Straight Line of the Day: If You See a UN Observer at Your Polling Place…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
If you see a UN observer at your polling place…
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(4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:04 pm
Punch him in his foreign monkey face.
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:05 pm
… he is probably starting a brothel.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexual_abuse_by_UN_peacekeepers
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:07 pm
Ask him where he was four years ago, when Obama and Franken and friends were stealing the election.
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:08 pm
… ask him/her who they voted for.
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Wait, my punchline wasn’t funny. How about that.
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:24 pm
. . . fire two warning shots . . . into his legs.
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:30 pm
…Keep your children close
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:30 pm
…stand uncomfortably close and tell him you’re the official UN Observer Observer.
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:31 pm
Offer him an UN-cola.
Say, “Pardon me…. Do you have any Grey Poupon.”
Say, “A sphincter says what?….”
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:34 pm
Tell him to prove it by putting on his blue helmet.
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:34 pm
Ask him… “Are European or are eurosh!tt!n’?”
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:41 pm
…When he tells how Obama will win because he is more “likeable”, remind him of the situations in the Middle East.
…If he pulls out a cell phone and an orange headband, run like ****.
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:42 pm
…you get in line behind the Black Panthers and the Cub Scouts while they administer their beatings.
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:50 pm
say to him, “Badges… We don’t need no stinkin’ badges.”
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:54 pm
Let him know the French have more victories than the UN does.
November 2nd, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Ask him for an ID, his work visa and a green card.
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Take all his money and tell him it’s for his withholding tax. They’re “working”, right?
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:05 pm
Ask him to tell you stories of the glory days watching Lebanon lob missiles at Israel and raping children on the Congo.
While he’s distracted by waxing poetic, put a badger in his pants and upload it to u-tube.
Thanks in advance.
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:09 pm
Tell him The Village People photo op was yesterday, and we’re just voting now.
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:10 pm
…distract him by pointing and shouting “look, an Israeli building a house!” then he’ll rush to the nearest camera to condemn the zionists.
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:21 pm
…temporarily convert the Mexi-cannon into an UN-cannon.
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:23 pm
Tell him that the Constitution, State law, and local ordinances all trump “international agreements.” And that if he does not work officially for the Supervisor of Elections he must do his observing from a distance of 100 feet. And that if he comes in anyway, that deputy sheriff over there has the duty to take him into custody.
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:28 pm
while I appreciate your heart ernie, this is meant to be a bit more tongue-in-cheek and a bit less “this is what you should actually do for realsies.”
tell him “I fart in your general direction!”
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:40 pm
c**k punch him.
November 2nd, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Spit on him and tell him to “Observe this!”
November 2nd, 2012 at 2:24 pm
…point your musket at his junk and smile.
November 2nd, 2012 at 2:26 pm
…ask them how that Uganda thing is working out for them.
November 2nd, 2012 at 2:29 pm
@ T-dog #15… Bacon for you, sir! ~~~~~
November 2nd, 2012 at 2:33 pm
…ask him why they only show up when a dictator is on the ballot.
…move to a red state.
…air freshener helps.
November 2nd, 2012 at 2:45 pm
Remind him that we are one of the big boys and just veto their observations.
November 2nd, 2012 at 2:45 pm
tell him you’d like the large size Slurpee and a pack of Camel unfiltereds.
November 2nd, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Ask him why they did not observe the Egyption elections.
November 2nd, 2012 at 2:58 pm
Ak him if he will hold your gun while you go in and vote.
November 2nd, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Offer him directions to the closest border.
November 2nd, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Iowa….I think you meant lungs, not legs?
November 2nd, 2012 at 3:20 pm
…pull out shotgun a shotgun and ask “So, hows that assault weapons ban working out for ya?”
…
November 2nd, 2012 at 3:20 pm
~~~ Bacon to Writer; but really, should we hand guns to those kind of people?
Ask them if they’ve ever seen this much freedom before in their lives.
Remind them they are not allowed to vote.
Point and laugh.
November 2nd, 2012 at 4:19 pm
…remember- they’re more afraid of you than you are of them. In fact, you shouldn’t be afraid of them at all.
…make sure they’ve been added to the local sex offender registry.
…just spray water in their faces to scare them off.
November 2nd, 2012 at 4:49 pm
…tell him the French observer surrendered his precinct and he should go and occupy it.
…buy stock in sex-slaves inc. and Rapees R Us.
…laugh and inform him that honest elections in the US are the most racist thing white people can aspire to have.
November 2nd, 2012 at 8:04 pm
Knock that swishy, wussy-looking, sky-blue beret off of his head, then remind him how the Wehrmacht made the French army its begging biotch in under a month, back in the early 40s, then remind him of the great Gallic victory in Indochina in the 50s…(oh…that’s right…the French tucked tail and ran high-diddle-diddle away from Viet Nam!) Then remind the poor, dumb bastid how it took the blood, toil and treasure of the US to save the days in those respective instances…and if it wasn’t for Lib Dem politicians like Truman and LBJ overruling commanders in the field that the Cold War might not have happened and extended combat in Viet Nam never taken place.
Ah, screw it, punch the sod in his pinched, ferret face, laugh like a jester at the idjit as his nose clots, and stride into the voting booth as if your very political and social future depends on your single vote.
November 2nd, 2012 at 8:47 pm
…call Joe Biden so either he or the observer can can rope a dope.
November 2nd, 2012 at 9:32 pm
Accidentally give the elbow to the nose to the poor shrimp, as you strut your stuff to the voting booth.
November 3rd, 2012 at 12:26 am
… thank him for making sure we aren’t suppressing rights and thank him for the bang up job the U.N. did in ensuring the same for Syrians, Sudanese, Kosovars, Chechnyans, Somalis….
November 3rd, 2012 at 12:28 am
… thank him for lending his expertise in fair elections to our process. This goes especially for the guys from China.
November 3rd, 2012 at 12:32 am
Bacon to 1,3,5,9.. and anything Jimmy says.
November 3rd, 2012 at 12:35 am
… tell him he forgot his lunch date with (insert name of horrible dictator/dictators here) and he’ll be on his way.
November 3rd, 2012 at 1:12 am
And 7 and 20. Bacon to twenty especially.
November 3rd, 2012 at 1:48 am
Bacon!
November 3rd, 2012 at 3:38 am
As a Canadian I will be observing a polling station in Lincoln, Nebraska. Don’t worry I’ll vote before I’m on duty.
November 3rd, 2012 at 8:02 am
hide the women folk.
November 3rd, 2012 at 8:59 am
…judicious markmanship will be appreciated.
November 3rd, 2012 at 1:56 pm
…use your Taser to employ your electronic voting privilege.
…address him as Mr. Chad and then put a noose around his neck because hanging Chads don’t count.
November 3rd, 2012 at 4:12 pm
Go up to him and demand, “Kenneth! What it the frequency!”
November 3rd, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Go to vote with two friends in Dearborn, MI
Friend 1, “Please hold my Bacon as I go in to vote (handing UN Observer bacon)
Friend 2, “Please hold my Koran as I go in to vote (handing UN Observer Koran)
You: “LOOK, INFIDEL DESECRATING THE KORAN!”
(problem solved)
November 3rd, 2012 at 6:02 pm
If you see a UN observer at your polling place…just ignore them. Americans, especially when we’re in polling places, are way too Awesome to even acknowledge any of the hypocrites that belong to that frat. house;
November 3rd, 2012 at 6:03 pm
If you see a UN observer at your polling place…tell them you’re here to collect their unpaid parking fines.
November 3rd, 2012 at 6:05 pm
If you see a UN observer at your polling place…remind them that Karma does not recognize “Diplomatic Immunity”.
November 3rd, 2012 at 6:07 pm
If you see a UN observer at your polling place…ask them :”If we start a genocide, will that make you go away?”
November 3rd, 2012 at 6:09 pm
If you see a UN observer at your polling place…bow to them, IF you are voting for Obama.
November 3rd, 2012 at 9:12 pm
58 for the win
November 5th, 2012 at 8:07 pm
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