It’s easy to point out the problems of terrorism, but it’s harder to offer real solutions. But I, Frank J., being so smart and not particularly engaged by the Sunday T.V. lineup, have decided to finally solve terrorism once and for all. With these innovative ideas, we can live in a terrorist free world and eat our Chunky Monkey ice cream in peace.
* The Easy One: Kill them. Dead terrorists don’t commit terror… at least not in this world. Maybe they sometime sneak out of hell and plant bombs in Heaven; I don’t know, and frankly that’s not my problem. I just hope they have a good angel of Heavenland Security.
* Education: If terrorists are educated that the West is neato keen, they won’t want to kill us. How to get them to listen, you ask?
Shut up! No talking during my posts!
Anyway, people always listen if you point a gun at them. So educate evil terroristy people at gunpoint. You can use the laser sight of the gun as a laser pointer. Just don’t wave your gun around too much, because it’s distracting.
Some terrorists, such as the leaders, may be too educated. Force-feed them paint chips.
* Do the Reading: Apparently many terrorists are Islamic, and they support their killing with passages in the Koran. Anyone check that out and see what that says? Might be useful.
* Vigilantism: There are terrorists hiding in America, so let’s encourage Americans to find them. All Americans should be empowered to beat up whoever seems terroristy to them. This may lead to some unjust beatings, but, as long as it’s not me, I don’t care.
* Biased Media: One of the reasons so many people hate America and Jews in the Middle East is because the evil dictators rule the media. We can secretly take over the media and tell them that America is rich and powerful because it’s just so much better than their country and that Jews are great people whom they should hug.
Problem is, we need the leaders to think their evil media is still being broadcast. That way, they’ll be all surprised when their people lynch them. And then, we should get pictures of them being surprised because people looking surprised is funny.
* Good ‘Ole Blasphemy: What’s happens in that Mecca place? They won’t let in non-Muslims, so I don’t know. There’s this covered thing at the center which they say is some structure, but I suspect it to be concealing nuclear weapons. We need to invade Mecca and check it out.
Some may say this will anger more Muslims against us, but hey, women driving angers Muslims in Saudi Arabia. If we’re going to anger them anyway, we might as well go the full monty.
* The Big Man: Many terrorists say they take orders from this one called “Allah”. We need to hunt him down and stop him, thus taking out who gives the Islamic extremist terrorist their marching orders and leaving them extremely disorganized. Some say Allah’s location is in Paradise surrounded by dark-eyed virgins, while others place him somewhere in the mountains that border Pakistan.
* Bomb France: Let’s show we are so resolved against terrorism that we will not only treat those who comfort terrorists like terrorists themselves, but will also treat those who appease terrorists like terrorists themselves. Plus, I don’t like France. Also, terrorist say they want to attack France over the headscarf ban, so maybe we’ll steal their thunder, and then they’ll just mope. It’s easy to take out mopers.
* Jesus is the Answer: Christians never hurt anyone, so let’s try and convert everyone to Christianity. We should make a giant statue of Jesus in the middle of Saudi Arabia that has the a loud speaker at it’s mouth that keeps blaring, “The power of Christ compels you to not commit terror! The power of Christ compels you to not commit terror!”
That would be so cool! And the terrorists will be like:
“How is that statue talking?”
“Probably by some speakers hidden inside.”
“Or maybe it’s the Holy Spirit!”
“I’m scared, Mohammad! Hold me!”
“Only if you hold me, Omar!”
First!
dagnabbit! second 🙁
Non-muslims aren’t allowed in Mecca? How do they check?
If we bomb France and the terrorists hate France then the terrorists will think we are in competition like it’s a race.
Then we just have to mention that we can get to north korea before al qaeda can and watch the race begin.
Nope, al qaeda can’t beat us to north korea, no way no how.
Wasn’t it an arms race that enabled Ronald Reagan (cheer!) to beat the evil Soviets? We should get in an arms race with Al-qaeda, since we know we can win a second time.
My good friend Tony Pentin is a genius and is standing up for left-of-centre values. He is fighting capitalism and the evil inequalities that capitalism brings to the world. His email to Frank Jackass is ingenius at worst and superb at best. Pentin is our leader and will fight for left wing values to the death! He never loses against conservatives or fascists!
Frank Jackass – what a terrible name to be born with!
Pentin should be the Prime Minister!
Seeing as that fascist Schwarzenegger can get a job over here – Pentin should overthrow him with our support and install himself as the governor of California. Left-of-centre values – he would promote the Left brilliantly because he is a great man – a true friend!
RIGHT WING PEOPLE = EVIL
FRANK JACKASS – EVIL
I f***ing hate Schwarzenegger…but not as much as I hate Frank Jackass!
Calm down guys (guy, actually). The Limey’s e-mail was long and deserves a thoughtful response, so my answer to it will be a little delayed. Expect it by Wednesday at the latest.
you guys (guy) forgot the poop part…sheesh, you’re slippin’ up, that liberalism is bad for your head.
Each tribe of the Bedioun Arabs, prior to Mohammad, worshipped rocks. Each tribe had their own rock. Mohammad decided they all should worship a meteorite that was located in Mecca.
The Ka’aba is a meteorite.
I vote for “The Easy One”, with a side of ‘Bomb France.”
However, I’d like to start with an appetizer of “Vigilantism”, but only as it applies to ‘Spanish Militant’, ‘XTREME ONE’, ‘Carl”, & ‘Johnny Depp’ a.k.a. The Limey a.k.a. Tony Pentin a.k.a. WANKER!
Clancy = What a stupid name! A fascist name to be exact. Could be related to Mussolini or Franco, maybe, Pinochet, Hitler, no wait…George W. Bush. F***ing prick!
Clancy, I think the Spanish Militant wants you to f*** off! When a socialist tells you to f*** off! You do just that! When a liberal, environmentalist, anatchist and a feminist tells you to f*** off – you do just that!
SO F*** OFF!
F*** OFF CLANCY! F*** OFF FRANK JACKASS! WE DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF THIS IS YOUR WEBSITE. F*** OFF!
The left-of-centre coalition has spoken!
XTREME ONE is the man! Just like Tony! Just like the left-of-centre coalition!
Frank Jackass – that really is the worst name ever. And what’s with his fetish with monkeys?
That fetish of Jackass’ is definitely something to worry about!
Tony’s having a conversation with himself. Everyone just back away slowly, and I’ll call the big blokes with Tony’s Special Jacket.
We’re some socialists, and we’re happening guys.
We have an economic philosophy that’s base on lies.
If you think we’re reasonable, then you’ve been had,
And don’t try and tell us the truth, ‘CAUSE IT MAKES US MAD!
So, F*** OFF!!! (yeah yeah)
F*** OFF!!! (yeah yeah)
F*** OFF!!! (yeah yeah)
Man, I should write for Rage Against the Machine.
One person with multiple aliases isn’t a coalition. Grow up.
Frank, I can almost hear the Rage Against the Washing Machine instruments as I read it. Very nice.
Wow! That rocked to the extreme, American Frank. You’re now our hero. Boo to The Limey.
One reason Frank rulz
Frank is awesome. He’s got a totally jank troll on a leash and just leads the thing around for our amusement–check out the comments to this post to see the silly cavortings of a disturbed multiple personality-type wanker, and the…
I had never quite understood the nuances and fine points of leftist ideology until I had the opportunity to read latino pendejo’s fine post today.
It is now brutally clear that the social and economic order they want to establish is based on having everyone f*** off. Here’s my rendition of a debate within their utopia should they ever succeed in taking the reins of power:
Right: “What about my first amend…”
Left: “F*** OFF”
Right: “So you intend to trash the consti..”
Left: “F*** OFF”
Right: “I’m afraid thats…
Left: “F*** OFF”
Right: “But…”
Left: “F*** OFF”
Right: (mumbling to self)”Where’s the safety on this muthaf***a?”
This is the kind of Carl that should be spelled ‘Karl’.
dude needs a Prozac the size of a gold ball.
Geez the lefty limey was funnier when he was pretending to be a pirate. This time he is just lame wanker. Hey Frank ban him so we can make funny comments behind his back.
Mohammad and Omar may have good tans, but man the frikkin body odor is offensive. No wonder Seinfeld had to sell the car!
Spanish Militant, man, you’d give a Bufferin a headache.
Sticky B: you just described the attitude on some college campuses to a T. Except that campuses tend not to allow guns, so the last line would be more like this:
Right: (mumbling to self)”I wonder if I should kick him in the shins first, or go straight for the jibblies?”
Don’t blame the poor leftist. How would you feel if the ideology you’ve been promoting for the last 150 years has been proven false and harmful over and over again. Not just false on a theoretical basis, but actually false and harmful in practice. How many more millions must be sacrificed at the altar of Marxism, for all the world to see that it hasn’t worked, won’t work and will never work. Of course simple minds when presented with the fact that their ideology doesn’t hold up in the face of logic almost always resort to the FU defense.
Frank, we need not worry about the dead terrorists sneaking bombs into Heaven. Remember who guards the streets of Heaven?
This also has much to do with why the Euroweenies are rejecting Christianity. They don’t want to go to Heaven because they are afraid of the United States Marines. Well, they should be.
The Limey, Tony Pentin, Carl, Xtreme One, Spanish Militant, Johnny Depp…
… a coalition of one!
Imagine what holiday get-togethers are like in his head…
“So educate evil terroristy people at gunpoint. You can use the laser sight of the gun as a laser pointer. Just don’t wave your gun around too much, because it’s distracting.”
frank, you are too much. i bow at your geniusly funny feet.
Must kill Yoda
Must kill Yoda
Must kill Yoda
Must kill Yoda
Must kill Yoda
Frank, most of the bigshot terrorist leaders/ anti-American dictators come to the US for their education. They go to places like Harvard and Yale and listen to the left wing anti-America deivel that comes out of the mouths of crusty old professors. So we should replace the professors with happy, America-loving people. Or we should bomb Harvard.
GNCynic
I say go for the nads from the get-go. The best way to fight the infiltration of stupidity into our great republic, is to disconnect dumbasses from their reproductive capabilities, by any means neccessary.
You’ll have to excuse me. I, XTREME ONE, am a very, very, very gay man.
Wow – I stepped away for a few hours only to come back and find that I’d been attacked by the coalition of one (moron brigade).
Anyway – that was a pretty good tirade. I find it hard to imagine that Tony Pentin is actually a college-aged person. For some reason, 11 sounds about the right age…
To:GNCynic,
From: Sticky B
InRe: xtreme 1 trying to avoid nad damage by claiming to be idealogically opposed to breeding.
Directive: Continue with Plan A just in case his bitch accidently got some eggs in his ass.
monkeys are so sexy
Hey, cut my main man XTREME ONE a break. He and I are both very, very, very, very gay men.
Not that i advocate the utter destruction of all arab people based on the acts of a few assholes…but if we wanna know what God has to say about it when talking about the last days Isaiah 11:15.
“and the lord shall utterly destroy the tounge of the egyptian sea”
…the tounge of the egyptian sea being arabic…..now…i don’t want to kill everyone who speaks the language for that reason only… but…. i can see it happening if these assholes keep pissing off the big boys with the big guns.
adam
you know, they DO have skizoprenia (sp) medication now. i’ve never known a liberal to turn down drugs
Left of center? If we are to believe he is anti-capitalist, then he is far left, nothing to the center.
Truely, the Limey is articulate, calling names, condoning death and then condemning it, and condoning it again. Making fun of people’s parents. Those who have been affected by tragedy.
The left’s moral superiority proves itself again!
Frank, you should feel important. Your posts must be addicting enough to draw liberal facists to your website. They truely think they will change our minds by insulting us and using radical language that makes Al Sharpton look angelic.
The Limey wouldn’t mail you if he didn’t love reading your responses. I think he gets an erection from it. After all, he is liberal.
Terrorist Troubleshooting 101
Imperial Secretary of War and monkey-hater Frank J. has come up with several solutions to solving the terrorist threat our world faces. My personal favorite: Bomb France: Let’s show we are so resolved against terrorism that we will not only…
Hello. I have decided to join Mr Pentin’s left-of-centre coalition. I see that Pentin is a genius and the coalition is the best place for me. So f*** conservatives and f*** fascists!
I have also decided to join the left-of-centre coalition. It’s the best place for me, Frank. I’m afraid capitalism doesn’t work. I have decided to join the left.
I see Frank’s been coming on here writing under my name. Bastard! Well Frank, my revenge has been unleashed – Clancy and Dylan have joined the coalition.
Welcome Clancy and Dylan. You are now on the left. I’m glad you;ve finished with evil right-wing beliefs.
Clancy and Dylan were some of Frank’s biggest allies on the Right. But they had enough of raping Frank Jackass from behind and have now joined the left-of-centre coalition.
I guess XTREME ONE’S “F*** OFF” rant had an effect. Xtreme One is a genius…but not as brilliant as our leader!
Yes, guys, Frank J. is an evil man. Frank Jackass – that’s his real name.
Can I apologise unreservedly for doubting the integrity of the left-of-centre coalition. I am so sorry. I’m just glad you have forgiven us and allowed us into the coalition. It’s great to be left-wing!
That’s ok, Dylan. Better late than never. What’s the deal with Jackass anyway? He’s got this crazy idea that me, Johnny, XTREME ONE and Carl are all the same people!
Well my Spanish friend, they don’t call him Frank Jackass for nothing!
The coalition will continue to grow. We will take over this website eventually. Do you hear me Frank? WE’RE COMING AFTER YOU!
I’d personally like to have this website shut down!
I know a mate who’s a hacker. Maybe he could sort something out! That would really piss Frank off!
Maybe I should do it. I mean I owe it to you guys.
Fair enough, Clancy.
I’ve got a mate who’s good at this sort of stuff. Anarchy! Anarchy! Anarchy!
I’m off to see what I can do. I want this site shut down as well.
I’m off see you later.
Same here. Gotta get going. Make a few phone calls to some hackers.
Same here. See you.
I’m gonna do that as well. See you.
I think it’s safe to say that Fank Jackass’ site is under serious threat. See you later.
This is no early April Fool, Frank. We WILL try to get this site shut down!
See you later.
Let ANARCHY commence.
DAMN THOSE BASTARDS!
Don’t you kids have to get to school?
F*** you Otto!
Heh heh heh. This is the part, Militant,” where I’m supposed to get pissed off by you, right?
I’m not. Sorry ’bout that.
Y’see, I’m sure there’s ONLY ONE OF YOU POSTING. I think you’re just flipping between screen names in a vain attempt to pretend that there’s a whole host of you guys preparing to bring down Frank’s blog. I don’t think you actually know any hackers, and I think you’re about 14. Maybe younger. In any case, Frank has nothing to worry about.
So, c’mon, kid, is that the best you can do? I’ve been insulted by the best, and you just don’t cut it.
Oh, just sit back and enjoy the one man show.
I am sooo honored to have had my identity stolen.
LOL! Someone poses as me to try to gain some leverage. You retards. Instead of rationalizing, they call us facists, and then pose as me to make it appear that I have switched sides to retardism.
Hilarious to whomever did that. I commend your lack of intelligence
These people, the least they can do is give an e-mail for you to respond. But they have no facts to lay on the table, only absurd facist assertions.
If the retard posing as me truely wanted to convince people it was me, all he had to do was look at my e-mail and then type it in the box to make it more believable. Simply, utterly, and devastating stupidity by those who try to fool the intelligent.
I have nothing to hide, but obviously they do.
The left’s moral superiority proves itself again!
Submitted for Your Approval
First off…  any spambots reading this should immediately go here, here, here, and here.  Die spambots, die!  And now…  here are all the links submitted by members of the Watcher’s Council for this week’s vote. Council links:Dominoes…
I Want More Trolls, Like Frank
After reading some massively hilarious, and crazy comments here I have decided to revise my trolls policy. Thus having a no-policy policy. Trolls are funny. I want to be like Frank….
The Council Has Spoken!
First off…  any spambots reading this should immediately go here, here, here, and here.  Die spambots, die!  And now…  the winning entries in the Watcher’s Council vote for this week are Social Security by Hawken Blog, and Tax-Funde…
Must Reads!
This week’s this weeks Watcher’s Council was so incredible, choosing a winner was really tough. I highly recommend starting at the top and just going down the list: Council Winner:Social SecurityHawken BlogRunner’s Up:Dominoes in the 21st CenturyAlpha …
F*** the whole right!
The Watcher Teaches Me Yet More
Boy! That Watcher is a tough task master! But, it seems, he requires no less from himself. Apparently, he hand – codes his whole blog [the thought of which just boggles my tiny mind] Now, it seems that he sent…
I can’t believe what you’ve wrote. You should be ashamed of yourself. Anyway, Christians have hurt and killed many people? Um, do you remember the SPANISH ENQUISITION against Jews and Muslisms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
your answer to how to get rid of terrorist is really dumb it makes no sense at all your answer is to threaten them with a gun. Do you really think thats going to scare people that are taught to blow themselves up for their god. Guns wouldn’t persuade their thinking at all they’d be more than happy to take a bullet.
I am terribly offended by the ignorance and stupefecation of most people that posted here, you people need to stop living up ur ass and be realistic, many arabs have been to the US and European countries and as far as I know they have come to praise them. The lack of consideration for such people just shows WHY the whole world hates you, you are just too egoistic and terribly rude. There are other religions in the world besides Chrisitianity and Islam. Most muslims actually tolerate other religions, the minority that doesnt just seems to be “overwhelmed” by people like you who claim to know everything yet are so superficial. I completely understand the part about terrorists and Islam, but if you would just take the time you will learn that Islam is actually against all that!!!
PS-almost everything posted in here is offensive for the arabs(muslims) , i do hope you reconsider your further postings if you have any shred of decency.
Thank you
Hi.. I was reading this so called solutions to stop terrorism in America and couldent help but notice how anit-muslim it was.Well I am a Muslim and not from Middle East but from Bosnia, in case you didn’t know that is in Europe.Let me give you some solutions to stop terrorism. How about you stop bashing Muslims because we are not all terrorists.You should concentrate on all of those people who are killed by Gangsters. What about all those serial killers or school shootings who caused that Muslims–I DON’T THINK SO. How would u feel if if I said we should burn all Bibles or that Jesus should be checked out..Also Allah means god on Arabic and its not some dude..I am not into War or Terrorism considering I lived through a war and lived in refugee camps but i bet you don’t know how it is because you are safe in ur perfect America soo please stop bashing muslims cuz you don’t know anything about Islam…
Hi.. I was reading this so called solutions to stop terrorism in America and couldent help but notice how anit-muslim it was.Well I am a Muslim and not from Middle East but from Bosnia, in case you didn’t know that is in Europe.Let me give you some solutions to stop terrorism. How about you stop bashing Muslims because we are not all terrorists.You should concentrate on all of those people who are killed by Gangsters. What about all those serial killers or school shootings who caused that Muslims–I DON’T THINK SO. How would u feel if if I said we should burn all Bibles or that Jesus should be checked out..Also Allah means god on Arabic and its not some dude..I am not into War or Terrorism considering I lived through a war and lived in refugee camps but i bet you don’t know how it is because you are safe in ur perfect America soo please stop bashing muslims cuz you don’t know anything about Islam…