The next episode of The Limey will be delayed until Wednesday at the latest because it’s a long e-mail worth of a long response. It will be worth the wait, I promise.
I got a great description of the Air Force from someone in the know, and I was about to print it but realized I didn’t correctly copy it all from the e-mail which I’ll have to correct when I get home. I’d love some descriptions of the other branches of the military from people with experience (and no gratuitous branch bashing – not that anyone would ever think of doing that). I’ll put up the description of the Air Force tomorrow so you know what I’m looking for.
I have a new advertiser selling cards with 52 reasons why Bush should be reelected. As a Frank J. fan, you must check them out.
I also received a True Patriot award from PatriotBlog.com. I like awards. Someone should give me a “Better than Jonah Goldberg Award”.
Speaking of that, my fan clubs should come up with a way for people to sign up as fans of Frank J. (and then pad the number of sign ups so it’s a big number). I’ll soon have marching orders for my fans. These will be the best fan clubs ever!
…and the ones most advantageous to me! Muh ha ha ha!
FIRST!
And I’ll email you some Navy stuff, from a submariners point of view (other Navy folk, please add stuff).
I could do some Army stuff, but I am busy teaching the alphabet to a few Marine grandpa’s.
That’s right James. The Army’s soooooooo bad now with their lil’ black beenies. Every Marine I know is so envious of them (there’s NEVER enough TP in the MREs!)
Frank…here’s the only description you’ll need for Marines (it was used in IRAQ):
Frank, are you trying to cultivate fans or raise an army?
Frank, while it’d be cool to see characters of other military branches for In My World, it’s okay if you stick with just the USMC. After all, doesn’t everyone here know what “army” stands for? “Ain’t Ready For the Marines Yet!” lol! 😛
PS: BTW, Haagus has apparantly soiled himself.
😉
MARINE = Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected
NAVY = Never Again Volunteer Yourself
Frank, I think somebody might be giving you a run for your money in the ridiculousness category. Thankfully, you’re a bit more tasteful. Anyways, it’s friggin’ hilarious. http://www.somethingawful.com/jlistcontest/topten/Delanosaurus.htm
As for the Army perspective, why not just ask Matt from Blackfive?
Is it ok to do Branch Bashing if it isn’t gratuitous?
Is it ok if we submit ficitious branches of the military? I ask because I noticed that someone said they would submit Submariner and I always thought that guy was a comic book super hero.
Oh well, I’ll probably be too busy to submit, what with running the Vast Zionist Conspiracy and all.
LOL. Those are some good ones, Haagus. 😀
Marching orders? Blech. Work.
I did manage to throw together some buttons though.
Gotta do it – I’ll accept my punishment.
US Army Soldier, in poncho, standing post in pouring rain. “This sucks!”
US Army Airborne, up to waist in swamp, rain pouring down. “I love how much this sucks!”
US Army Ranger, up to nose in swamp, snake held in teeth, fending off alligator with one arm, rain pouring down. “I wish this would suck even MORE!”
US Air Force Airman, inside barracks, sitting in easy chair with bowl of popcorn, looking at TV while rain pours down outside. “The cable’s out?! This SUCKS!”
Hehehehe.
Orion
hmm, telnon, a frank j. army… sounds like a lot of fun
Michael Moore: Here comes a McFascist now! With their puny little guns and two-by-fours. NO 2X4 CAN MATCH MY ALMOST KEVLAR LIKE LAYERS OF CHOLESTEROL PROTECTION
Army Member: Uh huh, right, there’s eighty of us, and a very angry dog.
Everyone: Very angry…
Did I just hear a Marine making fun of the Army’s hats? A Marine? With the seven different uniforms for the enlistemed men? (“In cadence… accessorize!”)
My most vivid Army memory involved trying to fly an M113. Short version, they don’t, not very well. But they land like a sonuvabitch…
Hey Richard,
Once again the Army got it wrong (either that or you’re projecting).
There are 8 uniforms for enlisted Marines (there used to be 11 until the USMC went from Summer and Winter service uniforms to a single all season one). The uniforms are:
Alphas (with jacket)
Bravos (long sleeve shirt only)
Charlies (Short sleeve shirt)
Dress Blue Alpha (medals)
Dress Blue Bravo (ribbons and badges only)
Dress Blue Charlie (Blue trouser and long sleeve shirt)
Dress Blue Delta (Blue trouser and short sleeve shirt)
Utilities (these are what the Army used to call fatigues and now calls BDU’s [battle dress uniform] and apparently sleeps in them also).
Marine Officers have the same uniforms in addition to the White Dress. Most of us hated that “Good Humor” monkey suit (calm down Frank, it’s just an expression) but we had to have it ‘cuz the Navy won’t let us wear our Dress Blues at their functions due to petty jealousy and envy.
The only Army uniforms I remember are…uh…
Class A highwaters
Class A too tight in the waist
Class A jacket too big
Class A hat the size of Texas
There is also a Dress Uniform with so many baubles, ropes, ribbons and badges that it’ll make a packrat envious
Gee. I guess you’re right. The Army DOES have fewer uniforms. I appologize.
🙂
It seems that during the Clinton years there was another push at cutting the Defense budget. The Joint Chiefs were in a conference room trying to decide what programs would get the short end of the stick. The meeting soon degenerated into a shouting match with each Service Chief espousing their service’s superiority over the others. Just as it seemed they would come to blows the room was filled with a bright light. Everyone looked up to see a white dove fluttering above the conference table holding a scroll in it’s feet. The dove dropped the scroll on the table and then suddenly…both the light and dove were gone.
After a few moments of stunned silence, the JCS picked up the scroll and read it.
It was signed:
ewwww-rahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now that everyone’s chops have been properly busted I want to say the following:
The United States Military is quite possibly the Best, Brightest, Most Intelligent, and Most Professional fighting force in the entire history of mankind.
There have been great military leaders in the past but their troops were nothing more than breathing chess pieces, cannon fodder. The kids today are smarter and more dedicated than soldiers, sailors, and Marines of even a decade ago. Many of them joined after 9/11 and know full well what they are getting into. They still have the patriotism, the bravery, the honor, to want to serve.
As a salty old geezer, I’m extreeeeeemly jealous of each and every one of those little pissants! They are writing history with their blood and sweat. They will be revered and looked upon with awe (at least by those of us who understand) for the sacrifice they are making and the world they are shaping. The pride I feel for each and every one of those young warriors makes me misty-eyed.
Make no mistake. These kids are warriors in the truest sense. Deadly killers, honorable fighters, merciful victors. Regardless of the service, the professionalism and honor I’ve seen has restored my faith in the youth of today…or at least those that are mature enough to realize that freedom must be protected.
Frank add your Red “IMAO” where ‘Nuke’ is on the NTM logo and the words ‘A realistic blog for world domination’ and you got yourself a logo.
Hey, I won that award too, Frank, and I’m not even American. Booyah.
Former Hostage, I really wanted to add something to your post, but frankly it’s so damn good, I got nothing.
I’ve got quite a few friends at Ft. Hood (most are deployed) – they are the best. God Bless them all.