Straight Line of the Day: New York’s Mayor De Blasio Is Pushing the NYPD to Be More Polite. Other NYPD “Improvements”…

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New York’s Mayor de Blasio is pushing the NYPD to be more polite. Other NYPD “improvements”…

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  1. …having that “other” St. Patrick’s Day parade for all the anti-Christian, non-Irish folks in NYC.

    I know I’ve got to get my mind right and accept that nothing says “begorrah” like a drag queen in a burka.

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  2. New York’s Mayor de Blasio is pushing the NYPD to be more polite. Other NYPD “improvements”…

    to selectively enforce existing laws on private income redistribution by the minority community.

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  3. William clubs.

    Patrick wagons.

    Higher caliber of drop pistols.

    S.W.A.K. teams.

    Arrests now based on a grey pouponderance of evidence.

    Free additional degree with every third degree.

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  4. …30 day wait for taking broom or mop handles out of closets.

    …new mission is to protect and suave.

    …now only unbiased outsiders will be used to judge whether or not that’s gonna leave a mark before delivering next kick.

    …must now say pretty please before removing drugs or weapons from evidence locker.

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  5. …all phone books will be secured with a maximum of 3 feet of cord, limiting the maximum impact force when swung at a suspect.

    Said phone books will also be pre-tabbed with the Lawyer, Emergency Medical Services and Bail Bonds sections.

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  6. @19: ” new mission is to protect and suave” — does that fall under the “Rico” statute?

    K-9 units replaced with playful feline units.

    Now mandatory to call out number of shots fired so unlucky punks have same chance as lucky punks.

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  7. …include…

    …a tolerance policy for unlicensed lemonade stands as long as they display a big “D” in a circle and hand out free condoms.

    …allowing day-old bagels to be labeled as “fresh” (although most New Yorkers are against this) unless they are clearly Republican bagels, in which case, THROW THEM OUT! There’s no room in New York for Republican bagels!!!11100!!911!

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  8. New York’s Mayor de Blasio is pushing the NYPD to be more polite. Other NYPD “improvements”…

    …escorting the UN to the next boat out of town

    …Robo-Cop

    …I tell you what they should do, they should combine the two jobs, make it one job, ‘cop\garbage man’. I always see cops walking around with nothing to do. Grab a broom! Start sweeping. You sweep sweep sweep… catch a criminal, get right back to sweeping. (hat-tip Seinfeld)

    …Pink service revolvers

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  9. …new blue-dot robot makes sure your police beating video will not reveal your identity on YouTube.

    …cans of mace switched for cans of WD/40.

    …it’s now legal to spit out your teeth on the sidewalk.

    …assaulting a police officer charge waiver reduced to watching 1/2 episode of Cop Rock.

    …benefit of the doubt for whites no longer automatic if the minority has ATM card.

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  10. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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