, means death to all T-Rexes, at least I haven’t seen one in a while. Instead we have democrats who eat your wallet!

  8. MarkoMancuso says:

    Fixed

    No, MoogieP, that flag is different. The guy with the sword has a bucket on his head, and the guy getting his head chopped off has “WWII Veteran” written on his chest.

    BTW, Frank, I’ve always felt that our flag should be a drawing of the nose of an A-10 Thunderbolt II.

  9. Jimmy says:

    Now, Frank, you risk getting ussjimmycarter started on what to do with that head!! I, for one, am waiting.

  10. Bailey says:

    that is awesome

  11. cjtony97 says:

    …so, in the Benin Empire the chop your head off for doing the “Hokey Pokey”?

  12. innominatus says:

    Yet somehow, I remain unafraid of the Benin Empire.

  13. Storm says:

    The US flag should be enhanced with the current field of blue and 50 white ninja stars. At least we have the red blood right

    (humor fact-check: the red does symbolize blood.. ok, ‘valor’).

    Ninja stars, people. Think about it.

  14. Silicon Valley Jim says:

    I like the American flag, but what if instead of stars and stripes it was a Tyrannosaurus Rex biting off some guy’s head? Then other countries would get some idea of what things would be like if they mess with us.

    What has been happening to countries that have messed with us since January 20 would be better symbolized by a puppy with big eyes looking out from the flag.

  15. zip says:

    Get rid of the stars and every time we nuke someone add another little mushroom cloud.

  16. storm1911 says:

    To really work the guy with the sword needs to be Dick Cheney or Fred Thompson.
    Tht U.N. flag looks stupid. I like the version from ’90′s Godzilla movies with the same flag, but the world map is morphed into a Godzilla outline. All the outline needs is ercket launchers to finish it off.

  17. Gunga (yeah THAT Gunga) says:

    Former – It can’t be said enough…you are one funny American.

  18. Plentyobailouts says:

    If only we could do that to hippies.

    Our flag is just fine, but it needs 3 less stars. commiefornistan, tax-i-chews-it, and nyork-nyork.

    The Benin flag represents Chuck Norris.. (All bow).. and nancypelousy (All barf).

  19. 10/7/09 Roundup of Interesting Stuff « Beagle Scout links:

    [...] The French Battle Flag looks like the flag of Benin with a white backgroundhttp://www.imao.us/index.php/2009/10/awesome-flag/ [...]

  20. Live Free Or Die says:

    Perhaps our new flag could have a Patriot punching a Hippie, blood gushing from the nose, and seeing stars.
    A cool flag: http://www.honorcountry.com/image.php?object_type=detailed&image_id=2081&window=popup
    Another one: http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/yhst-42000695909641_2075_7291

  21. Stan says:

    It is often spelled wrong. It was the “Benign Empire” and the flag was a symbol of simplistic irony. Like, ‘hey, we’re tough. look at our flag…see?’ When in reality they were liberal lefties that lacked a supporting mainstream media (okay, they didn’t even have an alphabet) so people thought that they were tough when they saw the flag and thusly left them alone for 450 years.

  22. Crusty says:

    Looks like the guy on the left got a big cut sliced into his chest before he beheaded the guy on the right, so it wasn’t total pwnage.

  23. jpmotu says:

    Tyrannosaurus Rex biting off some guy’s head??? Sitting here reading your articles and I come across this one. This was Great! Side splitting laughter. To see this would be great. But I think you would have competition. Just saw another flag that some moron see fit to display. Isn’t there some law that states that we can go to there house and beat the living crap out of someone this stupid for displaying a flag like this? http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b164/digger48/obama/obamanation.jpg

    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2356240/posts

    Someone in Kokomo is married to their sister???

  24. bgates says:

    How come both the guys on the flag are white? I think the Benin Empire must have been racist.

    Of course, showing a black guy cutting somebody’s head off would also be racist, and showing a black guy getting his head cut off by a white guy would be racist, but they could have put a black guy mediating the conflict.

    They didn’t, so Benin = White Supremacist.

  25. Son of Bob says:

    Why did he kill the guy who tells you when to walk at crosswalks? Won’t that leave pedestrians stranded and confused?

  26. Terry_Jim says:

    The “Benin Jerry Empire”
    flag is similar, except the men are holding spoons,
    and hands

  27. Eric says:

    The Benin Empire or Edo Empire (1440-1897) was a pre-colonial African state of modern Nigeria. It is not to be confused with the modern-day country called Benin (and formerly called Dahomey).

    Da-homey? is that ever racist.

    First of all, those people read, the ones who can (about 10%), from Right to Left. Meaning they are the ones getting their heads cut off, not the sword swingers. They are the French times 1000 (not counting inflation).

    Secondly, there is a fabulous port there which set a new (at the time) standard for the place from which slaves were loaded onto ships destined for all parts of the world, which they gathered in the “modern stockyards” for such activity.

    The symbolism of the flag is not “We will cut the head off anyone” it is, “Anyone can cut our heads off”.

    How ironic is it that today this is once again one of the greatest supplies of a world demand commodity, crude oil, and they still don’t know how to use the natural resources they have for their own benefit?

  28. imperialDave says:

    Damn it, 15zip stole my idea. Or how about your nuke the moon symbol in the blue?

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