Straight Line of the Day: If You See a UN Observer at Your Polling Place…

Posted on November 2, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

If you see a UN observer at your polling place…

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61 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: If You See a UN Observer at Your Polling Place…”

  1. plentyobailouts says:

    Punch him in his foreign monkey face.

  2. Mr D says:

    … he is probably starting a brothel.

  3. Mxymaster says:

    Ask him where he was four years ago, when Obama and Franken and friends were stealing the election.

  4. Igmatas says:

    … ask him/her who they voted for.

  5. Mxymaster says:

    Wait, my punchline wasn’t funny. How about that.

  6. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . fire two warning shots . . . into his legs.

  7. Silverfiddle says:

    …Keep your children close

  8. DamnCat says:

    …stand uncomfortably close and tell him you’re the official UN Observer Observer.

  9. rodney dill says:

    Offer him an UN-cola.

    Say, “Pardon me…. Do you have any Grey Poupon.”

    Say, “A sphincter says what?….”

  10. currently says:

    Tell him to prove it by putting on his blue helmet.

  11. rodney dill says:

    Ask him… “Are European or are eurosh!tt!n’?”

  12. srm000 says:

    …When he tells how Obama will win because he is more “likeable”, remind him of the situations in the Middle East.

    …If he pulls out a cell phone and an orange headband, run like ****.

  13. Dohtimes says:

    …you get in line behind the Black Panthers and the Cub Scouts while they administer their beatings.

  14. rodney dill says:

    say to him, “Badges… We don’t need no stinkin’ badges.”

  15. T-dog says:

    Let him know the French have more victories than the UN does.

  16. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    Ask him for an ID, his work visa and a green card.

  17. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    Take all his money and tell him it’s for his withholding tax. They’re “working”, right?

  18. tomg51 says:

    Ask him to tell you stories of the glory days watching Lebanon lob missiles at Israel and raping children on the Congo.
    While he’s distracted by waxing poetic, put a badger in his pants and upload it to u-tube.
    Thanks in advance.

  19. tomg51 says:

    Tell him The Village People photo op was yesterday, and we’re just voting now.

  20. Eric Praline says:

    …distract him by pointing and shouting “look, an Israeli building a house!” then he’ll rush to the nearest camera to condemn the zionists.

  21. Eric Praline says:

    …temporarily convert the Mexi-cannon into an UN-cannon.

  22. Ernie G says:

    Tell him that the Constitution, State law, and local ordinances all trump “international agreements.” And that if he does not work officially for the Supervisor of Elections he must do his observing from a distance of 100 feet. And that if he comes in anyway, that deputy sheriff over there has the duty to take him into custody.

  23. archangel says:

    while I appreciate your heart ernie, this is meant to be a bit more tongue-in-cheek and a bit less “this is what you should actually do for realsies.”

    tell him “I fart in your general direction!”

  24. the sizzla says:

    c**k punch him.

  25. plentyobailouts says:

    Spit on him and tell him to “Observe this!”

  26. Jimmy says:

    …point your musket at his junk and smile.

  27. HokieGomer says:

    …ask them how that Uganda thing is working out for them.

  28. HokieGomer says:

    @ T-dog #15… Bacon for you, sir! ~~~~~

  29. Dohtimes says:

    …ask him why they only show up when a dictator is on the ballot.

    …move to a red state.

    …air freshener helps.

  30. James says:

    Remind him that we are one of the big boys and just veto their observations.

  31. Mookie says:

    tell him you’d like the large size Slurpee and a pack of Camel unfiltereds.

  32. Writer says:

    Ask him why they did not observe the Egyption elections.

  33. Writer says:

    Ak him if he will hold your gun while you go in and vote.

  34. Writer says:

    Offer him directions to the closest border.

  35. Steve says:

    Iowa….I think you meant lungs, not legs?

  36. artvol11 says:

    …pull out shotgun a shotgun and ask “So, hows that assault weapons ban working out for ya?”

  37. Mrs. C says:

    ~~~ Bacon to Writer; but really, should we hand guns to those kind of people?

    Ask them if they’ve ever seen this much freedom before in their lives.

    Remind them they are not allowed to vote.

    Point and laugh.

  38. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …remember- they’re more afraid of you than you are of them. In fact, you shouldn’t be afraid of them at all.

    …make sure they’ve been added to the local sex offender registry.

    …just spray water in their faces to scare them off.

  39. Dohtimes says:

    …tell him the French observer surrendered his precinct and he should go and occupy it.

    …buy stock in sex-slaves inc. and Rapees R Us.

    …laugh and inform him that honest elections in the US are the most racist thing white people can aspire to have.

  40. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    Knock that swishy, wussy-looking, sky-blue beret off of his head, then remind him how the Wehrmacht made the French army its begging biotch in under a month, back in the early 40s, then remind him of the great Gallic victory in Indochina in the 50s…(oh…that’s right…the French tucked tail and ran high-diddle-diddle away from Viet Nam!) Then remind the poor, dumb bastid how it took the blood, toil and treasure of the US to save the days in those respective instances…and if it wasn’t for Lib Dem politicians like Truman and LBJ overruling commanders in the field that the Cold War might not have happened and extended combat in Viet Nam never taken place.

    Ah, screw it, punch the sod in his pinched, ferret face, laugh like a jester at the idjit as his nose clots, and stride into the voting booth as if your very political and social future depends on your single vote.

  41. seanmahair says:

    …call Joe Biden so either he or the observer can can rope a dope.

  42. RAML says:

    Accidentally give the elbow to the nose to the poor shrimp, as you strut your stuff to the voting booth.

  43. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … thank him for making sure we aren’t suppressing rights and thank him for the bang up job the U.N. did in ensuring the same for Syrians, Sudanese, Kosovars, Chechnyans, Somalis….

  44. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … thank him for lending his expertise in fair elections to our process. This goes especially for the guys from China.

  45. CarolyntheMommy says:

    Bacon to 1,3,5,9.. and anything Jimmy says.

  46. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … tell him he forgot his lunch date with (insert name of horrible dictator/dictators here) and he’ll be on his way.

  47. CarolyntheMommy says:

    And 7 and 20. Bacon to twenty especially.

  48. Jimmy says:


  49. Mike says:

    As a Canadian I will be observing a polling station in Lincoln, Nebraska. Don’t worry I’ll vote before I’m on duty.

  50. tanstaafl says:

    hide the women folk.

  51. Critter says:

    …judicious markmanship will be appreciated.

  52. Dohtimes says:

    …use your Taser to employ your electronic voting privilege.

    …address him as Mr. Chad and then put a noose around his neck because hanging Chads don’t count.

  53. rodney dill says:

    Go up to him and demand, “Kenneth! What it the frequency!”

  54. rodney dill says:

    Go to vote with two friends in Dearborn, MI
    Friend 1, “Please hold my Bacon as I go in to vote (handing UN Observer bacon)
    Friend 2, “Please hold my Koran as I go in to vote (handing UN Observer Koran)
    (problem solved)

  55. CTCompromise says:

    If you see a UN observer at your polling place…just ignore them. Americans, especially when we’re in polling places, are way too Awesome to even acknowledge any of the hypocrites that belong to that frat. house;

  56. CTCompromise says:

    If you see a UN observer at your polling place…tell them you’re here to collect their unpaid parking fines.

  57. CTCompromise says:

    If you see a UN observer at your polling place…remind them that Karma does not recognize “Diplomatic Immunity”.

  58. CTCompromise says:

    If you see a UN observer at your polling place…ask them :”If we start a genocide, will that make you go away?”

  59. CTCompromise says:

    If you see a UN observer at your polling place…bow to them, IF you are voting for Obama.

  60. CarolyntheMommy says:

    58 for the win

  61. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “If you see a U.N. observer at your polling place…” […]

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