Straight Line of the Day: The Most Awkward Moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary Confirmation Hearing…

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The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…

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  1. The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing was when Sen. Carl Levin groaned, shook his head and remarked, “Aw, jeez… That’s going to end up on IMAO for sure.”

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  2. The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing was when he answered the question about President Obama’s containment policy with, “Hey…Who put a baloney sandwich in my pocket?!!”

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  3. The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was Sen. Mike Lee asking him to prove he could spell USMC. …and Sen. McCaskill asked the committee chair if it’d be okay for the nominee to give just a partial spelling and submit the rest of the response in writing.

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  4. The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was when Hagel asked the committe chair if he could “Go to the little general’s room to shake hands with his privates.”

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  5. The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was when he introduced his personal staff to the committee as “Comrades Cho Sing, Machamedjin Abbattani, and Yurev Chavo.”

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  6. …was when zombie Neville Chamberlain shambled into the room as his adviser.

    …the confusing start when he showed up wearing the same pants suit Hillary wore at her testimony.

    …was John Effin Kerry’s snide comment that Hagel’s white flag clashed with his pink tutu. Kerry then posed with his own fashion statement of “No! No! No! This is not a surrender flag, it’s a handkerchief on a stick”.

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  7. The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was hearing the spectators in the gallery chant, “We want a Death Star. We want a Death Star. We want a Death Star…”

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  8. … When he absentmindedly started listing all the reasons for why we should annex Poland

    … When Barney Frank asked him if he told him he had a beautiful body if he’d hold it against him

    … When his answers made Caitlin Upton sound intelligent

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  9. … Constantly having to explain to him that the 5th amendment does not apply in Senate confirmation hearings since he wasn’t on trial, but he just kept insisting that he was just following orders.

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  10. …was Obama holding a shotgun and reminding everyone that if he had a son all white people would look like skeet to him, especially Republicans.

    …was when John Kerry served him with a copyright suit for mentioning that he had served in Vietnam.

    …came when he explained to McCain the difference between a homeless guy sleeping in dumpsters and a sniper shooting space aliens in the alley behind the Chinese restaurant with his ray gun and besides what difference does it make if Martians died?

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  11. …was when he started answering in “gansta” to look tough.

    …was the flurry of text messages he kept getting from Ahmadinejad.

    …was when, after a particularly tough question, he pleaded the Fifth.

    …was when he yelled ‘hoohaa’ after each answer and pumped his fist.

    …was after mention was made of the destruction of Israel he started groping himself.

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