REPORTER: i'm here with a victim of identity theft. how has it affected you sir? WALRUS: *grabs mic* JOHN LENNON RUINED MY CREDIT SCORE
— very nice kyle (@hippieswordfish) March 18, 2015
Missed the “Glee” finale but I’ll just assume the whole thing happened in an autistic child’s snow globe.
— daveweigel (@daveweigel) March 21, 2015
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
— Terri Sanders (@pastaskin) March 22, 2015
Just got a call from a 555 number. It's probably a pretty girl from a movie.
— Mike Leffingwell (@mikeleffingwell) March 23, 2015
TREBEK: Yes Tyler ME: What is the answer TREBEK: Once again that is technically correct. And we will be amending that rule after this taping
— Tyler Schmall (@tylerschmall) March 23, 2015
[europe, 91 AD] We need a name for our tribe of murderous warriors "The Sweethearts?" No "The Huns” For some reason that’s better, good work
— Nice Hippo (@NicestHippo) March 24, 2015