How is it bill hs time to find assinine pictures of monkeys for you, yet he cant seem to post a new essay. Does this mean we can blame you, Frank J, for delaying the next Whittle release?
“Don’t move… Slimeball.”
“Get your hands off me, you damn dirty human!”
“I am the Anti-Frank.”
“You’re a disease. I’m the cure.”
And the best of all…
“DAMN IT, I’M A CHIMPANZEE NOT A MONKEY!!! GET IT STRAIGHT!!!”
One minute, they screech for handouts.
The next, the Statue of Liberty is up to her armpits in sand.
Monkeys. Democrats. ENEMIES.
OR
“God gave us both oppposable thumbs, but Sam Colt made us equal.”
This is much more fun than working!
“Michael, you so much as look at me again…”
We’ve said one too many jokes, and the french are mad as hell!
“…every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward. ”
“You homo sapiens and your guns.”
“Hey, this is much better than flingin’ monkey poo!”
Anthropology 407: “Simian gender issues and semi-automatics: A critical study of chimpanzee societies and the role of firearms through the feminism/empowerment interpretative protocols.”
I know what you’re thinking. Did he fire fifteen shots or only fourteen?
A chimp’s got to know his limitations.
Go, Speed, Go… but Chim-Chim’s still going to blow your head off.
“Punxsutawney Phil, come out with your hands up! Your days of f***ing with the seasons are over!”
“So, Marlin Perkins, we meet a last! You don’t remember me, do you? Well I starred in your stupid Wild Kingdom and haven’t seen a single royalty check, you arrogant bastard! So hand over the money and that f***ing banana or Jim here is going to take a bullet in the ass.”
Funnier are those that use the word “frickin’.” Why? I don’t know.
“One more frickin’ monkey joke, com’on, just one more . . .”
“Gun restrictions? I’ll show you my frickin’ gun restricktions.”
“Hey, at least this International Monkey Assassin Organization is better than my last gig. That one had me dancing in the park and wearing a frickin’ tassle hat.”
“I’ll tell you what Mister NRA President Kayne Robinson, if that is your real name .. . I knew Chuck Heston. I worked with Chuck Heston. And you’re NO CHUCK HESTON!”
What’s YOUR position on the 2nd Amendment?
Natural selection . . . a game I LOVE to play.
Screw American Sign Language . . . I prefer to let my Glock do the talkin’.
No habla American Sign Language . . . habla Smith and Wesson.
“Drop the typewriter.”
“We shall now negotiate your army’s surrender, Jacques.”
“My excellent plastic surgeons have made me undetectable, yet attractive. Hail the Baath party!” – S. Hussein
“This is the last time I’m going to ask, WHO ATE MY BANANAS?”
or
“If you don’t reveal the location of this ‘Banana Republic’, the chick in the red dress gets it!”
or
“I knew it! The monkeys have come to take back what is theirs.”
or
“I knew this day would come. You stupid humans elected Hillary and now I am the only one that can stop her.”
“Bobo no want wear diaper!”
“Bobo hate stinky patchouli, shoot hippie in face!”
“Bobo say ‘gun control is hitting poacher you aim at'”
“You looking at Bobo?”
“OK, my tribal council is done and the vote is in, so I suggest that you get your camera crews and the rest of your butt-ugly hairless ape friends the HELL off my island, RIGHT F***ING NOW!”
HE’S a superheroic weblogger obsessed with bringing down the evil Glenn Reynolds. SHE’S a gun-totin’ monkey obsessed with dating Viggo Mortensen. They can’t stand each other, but together THEY FIGHT CRIME!
Cheers,
Sean.
“All I ever wanted was to run around on roller-skates and smoke cigars, but, Bobo, when you started an international drug smuggling operation, you took things too far. Now I have to end it.”
Ahh. All quiet at the suburban blight house. Bob the Builder is tucked snugly in bed, hubby and teens are engrossed in some 1992 C movie in the living room downstairs. I have retreated to my lair to find out…
Charlene the Chimp studies for her Weapons Final at Canadian Frank J’s Communist Monkey School of Sharpshooting and Fashion.
Frank . . Frank . . Frank . . for shame!!
And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!
Mrs. Lincoln, based on your description, here is a composite drawing. To the best of your recollection, is this the man you saw that night at Ford’s Theater?
“And this, Mr.Anderson, is what happens when there is a glitch in the Matrix”
or
“Mr.Anderson, surprised to see me?”
or
“Back away, bucko, that chick’s with me!”
Mojo Jojo hatches his final plan to defeat the Powerpuff Girls.
“No Mr Bond, I expect you to die.”
“I ain’t doin’ ‘Every Which Way But Loose II’, I don’t care how much Eastwood whines.”
Actually, my earlier comment was not a caption. It was a gripe. The little felon puked in the back of my cruiser. I got him on a DWI. He blew a .72. On the field sobriety test, he couldn’t even crawl a straight line. Getting the cuffs on him was a bitch, because he wrapped himself around my leg. I had to call for backup. Then Bonzo tried to hump the K-9. We charged his fuzzy ass with DWI, lewd conduct, impersonating a senator, and an expired driver’s license. He had a CHL, so we couldn’t get him for piece. I can’t believe the little crapper bonded out.
With its 4″ barrel, dove-tailed front-sight, 15-shot magazine, original checkered grips with motif and matte blue finish, he was proud to own the finest of all the Rhesus Pieces
Maybe I’m weird (OK, I am, get over it), but I sometimes find the truncated program descriptions you get on your on-screen program guide to be quite amusing, especially considering what people choose to include and leave out. A sampling while channel-s…
How is it bill hs time to find assinine pictures of monkeys for you, yet he cant seem to post a new essay. Does this mean we can blame you, Frank J, for delaying the next Whittle release?
You see… the future, Muad-Dib.
“Dodge this.”
“Don’t move… Slimeball.”
“Get your hands off me, you damn dirty human!”
“I am the Anti-Frank.”
“You’re a disease. I’m the cure.”
And the best of all…
“DAMN IT, I’M A CHIMPANZEE NOT A MONKEY!!! GET IT STRAIGHT!!!”
“Step away from the puppies, PUNK!”
Chirac without the mask, demands the cheeze..
“The PETA people are on to you, Frank.”
“Poking sticks into termite mounds ain’t got nuthin’ on jackin’ Seven-Elevens for food.”
“Classic grip or gangsta grip? Decisions, decisions…”
The Colt 1911 – for anyone with an opposable thumb.
or
The weapon is “fair and balanced”. The monkey…. not so much.
One minute, they screech for handouts.
The next, the Statue of Liberty is up to her armpits in sand.
Monkeys. Democrats. ENEMIES.
OR
“God gave us both oppposable thumbs, but Sam Colt made us equal.”
See, when i hold it this way, im a gangsta monkey
“No, goddammit, I don’t want a banana.”
“Finally, that Goodall chick is goin’ DOWN!”
“You ain’t gettin’ me on that tryke ever again!”
“Guns don’t kill people, gun weildin’ gay monkeys kill people, lots of ’em!!”
“You’ve spanked your last monkey, mister!”
This is much more fun than working!
“Michael, you so much as look at me again…”
We’ve said one too many jokes, and the french are mad as hell!
“…every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward. ”
“You homo sapiens and your guns.”
“Hey, this is much better than flingin’ monkey poo!”
“Hi. My name’s Hillary Clinton.”
“Freeze, turkey!”
Anthropology 407: “Simian gender issues and semi-automatics: A critical study of chimpanzee societies and the role of firearms through the feminism/empowerment interpretative protocols.”
Whoops, should be interpretive.
Monkeys at typewriters and all that…
“Step off or get dealt with, Rummie…”
The caption is “I’m comming for you Frank!”
Next week on Fox:
When the French attack!
I know what you’re thinking. Did he fire fifteen shots or only fourteen?
A chimp’s got to know his limitations.
Go, Speed, Go… but Chim-Chim’s still going to blow your head off.
Another day in the life of Frank J.
“Punxsutawney Phil, come out with your hands up! Your days of f***ing with the seasons are over!”
“So, Marlin Perkins, we meet a last! You don’t remember me, do you? Well I starred in your stupid Wild Kingdom and haven’t seen a single royalty check, you arrogant bastard! So hand over the money and that f***ing banana or Jim here is going to take a bullet in the ass.”
“Putting a f***ing fleece shirt on top of my fur was bad enough, but f***ing PINK!?? You DIE now!”
“It wasn’t a bananna in my pocket, and I’m not happy to see you.”
“Alright! Who gave the Democrat a gun?!?”
Funnier are those that use the word “frickin’.” Why? I don’t know.
“One more frickin’ monkey joke, com’on, just one more . . .”
“Gun restrictions? I’ll show you my frickin’ gun restricktions.”
“Hey, at least this International Monkey Assassin Organization is better than my last gig. That one had me dancing in the park and wearing a frickin’ tassle hat.”
Limo Liberal Dianne Feinstein demonstrates the benefits of having a concealed weapons permit.
“Go ahead, make my day. *shriek! shriek! shriek!”
“You got somethin’ against pink shirts? I didn’t think so.”
“Oh him? He’s just my body guard…”
–Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY)
“I’ll tell you what Mister NRA President Kayne Robinson, if that is your real name .. . I knew Chuck Heston. I worked with Chuck Heston. And you’re NO CHUCK HESTON!”
Okay, France. I’m in control now. Buhahahahah.
hln
How about we lock you in a room with a PeeCee for six months and see if you write the complete works of Shakespere, jackass.
Elmo’s got a gun.
What’s YOUR position on the 2nd Amendment?
Natural selection . . . a game I LOVE to play.
Screw American Sign Language . . . I prefer to let my Glock do the talkin’.
No habla American Sign Language . . . habla Smith and Wesson.
“A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the monkey to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.”
“Drop the typewriter.”
“We shall now negotiate your army’s surrender, Jacques.”
“My excellent plastic surgeons have made me undetectable, yet attractive. Hail the Baath party!” – S. Hussein
“This is the last time I’m going to ask, WHO ATE MY BANANAS?”
or
“If you don’t reveal the location of this ‘Banana Republic’, the chick in the red dress gets it!”
or
“I knew it! The monkeys have come to take back what is theirs.”
or
“I knew this day would come. You stupid humans elected Hillary and now I am the only one that can stop her.”
There are no guns within 100 miles of the zoo. Never! This is an illusion!!
“I’m about to Curious George your ass…”
“Bobo no want wear diaper!”
“Bobo hate stinky patchouli, shoot hippie in face!”
“Bobo say ‘gun control is hitting poacher you aim at'”
“You looking at Bobo?”
“OK, my tribal council is done and the vote is in, so I suggest that you get your camera crews and the rest of your butt-ugly hairless ape friends the HELL off my island, RIGHT F***ING NOW!”
[cue “Alzo Sprach Zarathustra” from 2001: A Space Oddessy]
HE’S a superheroic weblogger obsessed with bringing down the evil Glenn Reynolds. SHE’S a gun-totin’ monkey obsessed with dating Viggo Mortensen. They can’t stand each other, but together THEY FIGHT CRIME!
Cheers,
Sean.
“Don’t you ever call me Rummie again”
“I said no umbrella in my drink you hairless f***errrrraaAAAAAAA!!!” KABLAMMA! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
BLAM! BLAM! …………(reloading)………..KABLAMMA! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!………………KABLAM!
It’s MY Arrogant Opinion!
What are YOU gonna do about it?
Glock: So simple, even a monkey can use it.
Rosignol,
That would be great for an ad. We should send this to Glock.
“All I ever wanted was to run around on roller-skates and smoke cigars, but, Bobo, when you started an international drug smuggling operation, you took things too far. Now I have to end it.”
Step away from the banana… slowwwwwly…
Daily Dose
Ahh. All quiet at the suburban blight house. Bob the Builder is tucked snugly in bed, hubby and teens are engrossed in some 1992 C movie in the living room downstairs. I have retreated to my lair to find out…
“Put… the bunny…. down.”
Hey! Look at me – I’m a monkey with a gun! No one’s afraid of me except Frank!
Badges?…….We dont need no stinkin badges..
Bear: “OK B.J., I reccomend a name change. Now.”
Gilligaaaaaaaaaan!!!
FREEZE KRAZY KRACKER KILLER
“If I can’t have Frank J, than no one will”
“In this world gone mad, you don’t spank the monkey; the monkey spanks you.”
“When Cheetah say ‘take off panties slowly, Jane’, Cheetah mean sloooooooooowly…”
Frank J. at the range.
C’mon, you all know he is a monkey, right?
You gotta ask yourself, “Do I feel lucky?”
Well, do ya… monk?
Just a point of order: You know that monkey is going to rip his thumb off when he fires that Glock.
Always have to learn the hard way…
Frank, if that is what our children would look like, I rescind my offer…..
I am not a monkey! I am a human being!
“Guns don’t kill people, damn dirty apes with guns kill people!” – Chuck Heston
“So ask yourself, do you feel monkey, punk?”
“Yes, this IS the only hope we monkey’s have of getting any respect from FrankJ. Sorry, Glenn…”
“Cheese-eating surrender monkey my ass!”
Frank’s darkest nightmare
See for yourself here. And add a caption!…
(Cop1) HALT! This the LAPD, put the gun down, get your punk, black ass over here!…Your village called…they want their monkey back.
Wow, watching Planet Of The Apes must really
f#ck you up!
Evolution in action.
“So you touched a black monolith and learned to use a bone as weapon. Look who ain’t impressed.”
Charlene the Chimp studies for her Weapons Final at Canadian Frank J’s Communist Monkey School of Sharpshooting and Fashion.
Frank . . Frank . . Frank . . for shame!!
“Trade for…banana?”
You there, show me them boobies
Nobody’s gonna F*** with me on the subway!
DOD reports that Saddam has been found.
or:
Weapons of Mass Destruction have been uncovered.
“curious george finally settles up with the Man in the Yellow Hat..!”
And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!
Mrs. Lincoln, based on your description, here is a composite drawing. To the best of your recollection, is this the man you saw that night at Ford’s Theater?
Frank’s Dream site FOUND!
Courtesy of Bigwig, all of Frank’s dreams /a> can now come true! As a bonus, one may actually be able to work his remote……
“And this, Mr.Anderson, is what happens when there is a glitch in the Matrix”
or
“Mr.Anderson, surprised to see me?”
or
“Back away, bucko, that chick’s with me!”
I think it’s your turn to grind the organ, be-yotch!!!
Mojo Jojo hatches his final plan to defeat the Powerpuff Girls.
“No Mr Bond, I expect you to die.”
“I ain’t doin’ ‘Every Which Way But Loose II’, I don’t care how much Eastwood whines.”
Damn it, I arrested that ass monkey last week. What’s he doing out on bail?
Go ahead, Make my day!
AI! I told you I wanted it shaken! NOT STIRRED!
or
(As Cartman) AY! I’LL BLOW YOUR FRIGGIN’ HEAD OFF!
Actually, my earlier comment was not a caption. It was a gripe. The little felon puked in the back of my cruiser. I got him on a DWI. He blew a .72. On the field sobriety test, he couldn’t even crawl a straight line. Getting the cuffs on him was a bitch, because he wrapped himself around my leg. I had to call for backup. Then Bonzo tried to hump the K-9. We charged his fuzzy ass with DWI, lewd conduct, impersonating a senator, and an expired driver’s license. He had a CHL, so we couldn’t get him for piece. I can’t believe the little crapper bonded out.
OK, you’re out of bananas. STOP SINGING THAT DAMN SONG!!
With its 4″ barrel, dove-tailed front-sight, 15-shot magazine, original checkered grips with motif and matte blue finish, he was proud to own the finest of all the Rhesus Pieces
‘Scuse me? You talking to me? You mus’ be talkin’ to me. I don’ see nobody else here.
I’ll get that damn weasel this time!
“Wait ’til they get a load of me!” (/Joker voice)
“Yeah, give ME the steak and give Mister Oh-I’m-King-Of-The-Jungle The Lion over there the bananas, and see how HE likes living on yellow fruit!”
Give it up George Dubya, there’s a new (powder)monkey in town.
TV Guide
Maybe I’m weird (OK, I am, get over it), but I sometimes find the truncated program descriptions you get on your on-screen program guide to be quite amusing, especially considering what people choose to include and leave out. A sampling while channel-s…
Veni, Vidi, Monki
(sorry, Frank, it fit here….)
There comes a time when you gota ask your self that question, Do I feel lucky? Well do ya punk!
link
moo i can dance like cheeze ball