What are some activities one can do when holed up in a house with no power (assume there is candle light)?
Stupid freak’n hurricanes. And don’t just say reading, because I ain’t that guy from the Twilight Zone with the glasses who just wants to do that for all eternity.
Maybe I can do some accounting…
What do you think?
Oh, yes. Definitely. Accounting is the BEST choice for hurricane-related power outage activities.
midgets with velcro suits
NO!!! STAY AWAY FROM ACCOUNTING!!! IT’S EVIL!!!
btw, don’t be a moron, if they tell you to evacuate, you get out! ::shakes fist::
i don’t wanna have to tell people “my idiot boyfriend died in a hurricane because he was a moron.” they’d all question my judgment.
Buy a generator and don’t worry about it.
Frank time to go see the wonderful SarahK again. I am sure that Minerva would love to see you again.
Considering that your a young buck, and that your honey is a half a continent away, you might consider investing in a bottle of baby oil and a towel. Course I don’t have any suggestions for what you would do with the other 23hours and 58 minutes of the day.
Get a Gameboy and alot of beer.
On the one hand, if Frank died imao.us wouldn’t be as funny…on the other, Sarah would be single again…
I think your activity of choice should be hurricane surfing.
Find a nerf kitten and invite jonah over for indoor baseball.
Oh, and it’s a perfect time to put your most recent comics in polybags and alphabetize them.
Go visit SarahK again!
Shadow puppets.
Build a fire and toast marshmallows. Might be difficult outside, what with rain and wind, but I don’t think you’d want to do it inside either… How about toasting marshmallows over a candle flame?
As someone who just came through Ivan the Terrible, do what we did. Stay with someone else who has power. Even if you have to go all the way to Texas. Otherwise, that favorite redneck activity, cleaning your guns. And plotting to keep your Democratic neighbor from getting power. It worked for awhile!!
See how many times you can masterbate in a 24 hour time period.
Create the game mechanics, setting, and storyline of your very own paper-&-dice RPG!!1! :oD
Err… I mean, umm… weightlifting! Or gun repair! Or something else macho and un-geeky! Yeah, that’s what I meant to say… ^_^;;
Do some accounting. So that’s what you kids are calling it nowadays.
Embrace the darkness, Frank!
Stick a candle in a wine jug, and melt crayons over it. It looks purdy.
Beating up hippies doesn’t take much light.
The hurricane should provide a lot of moving targets if you feel like shooting stuff.
Will you be holed up in a house with no power and candle light with SarahK? If that’s the case and you still don’t have any ideas, you simply have no imagination.
Seeing as how hurricanes keep coming after you, I think you should carefully consider what you might have done to anger the mighty storm demons. You should also think about appropriate appeasements: Start with sacrificing a chicken or two, then work your way up. When the hurricanes stop, you have offered an animal powerful enough to assuage the storm demon’s terrible wrath.
And step on it, because we have a cookout planned for this weekend. If guests are getting lashed with torrential rain and speared by flying stop signs they’re not going to come back next year.
S
My recommendation has always been “Drink Heavily”.
If you’re stuck in the shadows, find out what Karl Rove is up to.
Origami by candlelight.
Frank:
I think this could keep you busy and is more productive than the other suggestions:
1. Visit many cemeteries before storm
2. Dig up bodies
3. Sew together various parts creating monster
4. Fly box kites with high tension wire for kite string into heart of hurricane
5. Hurricane’s lighting re-animates body parts bringing forth life to monster
6. Scream, “It’s alive! Its alive I tell you!”
7. Use monster to terrorize countryside or as drinking buddy who also can make important beer runs during height storm
8. After storm, loose monster on terrooooorists, nothing better than watching a good terrooorist stomping by an enraged monster
You’re assuming that the monster would actually LIKE Frank.
I’d listen to Jolly Roger. He’s pre-med.
Did Sarahk use the word boyfriend? Is Frank going to use the word girfriend? He can always think about Sarahk with the lights out, but he probably does that anyway.
Frank, my good man, your girlfriend should be able to tell you this, but how can you possibly do accounting without power? I’ve been crunchin the old numbers for nigh on 10 years now, and everything is on computer.
So unless you’ve got an old “One Write” system, (which is the accounting equivalent of using a sundial to determine lunch time) you ain’t going to be sailing the wide accountancy.
The first thing is to realize that goblins are attracted to places with very little light: the fact that Florida has been without power so frequently lately has probably attracted a lot of goblins.
Three important things to know about goblins: they like to run around making odd noises to freak you out; they hate the smell of cheap whiskey; they’re entirely vulnerable to any caliber of .38 or greater.
So, by all means drink lots of cheap whiskey, so they won’t try to kiss you when you fall asleep.
Then, arm yourself well, and walk around your house listening for odd noises. It’s probably a goblin. Fire!
Assuming you have sufficient candlelight, and assuming you weren’t stupid like me last time I bought socks, you could sort your sock drawer. Sometimes it carries all the feel-good rewards that I hear marriage therapists thrive on – putting back together those two that have been apart for ages…
But that wouldn’t work in my case. I’m a dumbass and keep buying socks that are either black, or so damn-dark-blue they might as well be black. There are not enough candles in the world for me to be able to sort my sock drawer if the power goes out.
But you could try it.
YOUR sock drawer, that is… even though we’re in no danger of losing power here, if I wake up finding you sorting MY sock drawer, I’ll freak out like you’ve never seen freaking out.
Don’t you have a pool table? Well, practice!
With the dim light and crashing thunder and wind, conditions are perfect to simulate a biker bar on Saturday night (particularly if you drink heavily as suggested above).
Time enough at last…. to blog, get that gass generator out buddy.
Sleep.
It just occurred to me why Ivan reformed over the gulf and hit the Texas coast: It was confused.
It heard you were in Texas somewhere recently and came looking for you. Luckily you had left already and were back in Florida. Maybe you can fake Jeanne out by telling everyone you’re headed for North Carolina this weekend.
Get a generator and a copy of the latest computer games that appeal to you. If I was cooped up and couldn’t access the internet, I’d at least want to be able to attempt to wear out my mouse playing UT2004 for twenty-four hours straight.
“R-R-RAMPAGE!”
Dude, don’t you have any flashlights???
Hmm, darkness … a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou ..
Seems like the perfect time to get your girl, get naked, and spend hours playing slap and tickle.
Well, how about getting all liquored up and inviting a few girls over?
No? You could sort your socks then.
Warhammer 40,000!
Showing my age, I know … You could always follow the old songs lines about “counting flowers on the wall”. Done by hurricane lantern light, with yourself full of your tipple of choice, this should take hours to accomplish. If you lose your concentration, you get to start all over again.
On the other hand, you could always grab your sword and be very vigilant for ninjas. Ninjas like the distraction a hurricane provides as it facilitates things so it’s easier for them and their trained monkeys to attack.
So, if you leave your house to go insult and challenge Ivan and those that sent it, you leave yourself wide open for the ninjas to take over your house. Bad idea.
Which brings me to third suggestion. Figure out how to dose bananas in their skins with booze. Load as many bananas as you can lay your hands on with the booze. Strategically place the bananas around to draw the invading monkeys attention. This will infuriate the ninjas so they’ll take out their advance monkey scouts.
I suggest that Frank think of funny things that he can tell us about when he returns to blogging after the storm. yay woohoo super great! thank you.
I’m a CPA and let me tell you that doing accounting without power sucks. How’re you gonna do all that high math like adding and subtracting, without a calculator.
Damn Frank, what are you, a math genius.
Frank,
Don’t you go bringing no hurricanes to North Carolina! Other than that, you’re welcomed any time.
Since your artwork looks best in the dark, you could draw lots of cool cartoons. You wouldn’t even need to light a candle.
J.R., i have a few footers that run on what i like to call “batteries”.
Get a BB gun and do some indoor target practice… use a couple of telephone books as a backstop and shoot at pictures/drawings of your favorite irritants!
Ingredients: A bagel, a tub of cream cheese, some grapes, sesame crackers, sharp cheddar, and a bottle of merlot.
Preparation: Drink bottle of merlot. Strip down to (preferably skimpy) underwear. Rub cream cheese on body. Stick sesame crackers to creamed cheese body parts. Put one grape in each nostril, stuff cheddar in mouth until cheeks bulge and orange shows through slightly open teeth and lips. Slice bagel in half, thread each ear through hole in bagel half.
To Serve: NOW run out onto the golf course and yell at the storm. If God notices you, he’ll be laughing too hard to hit you with any thunderbolts.
Take care, Frank. Keep your head down.
Boardgames. I hear ‘Risk’ by candlelight is very romantic.
Play the Ungame: The Game where Everyone wins! Gain new insights into the other players’ inner workings as feelings are shared and the bonds of friendship are strengthened!
Don’t I wish that I were making this up.
Play the Ungame: The Game where Everyone wins! Gain new insights into the other players’ inner workings as feelings are shared and the bonds of friendship are strengthened!
Don’t I wish that I were making this up.
take up guitar
First step, foil hats. Make sure they have a point at the top
Second, gather all things Republican into the center of your living room.
Third, make up some derrainged chant about Michel Moore being sucked into a vortex.
Finally, wake up in the neighbors tree smelling of whiskey and KFC. Wonder how you got there.
Pundidiot, ROFL!
Ditto what SK said, Pundidiot
I suggest skeet-shooting the dislodged roof tiles flying through the air.
Invite SarahK over, have a little wine, have a little more wine, get suggestive… then get your ass kicked by a girl. It will keep you occupied, I guarantee.
AA batteries and a Game Boy SP?
Charles.
Nobody’s going to read this comment so late, so –
The best hands down activity without electricity is sex. If you are not by yourself, however, then checkers is the close second.