STARRING
Tony Pentin as The Limey
Frank J. as American Frank
Created by Stupiud Bastrad Productions
Broadcast by the BBC
Logo by Tom Bux of The Nap Room
Previous Episodes:
Episode I: The Limey
Episode II: Return of The Limey
Episode III: The Red Letter
Episode IV: Jokes and Murder
Episode V: The Lime Turns Sour
Episode VI: Bloody Fascism
Episode VII: Lime Another Day
Episode VIII: The Good, the Bad, and the Limey
In order to meet broadcast standards and make this appropriate for The Children™, all profanity has been dubbed over. Also, an inappropriate reference to American Frank’s and a reader’s mother (“mum” in his words) have each been dubbed over with something completely different.
As we join The Limey, he has now accepted the newly dubbed “Socialist Frank” and writes a letter of congratulations:
Hello ronin. Do you like the red background? [Ed note: This, as most of his previous, was sent with a red background] I will start this email by praising the continued had work and dedication of the democratic left-of-centre coalition which I lead. XTREME ONE, Carl, The Spanish Militant and Johnny Depp won’t be bullied by the thugs on your website, ronin. Seeing as there is no chance that you will stop referring to me as “The Limey” in your responses, then I will continue to refer to you as Frank the ronin. Patooey on you!
I recommend you and your fellow monsters visit Cardiff City Football Club’s official website. There you and your isolated ronin friends will see a true sport. A sport superior to that terrible baseball. Everyone knows that baseball is a rip-off of rounders. Have you and the other right-wing Americans even heard of rounders? I doubt it. Most of the conservatives and fascists over there can’t even locate France on a map and those same conservatives and fascists haven’t even got a brain! Not all Americans are ignorant, racist or stupid though, ronin. There are lots of good Americans. From brilliant political people like Michael Moore and Gore Vidal to great bands like Green Day, Offspring, Audioslave and the now disbanded Rage Against the Machine. And we can’t forget how beautiful women like Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Beyonce are. And we can’t forget Alicia Silverstone (especially when she was younger!). But I have to say I ! can’t stand these women’s music. But they are great to look at! It’s just a shame that vicious newspapers like the Wall Street Journal (I bet the ronin knows the editor) have to make out that people like Michael Moore don’t exist and are in a minority. That’s propaganda, ronin. That’s one of the things Rage Against the Machine protested about. Don’t believe me, ronin? Well go and buy one of their albums.
And another thing. Maybe I should remind those ignorant, racist, middle-class, stupid, sexist, homophobic, greedy, patriotic, brainwashed, right-wing, uncultured fanatics on your site (whose also go on simonworld.mu.nu and pretend to be me!) [Ed note: he’s refering to this] THAT I AM FROM ENGLAND! Not WALES! Wales is a good country but I am from ENGLAND! Some fascists in your “comments” section a couple of days ago were talking as if I was from Wales. Many thanks to my coalition members for informing me of their ignorance. Are you from CANADA Frank the ronin? No! And I know you’re not. You’re an isolated, toothless backwoodsman in the deep south who has never talked to a black person. That’s why I don’t say you’re from Canada! I think, no yucky-boo it, I know you would be offended if I said you were Canadian so your friends should shut their flippy-dippy mouths and get to their doctor quickly! Maybe their depression is getting worse. They’re depressed that your stupid president is going to lose the elect! ion in November. Their neurosis is getting worse by the hour.
I hate your sarcasm on the last response, ronin. I could see you were about to call me a “you know what” also known as George W. Bush’s middle name. I never fell for your trick – I knew you hadn’t changed, ronin. I remember in one of the earlier responses you tried to get me to read one of your fascist poems. That didn’t work either!
I couldn’t imagine you the redneck promoting left-of-centre values. Jesus! I’ll probably have nightmares of that one day! I’m glad that you unbanned the coalition from posting on your boring website, ronin. But you know what ronin? You dishonorable ronin! You shouldn’t have floopy-snoopy banned them in the first dag’burn place you ronin. That’s my coalition you ronin! Don’t you ever wacky-smacky do that hippy-dippy thing ever a-floofengoogle-gain! You fascist ronin! That’s an attack on democracy you ronin! Yucky-boo you! Did you ban the Spanish Militant cos he’s not from America? That’s not fair. A Spanish person shouldn’t have their rights crushed by some vicious bastard!
Seeing as you hate the French I thought I would educate you with three reasons for you to LIKE the French…
1, They are excellent at soccer (as you call it)
2, Have you ever had some red wine from France? Get some Bordeaux wine down you! It’ll make a change from having your two-toed sloth dance on a barstool!
3, Unlike you and your fascist friends, the French know the capital cities of major countries.
If I wanted a joke I’d ask you the capital of Norway!
It’s OSLO by the way.
OSLO.
O-S-L-O.
OSLO…There you are. You’re learning now.
Oh and the capital of your country is Washington. No Frank it’s not near Oklahoma!!!!!!!!!! Washington is a long, long way from the bigots of rural Texas. It’s on the east coast. There you go! No not Seattle, Washington! That Washington is a state in the west! Kurt Cobain was from there. You don’t know who Nirvana was! Oh I give up!
I was not too young to remember reviews of Falling Down! Stop that patronising flibberty-gibble! I am twenty years old. I don’t know how old you are and don’t really care but I do know that your views on the death penalty, abortion, poverty, racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia and gypsies and many other things are very, very old. You are embarassingly right-wing. Did you know that?
YOU’RE AN EMBARASSMENT. GROW UP!
I see some of the fools on your website were pretty unhappy last week when they didn’t get a mention along with the stupid idiots known as Adam, Sarah K, Sandor at the Zoo and Liberty Bob.
So here’s some other evil reactionaries who deserves a good beating…
IT’S NAME AND SHAME TIME…
DAVE IN TEXAS
There you go, ronin you got a mention. This guy is a big time ronin. Along with Frank, this crazy farmer likes nothing better than having a two-toed sloth dance on a barstool! This freak lives on incest. His sister is also his granny! This maniacs philosophy to foreign afairs is embarassingly narrow-minded…
“If it’s not American then bomb it!”
Frank when you got to the doctor, get this guy an appointment!
TOOTHLESS REDNECK
Another nutcase. So crazy that when he was in high-school and his teacher asked him what their ambition was in life, he said…
“To bomb Canada in the name of God!”
An interesting thought: Maybe this creep is toothless cos he was a victim of U.S. privatization of dentists. It’s something worth considering.
STICKY B
Another contender for 2004 Idiot of the Year. What a terrible name to use on the net!
ROCKYNOGGIN
Stupid name. Nearly as bad as Sandor at the Zoo. Sandor at the Zoo – what the smuckers does that mean?
CLANCY
This bastard is more racist than an American soldier in 1960’s Vietnam. Didn’t take too kindly to Mr. Depp using his/her name and pretending to join the coalition. This freak needs beating ti death with his/her own shoes! Yucky-boo you Clancy! Ronin!
Anyway seeing as you like wrestling (I know because you have Smackdown written on the image above every one of my emails) and that’s one of the few things I have in common with you, I’d like to express my delight at the two heavyweight champions in W.W.E. at present.
Eddie Guerrero…
A Mexican. (Frank the ronin won’t like a foreigner having the world title. And a foreigner who used to have a drug problem. Religious Frank and his church-going friends won’t approve of this) Shame that the system – with all the politics at W.W.E. had to make him conform to the ancient stereotypes. When are you right-wing Americans going to grow up? I bet you and all the other on your site that follow wrestling actually think that all Mexicans lie, cheat and steal.
Chris Benoit…
A Canadian. About time this guy had the heavyweight title. I was starting to think it would never happen.
Atleast it pisses you off to see two foreigners having so much success.
I’m gonna go now, ronin. I’ll let you get back to masturbating over the flag of the United States! But you’ll hear from me again soon. No doubt about it. I’ll email you when it pleases me. You see I do what I want when I want and there’s not a damn thing you or your friends can do about it!
SATURDAY 1ST MAY 2004 IS MAYDAY!
THE PEOPLE’S DAY!
DEMOCRACY NEEDS TO BE INSTALLED ACROSS THE WORLD!
REGIMES LIKE BUSH AND BLAIR’S OVERTHROWN!
THE AMERICAN FLAG BURNT!
CAPITALISM WILL SUFFER!
MCDONALDS WILL SUFFER!
THE PEOPLE WILL SPEAK!
WE WILL RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE!
FIGHT THE SYSTEM!
THE RED SOCIALIST FLAG WILL FLY!
REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION! REVOLUTION!
SATURDAY 1ST MAY 2004!
American Frank, enthralled by his acceptance by The Limey, further proclaims his continued resolve to support socialism in his backwoods home:
Yay! It’s limey! I’m glad you’re so happy with me becoming a socialist. How can I make my e-mails red like yours to show my solidarity? Anyway, praise to XTREME ONE, Carl, Spanish Militant, and Christian Slater! They are my brothers in the socialist uprising and totally not just made up!
I have looked up this Cardriff team, limey, and am very impressed with their metric football abilities. I’m still worried that evil capitalistic baseball people will hit them with their bats. And I have not heard of rounders. I feel foolish and ignorant and less socialist for it. I shall look up rounders and start a rounders team at work…. wait, two teams! Then we can play each other in the cornfield. Does rounders have checking in it? I like hitting people.
One of these days I will find France on a map and be smart like Michael Moore and Gore Vidal (is he related to Al Gore?). And praise the radical leftist revolutionary music of Green Day! To us will be left all of America’s hot women. I’ll take Britney Spears, and you, limey, can have Christina Aguilera because I think she’s skanky.
I won’t buy any of Rage Against the Machine’s albums, though, limey, as that will only support capitalism. I do have their song from the end of the Martix, though.
WAKE UP!
WAKE UP!
That song really speaks to me… especially in the morning.
And I know you don’t live in a wale, limey; that’s silly. Pinocchio was once in a wale, though. Served him right for being a product of the capitalistic Geppetto. And it would be silly to say I live in Canada; only meese live there. It’s basically a barren wilderness where we store our toxic waste. No person could possibly survive there.
And I did talk to a black person just today. I said, “Hey, black person.” He’s my boss. I found out from him that black people don’t like it if you make fun of Aquaman. I also wrote a letter to Condoleezza Rice. She’s black too! I’ll make sure not to mention Aquaman to her.
I don’t know what sarcasm you’re talking about or what word you think I’m going to call you, limey. I’m a serious committed socialist, and you know that. To prove it, watch this:
Yay socialism!
Would a capitalist have written that? No way. And it’s good you didn’t read that fascist poem “The Jabberwocky”. It would have fascitized you faster than you could say “Callooh! Callay!” It was penned by Fascist McFascist himself while eating the apricots he denied his starving peasants. We, the socialist revolutionaries, will hunt down Fascist McFascist and make him pay! He will have eaten his last apricot, by gumbo! We will burn all his poems too! Let’s burn lots of things! Not rocks, though, because they don’t burn well.
And I’m sorry my old capitalistic self banned your friends who are definitely not just you posting under different names. It will never happen again that I am now an uber-socialist! And praise to France and their metric football abilities. If only more of the world listened to them, we’d have much more cheese!
Wow! I never even heard of Norway, and now I know its capital! You are so kind to teach me all these new things, limey. I have a friend named Oslo; I’ll have to ask him if he’s from Norway. Then I’ll punch him for being a capitalist! Be angry at the machine!
I know Kurt Cobain! He blew his brains out with a shotgun! That’s hard! If you hold a shotgun to your head, limey, it’s a long reach to the trigger. You could saw off the barrel, but then you’d have an illegal sawed-off shotgun. Boy would you be in trouble then.
I knew you were twenty years old, limey; your maturity shows through in your elegant prose about socialism.
I’m sorry my website has attracted so many horrible bad people who are capitalists. I would ban them, but they are mean and scary! What do I do, limey my friend? I want to be a socialist revolutionary, but some capitalists are scary! Scarier than Aquaman!
Are you sure you didn’t make up those two wrestlers, limey? I think you sometimes make up names. That’s okay, because even the made up people support our socialist revolution!
Well, limey, I’m glad you’ve accepted me as one of your revolutionaries. I can’t wait until May 1st for capitalism to fall! Until then, keep up the fight in your home in Wales.
Revolutionarily,
Socialist Frank
P.S. I wrote you a poem:
Why do I fight fascism?
Am I courageous enough to succeed?
Never will I quit!
Kill all those who oppose us!
Every capitalist must fall!
Right will give us might!
I hope you liked it even though it was free verse. Viva la revolution!
Will American Frank continue to be hypnotized by the wiles of socialism? Will The Limey further encourage him? What will happen on May 1st? Find out in the continuing adventures of…
THE LIMEY!
I wonder: are there any other ridiculous metric sports out there in Old Europe?
Some would argue that Formula One is “metric racing” compared to CART ChampCar and NASCAR: no action but the same rabid, frothing fans as metric football.
Me, I’m glad we really do have a sport that involves checking in this continent. Even if we had to pretty much take it from Canadia.
WOW! I didn’t realize that Cardiff City was mid-table in the 1st Division. BANNER year for them! (note: 1st division is equivalent to AAA baseball).
Baseball purists (like me) know that the game was divised from a form of rounders or ‘town ball.’
Hey, Limey, did you know that your precious ‘football’ was derived from the Chinese? It was called Tsu Chu. Look it up.
France has seaports on both the Atlantic and Mediterranean. Borders with Italy, Spain, Andorra, Monte Carlo, Switzerland, Luxembourg and Belgium. They have stinky cheese and stinkier people.
Yes, the women you mentioned are great to look at unlike the vast majority of the dentaly-impaired women of your little island (except for my English Rose of a wife). Inbreeding does have its drawbacks, doesn’t it?
How is being patriotic connotated to racist?
If you’re from England, as you say, why support a Welsh football team? No team in your own country to support? Have a hard-on for men in shorts with red hair and names like Evans and Davies?
A redneck promoting left-of-centre values? Two names for you: Clinton and Gore.
The French:
1. Brazil rolled over for them in 1998
2. Try a nice California Zinfandel (1998 was a great year. I prefer any from the Ridge winery)
3. They know capital cities of major countries where they’ve surrendered from, that’s for sure!
Wow! You’re twenty years old, from the UK and know how to type! You must be in an accelerated learning course! Congratulations! Bet you’re happy Maggie Thatcher closed all those terrible mines up North, aren’t you?
I’m not upset that I didn’t get a mention. I would have loved to have gotten together with you two weeks ago while I was in your fair nation to discuss the world in general.
Anyway, have a Happy May Day while dancing around the May Pole in your Morris Dancing costume! (BTW: I don’t think those outfits look all that gay no matter what everyone else thinks!)
I woulda swore he couldn’t be older than 13!
First: Frank, never leave out the “Wanker.” It is key to the entire farce.
Second: Ban him, and have done. I laughed as hard as anyone at the first six or seven episodes, but this guy is just getting boring and (ever more) abusive. Your replies are (of course) awesome, but it’s getting harder and harder to read through his drivel, and still be in the mood for Frank hilarity.
My two cents.
(This is my first comment, though I have been reading here for four months or so. It’s a great site – kudos to you!)
Hey, lets dial down the Brit jokes, ‘kay? We’re not all rabid mentalists.
…Or are we?
Muahahahahahahaha.
Lazarus,
Did I leave out the “wanker”? I’m almost sure I put it in there…
ALLRIGHT!!!! I feel complete now, thanks Limey. Although all I got was a comment that my name was stupid… nothing about my military service to the forces of Capitalism, Greed and Darkness.
And, by the way, I DO know the capitals of major countries: America’s (North and South) is Washington, D.C. (the D.C. stands for Doctor of Captialism as George W. Washington was known by his friends and slaves). Europe’s capital is London, the capital of Asia is Sydney and I think Africa has a capital but I don’t remember (and it’s not really a major country after all).
By the way, Brittney Spears is from my state – a place reportedly chock-a-block full of toofless rednecks. I think Brittney is toofless too, but just has some really fancy dentures. At least she’s toofless in my dreams!
Frank, I’m inspired – how do I convert to Sociology?
I can’t believe an English person had something bad to say about American Dentistry.
After Iowa has occupied France and taught them to pronounce the last letters on thier words (and have hosed them down a bit), maybe we can occupy Britain and introduce oral hygiene.
Whoops; I meant to make a point about that too. A limey insulting our dental care is one of the wackiest things he has done so far.
Little known fact:
Washington is the capitol of the USA, and Seattle is the capitol of Washington. So the real capitol of the USA is Seattle.
Yours truly,
Jeffrey Boulier
–Wow… snubbed again.
–Big time congrats to those of you who made the cut this time. This is kinda like reverse American Idol… waiting to see who will be named next. Well, it’s a little like that, anyway.
–“Don’t you ever wacky-smacky do that hippy-dippy thing ever a-floofengoogle-gain!” …holy, crap, Frank… that one almost killed me!
Wow, I almost said your “wanker” was great, then thought that might be taken wrong. Anyway, I didn’t think you could top last week’s crossword-answer “wanker”, but you did! I’m sorry I ever doubted you, O Great Frank J.
(Okay, the subtle approach did not work… must try direct action.)
–Dear Limey,
I was disheartened to see that I failed to get mention in your latest epistle. I have tried to be a good fascist loudmouth, but I guess it just wasn’t enough. So, I will give you a little background on myself in the hope that it will push me over the edge of notoriety.
I am recently retired from twenty years service in the United States Marine Corps. Realizing that I was a maladjusted civilian, I quickly got back into the game, and now I train Special Ops teams that protect nuclear materials for the U.S. Government. (Surely THAT has to piss you off?)
Regarding your “May Something-Or-Other” plans: I fought for the rights of Americans- even if that meant the right for them to burn the flag (however, that right would never stand up if anyone tried to do it in front of me). The flip side of that is that I would go out of my way to beat bloody senseless ANY for’ner who EVER tried to burn my flag. You see, our rights definitely do not extend to you, dear limey.
In closing, let me assure you that I am every bit as capitalistic and hateful as the others you have mentioned in your lovely letters. Please give me another look, and I’m confident that you will hate me nearly as much as I hate you.
Most Sincerely,
Devil Dog
P.S. Don’t forget to die.
Oslo, capitol of Norway – a country with a population of roughly 4 million. Let’s see, Minnesota, Louisiana, Alabama, Colorado, Kentucky and South Carolina have each have roughly the same population. Wonder if the 20 year old boy genius has any idea what their capitols are without going to the Internet. England’s population is roughly 49 million, which is about the combined population of California and Texas (how do they fit that many people on such a tiny island in comparison to the size of CA and TX). Oh, well. So much for geography.
As one of the most unusually-named posters to this awesome site, I’m disheartened that I didn’t garner a name mention either in the Limey’s letter.
Maybe next time 🙁
Eddie Guerrero is not Mexican. He was born in El Paso Texas. Also, he is pushing 60 years old and is in absolutely astonishing physical condition. Chris Benoit kicks ass, unlike most canuckistanians.
Woooooooooooooo!
I’ve been to Oslo. Their hamburgers taste funny.
And France… France… let’s see… How would I find that place? Oh yeah! I’ll just follow my nose.
I gotta agree with Lazarus.. I love frank’s responses, but I could barely wade through The Limey’s post.
On a separate note, I think Frank should come up with a “In the Limey’s World” thread. It could be the events of May 1st, where all the wanker limeys start a revolution, then realize that 10 people won’t overthrow a country..
Oops, a line got cut from that..
10 people won’t overthrow a country, especially when 5 of them (Tony the wanker, Johnny “wankin it” Depp, Carl the wanker, xtreme wanker, and the Spanish Wankerilitant) are the same person.
WOW The Limey knows about Canada. Why does he watch wrestling though? Surely he sees it as a dumb fake American sport?
He sure seems to know a lot of American cultural heroes for someone who hates America so much.
Here are some more great Canadian Wrestlers.
Lance Storm
Edge
Brett (the Hitman) Hart
Owen Hart
Chris Jericho
Crazy Sailor White (WWF Tagteam Champ as “Moondog” in the early 80’s)
Dino Bravo (born in Italy but lived all his life in Montreal)
John Tenta (The Canadian Earthquake)
Jacques Rougeau (fought under the name “Mountie”)
there are probably others.
Frank speaking of body checking are you cheering for the Tampa Bay Lightning?
GO LEAFS GO!!!
<joke>I thought the capital of Norway was Norway City!</joke>
Woooo Hooo!!! I finally got a mention!!!!
Excuse me while I go beat myself with a shoe. Wait. What the heck does that mean? I mean, who hits people with a shoe? That’s not right, man.
“Washington is the capitol of the USA, and Seattle is the capitol of Washington. So the real capitol of the USA is Seattle.”
Wouldn’t that be Olympia?
I’ll admit…I can not point to France on a map. Everytime I try, it runs away in fear.
Devil Dog,
Do you train people with AL-150s?
Limey,
“Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your kind makes me puke! You’re a vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!”
“Stupid git!”
Not to mention wanker.
Frank,
I second the motion for am IMW for the Limey.
sam
Awww. Damn. The Limey is older than I am!
I guess since he’s my elder I have to respect him and all his wisdom.
Yeah…that’s exactly what I’ll do.
/sarcasm
Frank:
Keep up the good work. The limey is too good to ban.
Well, Florida is about as deep South as you can get…
I think he was referring to me with that Wales comment, all that talk about Cardiff, I just assumed, silly me. Besides I misquoted the movie quote from trainspotting intentionally substituting Scotland for Wales.
I thought tolerance and diversity were hallmarks of the left, he doesn’t sound very tolerant or appreciative of diversity.
I didn’t know the inventor of Vidal Sassoon hair care products was so revered by the left.
By the way, Jessica Simpson has expressed support for GWB, not that an endorsement from that Rhodes scholar is anything to cheer about.
Ouch! The Limey is the same age as me! Lucky Frank shows him/it what-for! Applauds
He should also single me out and my evil Australian blog. He’s discriminating against me, and not allowing Socialist Frank to share the traffic around equally, etc.
Australians are filthy capitalists too, you know!
I’m seconding those folks who think this has gone on far enough. If the guy had anything remotely interesting to say, he would have said it by now. I suppose it’s possible Frank’s going for the “monkeys at typewriters” effect (1000 monkeys at 1000 typewriters eventually produce Shakespeare) but knowing how much Frank hates monkeys…
By the way, two quick notes. Ever notice how racist lefties are? I’m from Texas, and that automatically makes me a toothless redneck- unless I pass a stringent ideological litmus test. (Maybe that should be regionalist- Texans aren’t really a race…)
Second, is there a possibility that this guy’s just yanking our chain? I mean, he’s so over-the-top and moronic that I begin to express doubt that someone who really thinks like that could survive his first few years of life (much less twenty). If so, then Frank should definitely discontinue this feature.
Au revoir
Limey,
It’s funny that you support the Michael Moores, the Green Days and Rage Against the Machines – since they exploit our capitalistic system in order to make millions of dollars for themselves with which they buy mansions and fast cars. If they truly lived by what they spewed, they shouldn’t be taking a dime from us.
Wrestling? Another capitalist forum you support. Christ, I can find better TV than that without turning the TV on. Man, you’re as hypocritical as every socialist/democrat is – congratulations for being MEDIOCRE!
It’s also crazy that you mock our privatised systems. What’s funny is that you don’t realize that if my ‘rednecked, toofless’ ass had a tooth pain, I could see a dentist within a week. Apparently what you fail to realize is that your tooth, in your system, would fall out (or become all crooked, like the rest of your teeth already – so in a sense I guess a lost tooth would be a good thing) while waiting for 3 months to actually get through to a dentist, and another 2 years to get your appointment.
You called us patriotic among sexist, stupid, and fascist. All I can say is – thanks – you wanker.
A note about France. I am glad you ask us to like them based on soccer, wine, and intelligence. I mean hell, I guess I’ve been looking at it all wrong. I usually base my ‘liking’ of other countries on whether or not they are back-stabbing socialist Iraq lovers who will do anything to oppose the US, but from now on I’ll sip my Bordeaux and say – ‘damn, those smelly frogs had it right all along’
In closing, I’d ask you to stick to your ideals – because those are the ideals that will eventually get you shot.
Dan
PS – Die
PPS – Preferably while eating a crumpet
I’m internationally famous. w00t.
“Does rounders have checking in it? I like hitting people.”….excellent!
LUFC rules!
A bunch of small European countries, each no more important than the any given US state. All of Europe togeather is marginally as significant as the US. So I don’t feel like taking any grief about European capitals unless the griefer can do US state capitals.
Because, you need to understand something about the US. It’s made (mostly) of European immigrants. We happened to have finished our EU equivilent (the US, you may have heard of it). The US -is- the EU superstate of french, english, germans, italians – only done right, and 200 years ago. And we don’t call our members countries, we call them states.
We were kinda tired of the way things were over there so we left and came here.
I’d also like to point out that that music is provided for you entertainment. If you think it’s some deep philosophical musing, may I suggest you get a clue. If the deepest thoughts you have are stolen from song lyrics, I am truly unimpressed.
Bring it commie. Bring it. You think you have the numbers, start up your revolution. I don’t have time to take off work to deal with your mindless rambling, but if you’d just declare a real revolution, we could put it down properly.
So bring it, don’t sing it. It’s easy to talk brave. You think your putting your neck out posting on the internet? My guns are oiled and polished, and I’m tired of hearing you talk.
Europeans are good at talking. Americans get it done. Put up or shut up, you W-A-N-K-E-R.
Why does the limey repetitively say that he’s “left of centeR?” I don’t know about you, but I’d say he’s not exactly center. Usually center means the following:
-You don’t hate the right-of-center as much as you would if you were far left
-You don’t presistently try to convert people to socialism (which isn’t exactly a centrist thing)
-You’re in the middle
Haha…Limey, what a gas!
The part about someone in the States having bad teeth…I wonder what country’s teeth he is comparing our teeth to? Certainly not ENGLAND! Turn on any show on BBC and you will know the dentist left a long time ago. It’s a wonder if any private dentists do exist in England, what with a large part of the population on the dole…Finding business wouldn’t be hard, but no one would be able to pay.
spark21
I don’t see his age on there anywhere. I’m puzzled.
I personally am beginning to tire of this wanker. As well as his comments about Texans…. he seems to be the narrow minded one, still thinking we are all toofless rednecks who ride around on horses and shoot at indians… And the fact that this wanker is a year older than me… really suprises me.
When I was very young, I memorized Jabberwocky and performed it as a play, along with my sister. I guess that makes me a born fascist.
And does Florida really count as the Deep South? I always thought of it as more of a transplant from somewhere else that happened to be located there. Of course, I’ve never been there. I do know what its capital is though.
I’m trembling with fear about May 1st, let me tell you. Democracy across the world sounds terrible – oh wait, isn’t that what we’re trying to do already? How exactly is overthrowing the current government conducive to democracy unless said current government is an evil dictator?
he seems to be the narrow minded one, still thinking we are all toofless rednecks who ride around on horses and shoot at indians…
The correct word was injuns
And I’m a year younger than him, apparently. Does it show?
Let us not forget about the “Book of British Smiles” from the Simpsons, everyone.
Umm.. Frank, you don’t feel that way about us Mexican Americans, do you?
Wow,
Talk about falling off the deep end.
“You see I do what I want when . . .”
The first thing that came to mind was picturing Cartman sitting at a computer saying – whatevah, I do what I want. This really is pathetic.
I see the famous sign-off, just have to look at it a different way. Try reading in a vertical fashion. Nice Job Frank.
France is an easy place to find on a map. It’s the yellow one.
…Oops, forgot to address the Texas part:
I am also from a small town in Texas (just south of Austin), and therefore are toofless and such.
I wonder how he will start a revolution from England? Surely he could get to the USA, but how would he attack? British subjects are RARELY ALLOWED TO OWN FIREARMS…I, on the otherhand, could take over almost any Eurotrash country with nothing more than my personal arsenal, my neighbor Jimmy Bob, and few friends with air dropped pickup trucks.
spark21
What?! I can’t believe the Limey still didn’t mention me! Argh!! Looks like I’ll hafta send him another email. Heeheehee.
-The Real Conservative Carl
aka The Half-Elven Commie Slayer
Is it just me, or does the Limey’s writing seem a bit different in this one?
I wonder if he got one of his friends to do it because he was busy. Ya know, when one personality just doesn’t have time…
Or maybe cough Frank is putting us up a bit? cough
😀 j/k Frank.
Oh, and Limey? Yes, you, you morally bankrupt, historically ignorant, obviously racist, delusional little mofo:
G-E-T A C-L-U-E!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Limey Stompin’ moosic – “Beat On the Brat” by the Ramones
“with a baseball bat
oh yeah oh yeah
oh o o”
ohhhh Yummy gooey Limey brains
France is a major country?
LoL. The limey has finally descended into self-parody… O_o
Well, I started out reading it but my eyes glazed over. I learned he’s Welsh, though.
Yucky boo me?? Yucky boo you. You flippy dippy ronin wanker!!!
Just wanted try some politically correct cursing like the Limey does… Man…. that felt good.I guess I really told him. Maybe now I will get an honorable mention in his next email.
Frank you must snap out of the trance socialism has cast over you. Soon you will become fat and ugly like Michael Moore.
He’s insulting us Americans.
Of course we know what “Rounders” is–it’s a very good poker movie starring Matt Damon.
Wow. Toothless rednecks? Privatised dental system. Don’t trust people who don’t know when to spell something with a “z”. Wow, the british sure are lucky. Maybe one day we’ll have the wonderful smiles they all have.
MD2020,
I thought that was the name of that movie…
Do you think the Limey posts under different names because the poor lil’ fella doesn’t have any friends?
I bet since he posts with different names he probably talks to himself also.. Johnny Depp talks like a pirate, Xtreme Wanker talks like a skater/x gamer, Spanish Militant talks, well, like a spainiard, and Carl (the commie one) talks like Harrison Ford in K-19, with a really really bad russian accent.
I just sent the Limey the following email:
Hey there, Limey!
How has it been with you lately? Does the blue font I used to write this email come through to your computer? I think blue is a wonderful color…reminds me of the freedom of the cloudless blue sky! Someone once told me it was a capitalist color too, so that’s kind of cool! 🙂
I was just writing to say I enjoyed your latest piece of wondrous political wisdom, posted on the blog of our mutual friend Frank J. I’m interminably amazed on how you drive your points home with such cohesive, perspicacious sagacity.
Wow, maybe it was sophomoric of me to just endeavor to use such sesquipedalian words. Those things are precarious for injudicious, bucolic capitalists like me to run around with, aren’t they, Limey? Maybe it’s like running around in circles with scissors or something.
Oh, and just so you know, just because someone disagrees with you, it doesn’t make him a dim, uneducated country boy from the Deep South. As a matter of fact, I’m a bright, educated country boy from western Massachusetts. Do you know where Massachusetts is, Limey? Yeah, you’d probably like my state nowadays…unfortunately, it’s overrun with tax-hiking, terrorist-appeasing leftists like yourself. (Oh, horrors! I used the word “leftist” without a capital letter!)
But it hasn’t always been like that. Do you know what happened in my state in 1775, Limey? It’s anniversary is coming up on the 19th of this month. That’s right! It’s the blessed anniversary of when my warmongering ancestors finally decided they would take out their privately owned firearms and rise up against the tyrannical Limey government that wouldn’t stop taxing them and bossing them around!
The Limey regulars ran from us! They ran from American farmers! They ran from stupid right-wing fanatics! We left over 70 Limey corpses lying on the roads between Lexington and Concord that day! Yeah! Die, Limeys, die! Ha ha ha!
Also, I think it’s really inconsiderate of you to go and steal my name to use as an alias for one of your schizoid personalities. To top it off, I sent you an email a little while ago that contained some evil fascist capitalist lyrics. And despite both of these things, I don’t get a mention by you on your list of most hated and feared rivals. To paraphrase your corpulent, flatulent buddy Michael Moore, I must say “Shame on you, Mr. Pentin! Shame on you!”
Anyway, Limey I got to go and get some work done now…something that lethargic socialist drones know nothing about. I should let you get back to your wanking over all your pictures of Marx, Stalin, Ho Chi Minh, etc.
With warm regards,
Carl
a.k.a. The Half-Elven Commie Slayer
Awesome. I’m psyched that there’s other people my age reading here. Viva la Young Republicans!
Hi Limey!
Its cute how you carry on like your opinion matters.
And you setup alternative rock groups as your idols. Everyone knows that the worlds most brilliant thinkers record the most brilliant thoughts in alternative rock lyrics….
Anyway, I would rage at you and tell you you’re pathetic, but that would take too much of my time( as a capitalist, I need to get back to making MONEY)
Anyway, Enjoy your dreary English day!
Later
–Nice letter, Carl… maybe I should have considered complaining directly to the limey myself instead of posting my complaint here. I share your bitterness at being left out of the latest limey-gram.
–Again, limey… I implore you to reconsider leaving out stalwart and very hateable fascist killers such as Carl and me. We ARE worthy of your contempt and hatred… we really are!! Stop being so limely obstinate and get your little socialistic fingers typing on your next email to Frank (which will include references to those of us you wrongfully left out).
I noticed that the Limey mentioned Cardiff’s metric football team again. I don’t know anything about their metric football teams, but I remember when I wasplaying rugby and going to college in the Redneck State, a Cardiff rugby club came to one of the tournaments we played in. Long story short, we started playing college side and were winning, but at the end of the game, we were playing the men’s side and lost. The moral of the story is that Limeies can’t win unless they cheat. And yes, I am waiting for that random day in May to come so that I can beat socialists to a bloody pulp when they come to take my guns and money.
Bwahahahaha……that guy is one crybaby primadonna bitch!!!! Hey! idiot, the real facist is you for supporting the terrorist who work hard at destroying idividualism. Listening to bands like rage and audioslave doesn’t make you different, it just makes you a teenybopper loser idiot who does what millions of other moron teenybopper losers are doing….keep jerking of to that picture of Stalin you sick freak!!!
Wow. The limey has enlightened me. I never realized that we Americans were so lacking in intelligence that we couldn’t find France on a map.
But if I had to hazard a guess, I would say right between ‘Newly socialized Spain’ and ‘Damn-we-should-have-let-them-have-it Germany’.
Might not be able to find it on a map, but I’m sure that we can find it with an missile or two.
So the French no the capitals of Major countries do they? Do they know the capitals of worthless countries like . . . oh, lets say FRANCE?
“I do know that your views on the death penalty, abortion, poverty, racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia and gypsies and many other things are very, very old.”
I’m curious as to what his views on ageism are. And I’m so glad he brought up the gypsies. They are becoming such an overwhelming problem all across the United States. We must turn to the Limey’s infinte wisdom snicker in order to better understand them. Nothing bothers us Americans more than gypsies (except maybe the French, and the Limey).
Hehe. I loved this part.
DEMOCRACY NEEDS TO BE INSTALLED ACROSS THE WORLD!
THE RED SOCIALIST FLAG WILL FLY!
Now forgive me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this two steps in opposite directions? The last time I checked, the ‘Red Socialist’ flag wasn’t flying over a Democracy.
Personally, I can’t wait until we get another ‘enlightening’ episode from the worlds foremost socialist.
Limey isn’t funny anymore. Sigh.
Jonag said
France is an easy place to find on a map. It’s the yellow one.
yeah and it looks like a running dog
damn!! still no mention of myself!! i wonder if it will ever happen… maybe im not rednecky-enough. i need to renew my NRA subscription and buy a new gun. yeah! thats the ticket! a new gum!! mmmmmmm…. gun…….
damn!! still no mention of myself!! i wonder if it will ever happen… maybe im not rednecky-enough. i need to renew my NRA subscription and buy a new gun. yeah! thats the ticket! a new gum!! mmmmmmm…. gun…….
I licked a lime today and it made my mouth pucker.
Gee…I also thought of the limey today, what a little *ucker.
I can’t wait for Patriots Day. A nice walk down town to the battle green and see the re-enactment of the slaying of the red coated limeys.
Lazarus — please use another handle. That’s my real name. Seriously. Especially if you missed the “WANKER”… making me look bad…
Norway — that’s a town in Maine, and they are all white people up there, and they don’t have many dentists. But I didn’t think it had it’s own capital. It’s not a very big town. But the Limey should know about Norway, because it’s in NEW England. I took a boat from there, but I didn’t see any whales. Oh, and it’s close to Canada, too! I went there, but everybody talked funny up there. When I got lost, they wouldn’t even tell me what state I was in! What a bunch of flippy-dippy ronins!
But I know what rounders are — that’s a nasty name to call fat ronins like Michael Moore, as in “Michael Moore is a whole lot rounder than people who live in whales.” People in whales only get like semi-whale-digested fish to eat, so they can’t be very round.
All you folks who want the Limey’s attention, don’t worry yourselves. It’s not really worth the effort. Since the Limey has no value, what could his recognition hold?
BTW: The LibertyBob Psychic Department tells me that May first is the date when, if the Limey behaved and took his medicine, his mother will let him fondle the dog. I guess that’s a big day for him.
We need to gouge out the Limey and his friend’s eyes, tie them together, and march them back to England to teach those other fools a lesson in the tradition of my name sake.
Frank J.–
You are correct. I was trying to be cute.
Technically, a “rounder” is a professional poker player. He makes his living “doing the rounds”, i.e. going from game to game.
Sticky B:
It’s Brazilia, Brazil. I hope I’m not to late to save your from the Wanker’s revenge. Rio is more fun but Brazilia is the capital.
I’m not a capitalist, and I love this site, and I love Frank J, and I hate Socialism, lazy wankers leeching off the system they hate so much. Get a damn job you hippies.
Where the heck do you see his age? I’ve read it like three times.
AH! Found it!
(My excuse is I’m working on an econ project and haven’t been sleeping for three days)
laughs
Wow. I’m only 12, and although I often question my intelligence, the Limey gives me hope. Heck, I’m tons smarter than him, and he’s 8 years older!
I, personally, third the motion for an IMW with the Limey. But that’s just my opinion, and if you disagree, you’re not necessarily Fascist.
heads off
His name pops up in the second paragraph after he unecessarily slowly explains Oslo.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but did the Limey actually use these two sentances in his post?
“DEMOCRACY NEEDS TO BE INSTALLED ACROSS THE WORLD!”
and
“THE RED SOCIALIST FLAG WILL FLY!”
Sounds to me like someone needs to make up their mind and figure out what they are fighting for. Some people love the romanticism of being “revolutionaries” so much that they don’t even care what they are fighting for, so long as they are fighting. I’d say the Limey is a good example of one of those people. And he’s a moron. And he’s only 20, so what the hell does he know?
-Brian (Also from Utah. I just happen to like it here…)
All Americans know where France is. We’ve been there enough.
I’ll never get mentioned 🙁 . Even though my name is even a blatant endorsement of Zionism, and I wrote a story about invading Canada, I still wont ever get mentioned. Grar. I guess I’m too new in these parts.
Oh, and Frank, the magazine wont eject from my PPK, should I actually spend what little money I have on a pro to fix it, or should I go the real American route and shoot it with an even bigger gun? Is there some magic that one can use to conger the spirit of James Bond?
Oh, yeah. Just for the record, I’m a proud member of the Young Fascists/Capitalists, too! 🙂 B-) I’m 19, and turning 20 in July. Sheesh, it’s sad that although the Limey’s about a year older than me, he argues with the intellectual capacity of a kindergartner: when someone disagrees with you, just scream at them really loud. 😀
-The Real Conservative Carl
aka The Half-Elven Commie Slayer
I’m a member of the Young Republicans at my highschool, as well as the Republicans for Nader club. We figure if we can get some of the idiot 18 year olds to vote for Nader, we can split the stupid pinko commie liberal pothead vote. Kinda like Ross Perot did with the rich white guy vote. Remember, a a liberal vote for Nader is a vote for Bush.
Mahatma,
Thanks for the correction. Now that you mention it, I’ve heard that before. I think Brazilia was carved out of the rain forest just to be the national capital. There’s no commercial reason for it’s existence. That makes it similar to DC I guess. I damn well may have missed a couple of others also.
By the way, since we’re on the topic: has anyone tried the new Diet Coke with Lime. It SUCKS worse than regular Diet Coke. And that’s hard to do.
Did he call liberal relativist pluralism “left of centre values”? Wouldn’t the conotation of “values” be one of conserving tradition?
Wait, when were dentists socialized? Did the Russians take over the flouride quarries?
I just did something that every finger-pointing Limey should try at least once: I did a Google search on “British teeth.”
Go see, Limey, it’s fun!
Foreigners suck and canadians can kiss my ass cos boston gave them a womping
Do you wanna know how bad a game rounders is?
My wife left Scotland because they made her play it!!!!!!
N. O’Brain
Imperial Minister of Useless Information
The Limey didn’t mention me? DAMN! Stupid Limey from Wales…I even wrote him a letter and everything.
Hey, I didn’t know Washington was on the east coast! When did they move it? Washington is on the west coast. Now Washington DC is closer to the east coast but still…not reall on the east coast.
Maybe if I go listen to some Rage Against The Diseased the Limey from Wales will mention me in his next letter? I hope so…I look really good in red. HEY! Maybe he keeps spilling his French red wine all over the screen in his excitment to email back his new American friend! Maybe that’s why all his letters have a red background.
That Limey…so silly. Course, I heard all the people in Wales are silly. I guess that’s what happens when you live so close to China.
The “limey” guy has made references to Welsh foootball being so superior to American soccer (as well as other American sports). His e-mails must be in jest and I believe that deep down inside he knows that what he says isn’t true. These “Cardiff” homos that he keeps on praising so much could not go head to head with most American high school soccer teams. People in Wales do not play proper soccer; they do “toe” kicks and are afriad to tackle people in the backfield. Wales goalies usually shirk from danger and turn their heads away when the opposing team takes a shot on goal (it’s true you see it on TV all the time).
I also believe that the “limey” doesn’t play sports he is an “indoors” boy (how else can you explain so much correspondence with IMAO). The “limey” has probably been boob fed by his mammie until he was 10 and the weening period was difficult for his mother. So I would suggest a little more compassion and understanding for said “limey”.
We should all pitch in so he (“limey”)can attend a summer camp for wannabe soccer players in France!
He has a point about Rugby being a mans game, unlike US ‘football.’ (Did he make that point?)
However, this is the only valid point he has made so far, thus the Fellowship will depart soon to end his life.
It will be a hard trek, but the chosen few will have victory!
LET FLY!
The Limey’s moral and ethical highground proves itself yet again!
Limey you little prick. Wht didn
t you mention me? Im more conservative than Ronald Reagan. I eat Rage Against the Machine CDs for breakfast.Oh yeah pinhead, Washington is a state.
Washington D.C. is the Capitol of the United States of Earth.
Cardiff? Isn
t that where they had the Cardiff Giant scam back in the 19th century?re a Peons (Europeans) call soccer football.Where some scientist con man tried to piece together a monkey a gorilla and a man and pass it off as the missing link?
Football RULZ!!! Only pussies and You
We know sports because we, the Mighty U.S. of Earth dominate ALL sports.
The ONLY thing you had going for you was Benny Hill, now he
s dead so youve got nothing.Enjoy your 364 days of rain Limey.
Frank,
We love your site and want to join your fan club.
Please send us the info.
Me too Frank. I want to join also. Don
t listen to Limey, hes full of beans.Don
t listen to Limey Frank. Hes mad because his mum wouldn`t raise his allowance.P.S. Love your site.
Do you think the reason they call it football is to try and associate it with a real sport?
How odd. Three of the members of the limey’s left-of-centre coalition suddenly abandoned said limey? very odd indeed. How is it that they always post at the same time, anyway?
–Curtis, I’m currently in the NoCal area… near the Bay area. My son is in his MOS school at Camp Pendleton, though… and he is going to be stationed there permanently (well, that is until his unit heads East in the fall).
–Training isn’t mine to keep… I receive and pass on every bit of it to worthy folks. Happy to work with a Leatherneck any day of the week!
Frank.. In joining with the Limey and his revolutionaries, I think it would go a long way to please him if you referred to him as “Comrade Limey”
Just an idea 😉
Hey Limey! Glad to see I pissed you off.
“If it’s not American then bomb it!”
I can’t improve upon that.
Oh yeah, bite my bollocks, wanker!
Sticky B,
I improve the taste of Diet Coke with Lime by adding Maker’s Mark (usually two shots to a single can over crushed ice). Very good, and I don’t have to cut up those limes into tiny chunks.
It was awesome.. until you left out “wanker.” Details, Frank, details!
I think The Limey (and his imaginary friends XTREME ONE, Carl, The Spanish Militant and Johnny Depp) is excited about Mayday because he thinks he has a better chance of getting his hands on a Maypole.
Curtis the Marine, The Far Side is still funny, but after seeing it so many times it elicits chuckles not guffaws.
Peace and tolerance through intolerance and violence! Up with the left, down with the right! We are left of center, but if you are right, we will kill you! Mwahahahahahaha! Mwahahahaha!
Stupid redneck, white trash, rural, intolerant, racist, discriminatory fascists. Stalin will rise again!
Peace and tolerance through intolerance and violence! Up with the left, down with the right! We are left of center, but if you are right, we will kill you! Mwahahahahahaha! Mwahahahaha!
Stupid redneck, white trash, rural, intolerant, racist, discriminatory fascists. Stalin will rise again!
Blake, vertical my boy, vertical.
Peace and tolerance through intolerance and violence! Up with the left, down with the right! We are left of center, but if you are right, we will kill you! Mwahahahahahaha! Mwahahahaha!
Stupid redneck, white trash, rural, intolerant, racist, discriminatory fascists. Stalin will rise again!
I feel so foolish. 😮 My first post, and I missed the wanker!
You’re awesome, Frank. I’m going back to lurker status.
well, there are a lot of comments and i don’ t think anyone is still reading, so… I’m 22, spit Diet Coke with Lime all over my flat panel monitor at
“You shouldn’t have floopy-snoopy banned them in the first dag’burn place you ronin. That’s my coalition you ronin! Don’t you ever wacky-smacky do that hippy-dippy thing ever a-floofengoogle-gain!”
and right now i’m listening to “Progenies of the Great Apocalypse” by Dimmu Borgir. I call it Limey Stompin’ Music.
yeah.
Was anybody else put off by his comments about Alicia Silverstone “hotter when she was younger”? Is the Limey a pedophile as well? Just askin’ s’all.
120 comments – Frank, that HAS to be a record? Even subtracting the multi-posts.
Eric, Limey turns his nose up at an older Alicia Silverstone? HA – Limey would PAY for sloppy seconds following a real Capitalist man like Devil Dog (trying to help you out jar-head).
–Rockynoggin… thanks for the plug! At least someone mentions me. Nice bedtime thought… Alicia Silverstone… well, one thing’s for sure: if such a thing came to pass, there is NO way in hell that limey would get anywhere near close enough for any kind of “seconds”- sloppy or otherwise.
–Well, off to sleep… gotta get up early for another day of ragin’ for the machine.
–Goodnite, limey-boy.
I didn’t know other countries had capitals…isn’t there anything they won’t copy us on?
oh, and I think it was someone in the Bible with 2 or more L’s in his name that was swallowed by the wale. Llimey?
isn’t France somewhere in the antartic…oh wait that’s where they hide when dem germans come after em
why is he using baseball to make fun of, they chew and spit out Dip they could kick any europeans butt….
also i doubt any european could beat any american team at anything cept maybe like Northeastern University or some school like that…but i bet their best pro team couldn’t even beat our best college teams.
Plus more foreigners want to play sports here than anywhere…(well except maybe winter sports)
Wasn’t Alicia Silverstone chubby in her “younger” days???
Wow, the Limey is my age……my poor generation
Well, anyway, I love how he places Rage Against The Machine, Michael Moore, and the likes on pedastal as being ideal people (or groups of people). Yep, these people are really, really smart… Yeah, I definitely believe that…. If they actually were worth their salt, then they’d be out trying to change things, but no, they don’t, cause all they do is whine, just like some other people I know……….smelly, cheese-eating surrender monkeys from my favorite country, LOL.
Yes, and let’s get rid of capitalism, it sucks. We don’t need people to make more money than anyone else or for there to be that incentive to work hard. Hmmm…..now where do the majority of the inventions and innovations in this world come from…..wow, that’s a real hard one…..OH, capitalistic nations…..Durr. Yes, let’s have a revolution; viva la revolucion!!! Overthrow capitalism so we can have communism or socialism, cause they work soooo d@mn well.
The limey is such a stupid wanker. But then, anyone who gets their ideology from bands and hollywood types can’t be intelligent.
Just imagine if the Limey ran into a REAL redneck. LOL, we have those back where I’m from. Actually, he might like them, they don’t believe in govt telling them anything, a.k.a. a kind of anarchist, and will shoot any govt people that bug them. Ahh, but they have guns, and he couldn’t like that, and they’d shoot him cause “he dunt speek so darn gud anda musta be one of dem queers dey keap heerin’ ’bout”
Oh, and if you read this limey, explain how anarchy and socialism are compatible, and PISS OFF AND STAY AWAY FROM THE USA
Sandor at the Zoo is a character in “A Fire Upon the Deep” by Vernor Vinge. Sandor is a commercial military organization.
Rockynoggin: if you’re mixing it with Diet Coke with Lime, why bother with Maker’s Mark? Hell, if you’re mixing it at all (other than ice, or maybe a little fresh lime juice), why bother with anything other than a cheap brand? Why pay $20+ for a fifth just to mix it and drown out the taste?
Hint: when mixing, use the $13/half gallon stuff like Early Times, and save the expensive stuff like Maker’s Mark or Gentleman Jack for “sippin’ whisky”
Lazarus – don’t feel bad, but, please find another handle? You’re freaking me out here.
Maddog, the french-owned Target store here sells MM for $17/fifth. Don’t know how they pull that off. (Oh, yes, Target is french/liberal owned. They won’t donate to military or religous groups – check it out)
If I drink the cheap stuff, I get bitter and sullen. Or maybe it’s buttered and swollen. I can’t remember cause I usually black out.
rockadelphia,
I haven’t tried dc/w/lime as a mixer yet. I usually use real coke with my Crown. Life’s to
short to drink cheap whiskey. Minimal hang time with the good stuff.
On the Limey’s idea of democracy:
The left has their own version of democracy which is very different than the civilised world’s understanding. The far left’s idea of democracy is that the majority rules, which is very different than what we have in the US – a representative democracy. These left style democracies are often referred to as people’s democracies or social democracies. China, Cuba and Saddam era Iraq are good examples of these types of democracies which are often one party systems.
This is all part of a larger tactic of the communist philosophy of redefining the language of their opponents to serve their purposes, ie. “social justice”, “fair trade” or my favorite “sustainable development”
thus end the lesson.
Curtis the Marine, I wouldn’t use Pepsi® or any of its deformed offspring to clean battery terminals with. Coca-Cola® is it! But I respect you anyway.
Conrad, Re: Sandor at the zoo.
We are aware of Sandor.
too much great stuff to comment on really. I think this is one of the best limey’s ever. I think socialist frank could be a great satirical character for IMW or something like that. congrats to all the newly honorably mentioned. you have done us all proud. The best is the rant section where he attacks and strangly praises all the commenters. if only he could understand that one simple fact….
WE LIKE BEING IN A COUNTRY THAT KICKS SO MUCH ASS, LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY, THAT WE ONLY NEED INFORMATIONS ABOUT OTHER COUNTRIES THAT IS DIRECTLY PERTINANT TO BLOWING THEM UP.
till heim and people like him realize this i will be content to listen to his lavish compliments.
keep on limin.
adam
with regards to masturbating over the american flag…
that just makes me understand the limey a little more. it has to suck to be non american. and the ludicrous claims by him and all countries that oppose our right to defend our country has got to be alot like masturbation. if they can’t have a country that kicks ass or good families or schools or dental care or anything great that we have. all that is left for them is to whine and scream about how much better they are than us. it’s the mental and political equivalent of jerking off cuz you can’t have the real thing.
P.S. the revenues of every company that makes american flags in this country get taxed and pay for more bullets for limey killin. so keep buyin’ and burnin’ and jerkin’ cuz the magazines need fillin’
Adam
Man stupidity runs rampant outside the U.S. France heh Good at something heh heh. That’s a laugh. And that’s all well and good but wouldn’t France surrender before the action started? Personally I don’t need to know where France is…only the guys who are going to bomb it. Stupid Limey heh heh.
tell me folks how are green day socialists?? they sing about girls their wallets being fat and doing the wanky spanky…ooohhh man the last part is socialist i forgot hehe
rage is just a fun band to listen to if you like hearing people scream and get all funky ye!! now they are just bringing about socialism at its finest aren’t they as they drive their nice cars, live their comfortable lives
-oh wait these people don’t even know what socialism is…oh yeah and they don’t even realize we’re a Republic..plus there’s this monk on fire on one of their cd’s so they are already cool yeah man…tony’s full of it
WANKER SPANKER
As for the Limey’s claims of something happening on May 1st, I read in the economist that the protests and pointless vandalism might not be as big as in years past, as the anti-everything groups have had a drop in membership, and the Anarchists that do most of the vandalism are having trouble organizing (disorganized anarchists? didn’t see that one comming)
so the Limey and his imaginary friends may be the biggest group out there.
DEMOCRACY NEEDS TO BE INSTALLED ACROSS THE WORLD!
CAPITALISM WILL SUFFER!
Well…considering that democracy tends to promote capitalism, I don’t think you really understands what you’re advocating.
MCDONALDS WILL SUFFER!
Unlikely, but if it makes you feel better, go ahead and eat at Burger King. Their burgers are better than McDonalds anyway. Or if you want to be REALLY alternative, eat at Dairy Queen. You limeys like queens, don’t you?
While the whole thing is an absolute riot, what I love most is the jab at American dentistry. One, I don’t remember the Federal Privatization of Dentristy Act . . . must have missed that one in history. Also, to make it even better, the British actually have truly horrible teeth for the citizens of a developed nation. As my English History professor says, “the English consume more sugar per capita than any other nation, and they have the teeth to prove it.” Also, has it struck anyone else as odd that he calls us fascists, yet claims to be a socialist himself? Last time I checked, NAZI was an acronym for National Socialist Party – maybe I can’t spell the capital of Moldova, but I sure remember my history.
Hi Limey!
Do you mind if I call you Limey? Not that it really matters, the name seems to have stuck. Well Limey, I have been reading your exchange with the most exalted American Frank and just felt I had to add another ignorant American capitalist opinion to this discussion. Please feel free to take this as war mongering. As you know, we like war. But, we like it a little different than you and the leftist groups you are so enamored with. We like it better when the people we are at war with actually know about it. And we like
killing their army men, because their is no sport in sneak attacking their women and children. That is the kind of thing that pansy soccer players get off on. We especially like to tell them exactly when and where we are going to attack them, because it makes it even funnier when they cannot do anything about it.
You mentioned early on about how many poor people we have in America. Especially in Alabama and inner-city California. I should point out that there is no place called “inner-city California” because California is one of our states, not a city. Maybe you should get a map. As far as our poor people go, thank you Limey, for being so worried about them, because we are not. You see, Limey, we actually live here and are not just spouting statistics like “there are 35 million people in your country in poverty”. As it happens, I actually live in Alabama, and I am not poor. The main reason for this is that I am willing to work hard. I don’t know how it is where you are from, Limey, but here, if you actually put out good work and care about bettering yourself, you can. That is why we can laugh at the funny poor people. Because most of them choose to be poor! See, it is easy to not feel bad for them, when you actually work with them and see them around and stuff. We have poverty-stricken people whose electricity just got cut off, but Daddy just bought a brand new Arctic Cat 4-wheeler (on payments of course) that he keeps parked outside the single-wide and a new deer rifle. And plenty of Budweiser. Then he bitches because it is the fascists fault that he has no electricity for watching his wrastling and his kids ain’t goin’ to get no college learnin’. How can you not see how funny that is?
So you see Limey, we do have poor people, and we really aren’t interested in just giving them some of our money so they won’t be poor anymore. We need it to by HDTV’s. But I did have an idea! Since you Limeys are so worried about our poor people how about this. You can take all of the money that you pour into that antiquated, worthless, money-sucking black hole called the royal family, and give it to our poor! You obviously won’t miss it. Just tell those free-loading, lucky-sperm club royals to go get freaking jobs and actually contribute in some way and all the money that is spent keeping those in-bred, large-eared, money-grubbers living in opulent luxury can be given to our poor people! Everybody wins! Your happy, our poor people are happy, and I am happy because I do not have to listen to any Limey nutcases that think I don’t deserve to keep the money I have earned! You could even sell Buckingham Palace to Elton John, so there would still be a Queen there!
I was even thinking of possible jobs for the royals. I think the Queen Mum would make a great Hooter’s hostess. It would go something like this:
Limey takes some of his baby-bombing money and decides to go out to eat instead. He goes to Hooters and is greeted at the door.
Queen E: “Welcome to Hooters gov’nor. Would that be Fascist or non-Fascist?”
Limey: “Non-Fascist please, good lord old girl, you look just like the Queen!”
Queen E: “I am the Queen you colossal twit. How does my bum look in these orange shorts?”
Limey “Uh, sorry dear, but most of your bum isn’t actually in those shorts, and I am no longer hungry. I think I will bomb babies after all.”
I was also thinking that you Limeys could also send our poor people all of the money that you are saving by not investing in any dental hygiene. That should take care of a few thousand poor people alone. Let’s face it, the most attractive thing y’all have ever produced was Princess Di, and you murdered her for dating an Arab.
You mentioned Gypsies several times. I must admit that you are right, we don’t like Gypsies. I am not sure why though. I think it is because of that 1971 Cher song, “Gypsies Spread Disease”:
I was born in the wagon of a Traveller’s show
My Mama used to dance cuz we wuz dirt po’
Papa was always in bad, bad mood
Cuz he blew all our money on liquor not food.
Because Gypsies spread disease,
We’d hear it from the fascists of the town
Gypsies spread disease,
But every day there were the capitalists
we could blame for all of this
Picked up a limey just south of Grimsby
He was kinda wierd, liked Rage against the Machine
I was sixteen, he was twenty or so
He was gonna kill fascists
Even if the were only two years old!
I think that one thing that upsets you about our poor is how not-suitably-miserably-impoverished they are. See, compared to most of the rest of the world’s impoverished, our impoverished are like upper-middle class. They have food (apparently food stamps are enough for some impoverished families to maintain a good 300 lbs each) clothes, shelter and even government provided health care. Damned Capitalism!
Your friend across the pond,
-Alabama Chris
Red wine is gross–especially the french kind–i would much more gladly drink blood.
Frank – I’m on to your little game! This whole Limey thing is a put on, isn’t it. The whole thing has been brilliantly amusing, and your creativity should be applauded, but you overdid it just a bit. Nobody in this world could be as excruciatingly stupid as “the Limey”.
Isn’t London in Ireland? Next to Wales?
Well, the bloody git isn’t my elder. The tosser. Calling him a wanker is good, but I think he’s more of a tosser.
Bite me, limey.