The IMAO readers gather at the blog site and look on. What’s happening here?
A gospel Choir Comes out, and sets up. The lead singer steps forward and starts to belt it out…
Lead Singer: Are you ready for a miraaaaaaaaaaaaaacle?
Choir: Help us all be free.
Are you ready for a miracle.
Glory let it be.
Are you ready?
Woooooh.
Are you ready?
wooooo.
Are you ready?
wooooo.
Are you ready?
wooooo.
All together: Areyouready areyouready for a mira-cuuuuuuuuuuuuuul.
Ladies and Gentleman put your hands together, for the man with the plan, for the dude with the ‘tude, for the miracle makin’ mannerisms of…..
John Edwards. Miracle Maker.
Here’s Johnnnnnny!!!
Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.
I’m here a reason. I’m here to be pleas-in.
I’m here to say and to pray and to DIS-play- the glory of OUR PLAN.
But I’m also here to give sad news, to those who CON-fuse, and RE-fuse the plan.
It is my unfortunate duty to report …(fake tear in his eye) To announce… (tear, fake sob)
Frank J, beloved leader of the IMAO minions – passed away recently.
(Crowd Gasps)
Yes. True.
He was at a John Kerry rally, where we thought he would see the light and come to our side – when a suicide bomber came into the crowd and exploded.
(gasp)
Yes. It’s quite a nuisance.
I remember seeing a girl with a bow bending over him saying Why God, Why – is John Kerry so wonderful.
Heartbreaking.
But I have some GOOD news too.
I predict that Frank can come back from the dead. I believe he will rise again – on Monday when he comes back from his vacation – at , uhm, uh DEAD WORLD.
We’re going to talk about John Kerry’s plan.
For your life.
For your strife.
For your children,husband, wife.
When all else fails. when life’s DE-tails, when life de-RAILS,
turn to John Kerry and his plan
John Kerry is the answer.
He is the alpha the omega, the A to Z, the Bumblebee that will float like a butterfly and SET – YOU – FREE…
Do you know what I’m talkin’ ’bout? Do you want to give a shout?
We’re the ones that have the clout.
I can tell by looking at you that none of you make any money.
We don’t think that’s funny.
But don’t panic dears, lend us your ears, give us 4 short years, and we’ll
Transorm, Reform, and Conform – to the world and what’s in it.
We ain’t just gonna spin it. Lifes a game and we can win it.
Let’s talk about the two Americas.
Choir comes out… Are you ready for a miracle?
IMAO Readers,
Frank J will come back from the dead. In the meantime I RightWingDuck will fill in as much as I’m able.
OMG! Ihave figured out what Kerry’s plan is!
IT’S A COOKBOOK! IT’S A COOKBOOK!!
AAAAAAMEN BROTHER!!!
(Mechtech – good obscure sci-fi reference!)
Don’t forget, John Kerry will personally “calm the waters of a troubled world!” Hallelujah!
Oh. My.
Excellent as usual, Mr. uh.. Duck.
Bravo!
Um, wow. I think you have too much time on your hands…
I think Edwards should have gone with the sparkles during the vice-presidential debates. Sure, Cheney would have still won, but Edwards principle constituents at least would remain focused on the sparkle, unable to divert their gaze from it’s wonderful sparkly-ness. Or perhaps they’d just throw feces at one another. Either way. . .
Brilliant Ducky! It will be a good week indeed!
Can I get a witness?
Amen brother Duck!
Is there a nonstop from Amarillo comin’ in sometime today?
And the congregation erupts into applause and shouts of Amen!
HE CANNOT GO ON VACATION BEFORE ANNOUNCING THE SURPRISE! Oh … RightWingDuck filling in is the surprise? You are great, Mr. Duck, but why do I feel like it’s Christmas morning and there’s coal in my stocking? 😉 But I LOVE this post, if you keep it up, maybe I will realize that Christmas is early this year!
Did I miss an announcement… Sarahk says she’s flying out of Amarillo and Frankj’s suddenly missing… conincidence? I think not
I’m not dead!
I feel happy! I feel happy!
:: thunk ::
If I weren’t so sad that Frank were dead, I’d say that was an excellent and hilarious post! BTW who hit Frank in the head? We’ll smash him in revenge…
I’m sure Frank would have wanted that.
Why would Frank be at a Kerry rally? With all those Commie-hippies to beat up, he should have took Chomps as backup.
Don’t quit your day job.
Wow, Mr. Duck, you sure know how to make an entrance!
Duckie, did you do that to Frank? Enjoying the spotlight, are you? /sarcasm
An entrance of such GRAN-deur!
Frank, we’ll miss you, but you shall rise again. In the mean time, what a treat!
Good! Bravo!
NO VACTION, i want my free ice cream
Ooooooohhhh.. look at the spaaarkliiieees
There is one Kerry, and Edwards is his prophet. . .
No no, no smashing heads. Too many body parts on IMAO these days. Guest blogs, terrorist bombs, can’t we all just get along.
Oh, I guess not. Well, most of us?
Is it just me or does that pic of Edwards remind you of the phrase “What? Me Worry?”
I don’t think I have ever been as enraged at a politician as when Prophet Oracle Edwards proclaimed that Christopher Reeves would have been walking, the blind made to see, the deaf made to hear, the wheelchair bound will walk again, etc. etc. if / when Kerry gets elected.
Not to mention Derbin and that other clown on the Senate floor dragging around the still warm corpse of Reeves and using him as a political prop.
Slaughtering children for the PROMISE of miracle cures, of which there is no basis in fact, for every disease is one of the sickest and most evil things I have ever heard in my life.
Therefore, in my mind, they are no longer the Democrat party, they are the SATAN party.
Happy Satan Day.
I used to think Hillary might have been a good candidate for Anti-Christ, but I am considering Edwards or Kerry to be a close second.
Sheesh!
hahaha it does! oh alfred e newman
do us a favor, he’s almost dead!