Words don’t mean what words mean

Posted on June 8, 2012 7:34 am

Bill Clinton wasn’t sure what the meaning of the word “is” was.

That seems to be something the Obama administration has in common with the Clinton administration. Maybe it’s a Democrat thing, not knowing the meanings of words.

Of course, the Obama camp has taken it beyond the meaning of a little word. It’s now up to proper nouns.

Look at what Eric Holder told Congress this week. He said that an email that used the phrase “Fast and Furious” didn’t refer to Fast and Furious, the operation that intentionally let guns into the hands of Mexican drug dealers. Read it here.

So, what did it mean? Well, his defense was it was another scheme to let guns into the hands of Mexican drug dealers.

That’s really not a good defense of actions. It’s like, “Oh, I’m not guilty of killing Joe. The email where I said I killed Joe? I was talking about having killed Kevin. So, everything’s cool, right?”

Anyway, I’m wondering what words mean when Democrats say them. I think I’ve figured some of it out, but I might need your help with the rest.

When a Democrat says, “Hope and Change,” he means “We can really screw things up and smile the whole time.”

When a Democrat says “Your taxes will go down,” he means “Bend over, this might hurt a lot.”

When a Democrat says “Look at all the jobs we created,” he means “Pay no attention to the larger number of jobs lost. And be sure to get to McDonald’s in time to go on shift at 4:00.”

When a Democrat says “We’re going to restore American,” he means “To its status as a colony of Europe.”

When a Democrat says “Everyone is equal,” he means “Unless you’re a woman being paid by Democrats.”

When a Democrat says “We’re the party that supported slavery and created the Ku Klux Klan,” he means … well, he won’t say that, because you really can’t change what that means.

Can you offer some other suggestions on what Democrats really mean when they say the things they say?

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27 Responses to “Words don’t mean what words mean”

  1. Iowa Jim says:

    “the interior of the earth is hot, literally millions of degrees” means “I was admitted to Harvard only because my father was a US senator, but I’m too dumb to know that, or to know enough to check my assertions”.

  2. Steve says:

    “Invest in America” means “tax and spend”

  3. GorT says:

    “Classified material” or “secret” means “it’s ok to talk about it with your NYT and WaPo columnist buddies”

    “Recovery” means “let’s spin the numbers to make it look really good. How about defining a bus driver as a green energy job? Sure. Awesome.”

    Read more here and here.

  4. Mxymaster says:

    “Social justice” means “give me money.” “Economic justice” means “give me money.” “Fairness” means “give me money.” “Spread the wealth around” means “give me money.” Really, these people are just junior high bullies demanding your lunch money or they’ll launch a drone on yo’ a—.

  5. Maxamillian says:

    “Revenue neutral” means I and my Democratic, un-indited co-conspirators will not have to pay anymore in taxes, in fact we may pay less. You on the other hand as a member of the proletariat (or proles as we like to call you) well, let’s just say it’s a crap shoot unless you are a big time donor to our way of life.

  6. Raving Lunatic says:

    “Dead” means preferred voter.
    “Non-citizen” also means preferred voter.
    “Free Speech” means shut your mouth, right-wing wacko
    “Conversation” means an unhinged monologue delivered to a captive, muted audience

  7. tcstorm1 says:

    Where do I start?

    When Democrats say it is going to be a close race, bring out the party hats.

    When Democrats say democracy is dead, a Democrat was shalacked at the election box.

    When Democrats say taxes on millionaires and billionaires they mean everyone.

    When a democrat says I’ll lead from behind….it actually means just that.

  8. Jimmy says:

    “Do it for the children” means “Now, give us what we want.”

    “Give back to the community” means “”You should feel guilty for being successful.”

    “Pay their fair share in taxes” means “You make more than us so we can take it away from you.”

    “Bipartisan effort” means “We convinced a bunch of RINO’s to support us.”

  9. Zaklog the Great says:

    “Open-minded” means “Agreeing with us on every social question and utterly unwilling to question us.”

    “Hateful” means “Unwilling to sacrifice the needs and benefits of society as a whole for the slight convenience of a few.”

  10. Mrs. Campbell says:

    “Native American” – a woman with blonde hair and blue eyes born in New England.

    “Hispanic” – A man with a darkened complexion, regardless of a European sir-name. (Zimmerman)

    “Racist” – Any attempt to offer equality of opportunity as opposed to equality of results.

  11. Burmashave says:

    “Voter Intimidation” means anything that might prevent the dead, illegal or unqualified to vote.

    “Green Jobs” means school bus driver, floor sweeper, environmental studies professor, clerk at used records store, oil lobbyist, Bicycle Repairman, etc. (H/T Daily Caller)

  12. Burmashave says:

    Harvey: I only used two links. I thought 2 links is the max. I did link to a Monty Python bit. Mebbe that did it.

    Thank you in advance for dredging my post from the immoderate poster bin.

  13. Harvey says:

    Burma – our spam filter software errs on the side of caution, so bad things sometimes happen to good people.

  14. Basil says:

    Hmm. Folks have stopped calling me Frank and have started calling me Harvey. Is that a promotion? And, if so, who’s gonna tell Frank?

  15. Son of Bob says:

    Inconceivable!

  16. Burmashave says:

    @Harvey: Well, that still doesn’t explain it.

    @Basil: Sorry, I just assume that Harvey is on dismoderation duty. If you feel slighted at all, you have my permission to un-moderate my comment, and I’ll seek moderation again, but from the proper author.

  17. Harvey says:

    Burma – I am mysterious, aren’t I? :-)

    Anyway, more than 1 link per comment triggers moderation.

    Oh, and to clarify, post authors get their own moderation notifications, but I have a lot of time on my hands, so I tend to check the moderation queue a lot, and dismoderate appropriate comments on other people’s posts as long as I’m in the neighborhood.

  18. Zach says:

    Basil, can you go over the “Hope and Change” translation again? I’m still having trouble understanding. I mean clearly he didn’t mean to promise Change like we think of the word, because you can’t blame the previous guy 3.5 years later if you were the guy who could change it.

  19. Basil says:

    Actually… I don’t get moderation notifications for my posts. WordPress documentation says authors do, but this feature doesn’t work as advertised, and hasn’t for a while. I wandered across it at lunch. I don’t usually worry much, though, because Harvey’s akways on top of things. Whatever they’re paying him isn’t enough.

  20. ComradeChairmanObama says:

    When a Democrat says “fair share”, he means “we’re going to rob the rich blind and give it to our favorite charity – us!”.

    When a Democrat says “The Rich”, he means “All those people who are doing so much better than we are financially and are insanely jealous of so we’ll make them pay their fair share!”.

    When a Democrat says “racist!”, he means “I’ll teach you to disagree with me!”.

    When Democrats say “Bi-partisan”, they mean “Our way or the highway”.

    When a Democrat says “that’s offensive” (i.e., Obama regarding leak allegations ), he means “I’ll teach you to point out my: 1) stupidity; 2)separation from reality; 3) over-all suckage; 4) illegal activity

    When a Democrat says “hate/hate crime”, he means “how dare you point out our complete and utter moral terpitude!”.

    When a Democrat says “I’m sorry”, he means “I’m so very, very, truly and sincerely sorry I got caught, and I’m only apologizing because there’s absolutely no possible way to spin this”.

    When a Democrat says “It’s Bush’s fault!”, he means “It’s Bush’s fault” [ a Democrat saying what he means – a true rarity ].

    When a Democrat says “tolerance”, he means “tolerance for any behavior except anything remotely Judeo-Christian in nature”.

    When a Democrat says “Patriotic”, he means…..uh……ummm…..hmm. Now THAT’S a real melon-scratcher.

  21. Harvey says:

    Basil – Nah, I get paid in scotch, cigars & hookers. I feel fairly compensated.

  22. plentyobailouts says:

    I am thoroughly confused. Basil has been promoted to Harvey, and Harvey has been substituted for FrankJ because Frank is too good for us now that he has a book out? What happened to silly monkey faced liberal? Did the cat get his tongue? Did barry mistake him for a dog? Did the Klingons recruit him for a decoy so sasquatch could slip out of the White House for ice cream? *head explodes*

    If a democrat says “we have cut taxes for the middle class” they mean unless you are a useless parasite, you are rich and need to pay your fair share.

    When a democrat say “raise the minimum wage” they mean employmne t is still too high and not enough people are on welfare

    When they say “right wing” they mean American

    When a democrat says “every vote should count” they mean every democrat vote should count, illegal or not.

  23. Harvey says:

    PoB – You missed the obvious question: are Monkey Faced Liberal and Scary Evil Monkey actually the same person?

    http://www.imao.us/archives/cat_scary_evil_monkey.html

    I’ve never seen them together in the same room.

  24. Burmashave says:

    Harvey says:

    Burma – our spam filter software errs on the side of caution, so bad things sometimes happen to good people.

    @Harvey: It was the “good” part that I was fuzzy about. And again, I only jest about moderation. All of you do a great job of keeping IMAO free of spam while moderating comments very swiftly.

    It’s just entertaining to see what gets caught by the filter and then complain about it.

  25. Harvey says:

    What? You’re having fun in the comments at a humor blog? Blasphemy! :-P

  26. IMAO » Blog Archive » Promoted Comment: When a Democrat Says… links:

    […] to steal Basil’s thunder, but I thought CCO had a pretty good list going in the comments, and I wouldn’t want you […]

  27. Bad Science says:

    Um, best I can tell hope alone has no quantifiable outcome. So they use that to avoid blame.
    Actually, a quote from one of the old timers in my puny Army Reserve unit back in the eighties when I was a noob might translate well here, if I can translate it so it is appropriate for IMAO. Hmm. OK, this might work: Wish in one hand, and deposit the results from digestion in the other, and see which hand gets filled first.
    Science to the rescue! Just replace wish with hope!

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