Wasps were trying to build a nest in front of my garage door. So I got a hose and sprayed the little buggers, and then finished off their nest with my bokken (wooden practice sword). Well, today I find a new nest… not even a nest. Just a tiny little piece that two wasps were standing on, though they barely fit together on it since it is so small. Cheeky little bastards. Guess they don’t take a hint. Next step is chemical warfare.
For others with wasp problems. Here’s some use useful facts:
FUN FACTS ABOUT WASPS
* Wasps tend to build nests where they can have shelter from the rain and best piss people off.
* While bees will only sting in defense of themselves or their hive, a wasp will sting you just because he’s a f**king jerk.
* While many people would think the wasp is closely related to the bee, it’s actually more related to the badger.
* Wasps tend to come from rich families and have good upbringings and join exclusive golf clubs… or maybe I’m thinking of a different kind of wasp.
* While bees collect pollen to make honey for food, I don’t know what the hell wasps eat. I think it’s like birds, rodents, and small children.
* Wasps usually register as independents, but tend to lean Democratic in elections.
* In a fight between wasps and Aquaman, Aquaman would think he could win by hiding under water. But, as soon as he lets his guard down and emerged from water again, the wasps would jump out from behind a rock and sting him dead.
* While wasps building a nest on your house is bad, it’s better than having a monkey nest.
* You cannot cohabit with wasps. First they start out in a nest in front of the garage, next they’ll be in your living room controlling the T.V. remote.
* Wasps, like the zebra, cannot drive a car.
* A Nuke the Moon t-shirt will make you immune to wasp stings.
* Wasps are not very intelligent, but do have just enough intellect to let them be evil… much like Islamic fundamentalists.
* OT: Do not let Islamic fundamentalists build a nest off your garage either. Immediately spray such a nest with a hose.
Frank, although I admire your ninja skills in dealing with wasps with your practise sword, might I suggest implementing your next option, chemical warfare. I, being the most woosiest person on the planet when it comes to wasps, find that Tetramethrin [(1-cyclohexane-1,2-dicarboximido)methyl 2,2-dimethyl 3-(2-methylpropenyl)cyclopropanecarboxylate] .02% is much more effective than even the best ninja sword. ( and I mean the flying type wasp, not the other kind..)
-but you being super smart already knew that.
Too damn bad my Nuke the Moon shirt hasn’t arrived yet! I just found bees trying to inhabit my Weber Kettle and there’s a big ol’ Mud Dawber nest right next to my patio door!
Paul, I’m going to go get some Tetramethrin [(1-cyclohexane-1,2-dicarboximido)methyl 2,2-dimethyl 3-(2-methylpropenyl)cyclopropanecarboxylate] .02% right now!
I live not too far from the original home of the WASP: mainline suburban Philadelphia.
MonkeyPants
Imperial Falconer
Wasps are the debble.
Everything you say is true, Frank!
I have waged war on the wasp nests at my house ever since one of the little demon spawn stung me in the neck for no reason. I suggest a Super-Soaker full of deadly chemical agents. Aim spray, then run like Hell. Then later you can return and bash their nest with your sword to your heart’s content.
#1 “Wasps usually register as independents, but tend to lean Democratic in elections”. That statement is untrue in two respects. #1; We tend to lean Republican, and #2; The word is “Democrat”, although I do use the “ic” part occasionally, as in “Democrat?, Ick!” or “Ewww!”. Kinda’ like “Socialistic”. Also, believe it or not I do have some Islamic fundamentalists trying to ‘rezone’ the neighborhood so as to permit an ‘ethnic cemetary’. That’s a nest in my book. Chemicals won’t work so I’m turning to political activism. If you live in or near Deposit, NY lemme’ know, and together, we can nip this in the bud. Watch for your town newsletter.
PS. Mud dawbers are lone warriors and they never hurt anyone, also They make a cool little vibrating noise when compacting their little mud tube incubators.
Salam Alaikum, Out
Okay Charley, I’m going to take your word for it and leave Mr. Mud Dawber alone–for now. But if he gets out of line just once…
Of course, in between my last post and this one, I found a wasps’ nest on the OTHER side of the house. Thanks for bringing this all up, Frank. My wife saw me outside in the backyard and decided to put me to work doing the long-neglected gardening. Rassin-frassin-grassin.
I think Charley’s right – if you have a nest of Islamic Fundamentalists infesting your area, chemical warfare will probably just make them mad or something (not like they aren’t that way anyhow). I think Charley’s going to have to call in tactical nuclear strikes to control the buggers.
“Rassin-frassin-grassin”, That makes me laugh, I remember that, but I can’t place it! Damn! Remind me please Frank. I’ll be back after I undercoat the SUV. Thanks!, C
aelfheld,
Fission or Fusion, They’re too damned close. Radiation etc. I’m resigned to using “legal means”. So I gotta’ get a lier, er, I mean lawyer.
Rassin-frassin-grassin: Wasn’t that the villain’s little dog in one of the segments of the Rocky and Bowinkle hour?
hmmm wooden practice sword — are you by chance in the SCA?
Man, I’m not sure where rassin-frassin-grassin came from, but I’m pretty sure it was a Hanna Barbera cartoon. My initial thought is Muttley of Dastardly & Muttley, but it could have been an early cartoon. I’ll have to ask my bro, Fritz. He’ll know this…
” A Nuke the Moon t-shirt will make you immune to wasp stings”
Nice product placement, Frank. Now you’ve got immune to wasp stings and makes you supersmart; I reccomend you try for immunity to SARS and supersexy next.
“”Rassin-frassin-grassin”, That makes me laugh, I remember that, but I can’t place it!”
Yosimite Sam’s favorite curse. Usually issued while stomping around waving/firing his pistols.
Shalegrey, you are correct! I can’t believe I didn’t recall that right away. Alzheimers…setting…in…brain…deteriorating….
Ah Yes! “Rassin-frassin-grassin”,Yosemite Sam. I will sleep easier now. Thanks Shalegrey!.
PS. I no longer say “F^%# Y*^”, I’m goin’ with “Rassin-frassin-grassin!” ;-), C
I guess you would deal with a hippy nest by hitting them with the soap, then the hose.