Straight Line of the Day: If You See a UN Observer at Your Polling Place…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

If you see a UN observer at your polling place…

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61 Comments

  1. …When he tells how Obama will win because he is more “likeable”, remind him of the situations in the Middle East.

    …If he pulls out a cell phone and an orange headband, run like ****.

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  2. Ask him to tell you stories of the glory days watching Lebanon lob missiles at Israel and raping children on the Congo.
    While he’s distracted by waxing poetic, put a badger in his pants and upload it to u-tube.
    Thanks in advance.

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  3. …distract him by pointing and shouting “look, an Israeli building a house!” then he’ll rush to the nearest camera to condemn the zionists.

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  4. Tell him that the Constitution, State law, and local ordinances all trump “international agreements.” And that if he does not work officially for the Supervisor of Elections he must do his observing from a distance of 100 feet. And that if he comes in anyway, that deputy sheriff over there has the duty to take him into custody.

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  5. while I appreciate your heart ernie, this is meant to be a bit more tongue-in-cheek and a bit less “this is what you should actually do for realsies.”

    tell him “I fart in your general direction!”

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  6. …ask him why they only show up when a dictator is on the ballot.

    …move to a red state.

    …air freshener helps.

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  7. ~~~ Bacon to Writer; but really, should we hand guns to those kind of people?

    Ask them if they’ve ever seen this much freedom before in their lives.

    Remind them they are not allowed to vote.

    Point and laugh.

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  8. …remember- they’re more afraid of you than you are of them. In fact, you shouldn’t be afraid of them at all.

    …make sure they’ve been added to the local sex offender registry.

    …just spray water in their faces to scare them off.

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  9. …tell him the French observer surrendered his precinct and he should go and occupy it.

    …buy stock in sex-slaves inc. and Rapees R Us.

    …laugh and inform him that honest elections in the US are the most racist thing white people can aspire to have.

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  10. Knock that swishy, wussy-looking, sky-blue beret off of his head, then remind him how the Wehrmacht made the French army its begging biotch in under a month, back in the early 40s, then remind him of the great Gallic victory in Indochina in the 50s…(oh…that’s right…the French tucked tail and ran high-diddle-diddle away from Viet Nam!) Then remind the poor, dumb bastid how it took the blood, toil and treasure of the US to save the days in those respective instances…and if it wasn’t for Lib Dem politicians like Truman and LBJ overruling commanders in the field that the Cold War might not have happened and extended combat in Viet Nam never taken place.

    Ah, screw it, punch the sod in his pinched, ferret face, laugh like a jester at the idjit as his nose clots, and stride into the voting booth as if your very political and social future depends on your single vote.

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  11. … thank him for making sure we aren’t suppressing rights and thank him for the bang up job the U.N. did in ensuring the same for Syrians, Sudanese, Kosovars, Chechnyans, Somalis….

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  12. … thank him for lending his expertise in fair elections to our process. This goes especially for the guys from China.

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  13. … tell him he forgot his lunch date with (insert name of horrible dictator/dictators here) and he’ll be on his way.

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  14. As a Canadian I will be observing a polling station in Lincoln, Nebraska. Don’t worry I’ll vote before I’m on duty.

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  15. …use your Taser to employ your electronic voting privilege.

    …address him as Mr. Chad and then put a noose around his neck because hanging Chads don’t count.

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  16. Go to vote with two friends in Dearborn, MI
    Friend 1, “Please hold my Bacon as I go in to vote (handing UN Observer bacon)
    Friend 2, “Please hold my Koran as I go in to vote (handing UN Observer Koran)
    You: “LOOK, INFIDEL DESECRATING THE KORAN!”
    (problem solved)

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  17. If you see a UN observer at your polling place…just ignore them. Americans, especially when we’re in polling places, are way too Awesome to even acknowledge any of the hypocrites that belong to that frat. house;

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  18. If you see a UN observer at your polling place…tell them you’re here to collect their unpaid parking fines.

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  19. If you see a UN observer at your polling place…remind them that Karma does not recognize “Diplomatic Immunity”.

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  20. If you see a UN observer at your polling place…ask them :”If we start a genocide, will that make you go away?”

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  21. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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