Look for the deleted post at Democratic Underground near the bottom of this thread (number 19). What my brother originally wrote there was, “I’ll fix this, im going in Jan with marines and I’ll kill all the terrorists so they can’t do harm.”
He really thought that wasn’t going to be deleted.

This liveblogging event is brought to you by Marlboro cigarettes. Mmm… Marlboro cigarettes. It’s like candy you set on fire!

Yay! What will the future look like if Bush is reelected?
Let me look into my crystal ball…

“It has been confirmed that, upon Bush’s reelection, half of all terrorist have now died out of fear. France has crumbled and fallen into the sea…
“This just in: Michael Moore has exploded, covering various lefties around him with his fetid chunks and killing them as well. We’ll show you video of that as soon as it is available.
“Back to our major stories: Liberals who swore to flee the country have actually kept their promise… most of them being killed when France crumbled into the sea. Anyway, this is Steve the intern filling in for Dan Rather, and we’ll be back with the story about the destruction of the mainstream media after the break.”

Kentucky, Georgia, and Indiana go to Bush.
Kerry gets stupid Vermont.
That’s 34-3! Looks to me like Bush is going to win win win!

If Bush and Mel Martinez wins, I’ll film myself doing the happy dance and post it. Do what you have to to make it so.

Oh no! What will happen if Kerry wins?
I shall use my psychic powers and tell you…

Kerry stared out the window of the White House. “No one told me there were so many colored folk in D.C.,” he moaned, “Can’t I move my headquarters to Cape Cod?”
“Don’t worry,” Teresa said, “I am African-American like them. I’m also the queen of Portugal! Wagga wagga wagga!”
“So, what are you first thoughts on assuming office?” asked a reporter.
“I served in Vietnam,” Kerry answered.
“And how do you feel being only the second insane First Lady?” a reporter asked Teresa.
“Cancer can be cured by wearing Saran-Wrap and dancing the waltz! Wagga wagga wagga!” Teresa answered.
A panicked aide ran into the room. “America has just suffered another terror attack!”
“Hey! My first priority is healthcare!” Kerry answered, “You tell those terrorists I served in Vietnam.”
“But the Republicans in Congress won’t pass your plan,” the aide answered, “They hate you. They even passed a resoultion saying so.”
“Don’t they know who I am?!” Kerry fumed.
“My left shoe has magical powers!” Teresa exclaimed, “Wagga wagga wagga!”
They could hear an explosion nearby.
“So are you going to do anything about terrorism?” the aide asked.
“I’m outsourcing that problem to France,” Kerry said.
“But I thought you made it clear in your campaign your against outsourcing?” a reporter asked.
“I thought I also made it clear I constantly change my mind on things,” Kerry said indignantly. He then saw himself in the mirror. “Someone needs to paint me more orange!”

For those new to the game, the whole election is about Florida (where I am!) and Ohio. If either candidate gets both those states, it’s pretty much over. If they’re split, though, it’s going to be a fun night!
Also, there is the possibility Bush could pick up New Jersey, Michigan, or Pennsylvania which also means it’s all over.
But let’s just focus on Florida and Ohio and ignore all other states; that will make things simple.

Some people seem to be freak’n out over the early exit poll data, but that’s even less reliable than regular polls. Remember, Republicans have jobs so they’ll probably be voting later in the day after work.
Chill, foo’s.

It’s time to start the IMAO liveblogging with me, Frank J., starring as The Blogger and you starring as The Readers.
I’m going to keep updating all night (or until I get sweepy) whether I have anything significant to say or not.
So get ready for some fun… but make sure you voted first! I don’t care what state you’re in, you’ll want to tell your gandchildren that, when the chips were down, you voted for Bush. And, if you already have grandchildren, you can call them and tell them that now.
So let’s get started…
P.S. I probably won’t even bother to proofread, so try to make the best sense you can out of each post.

Blackfive ran into some big shenanigans – possibly being disenfranchised – trying to vote in Chicago, voter fraud capital U.S.A.
Man, I like that word… shenanigans!

Is it just me, or has my site been down a lot today?

I hadn’t been able to access my site for a couple hours, but now I can finally tell you all to stop e-mailing me about the blood-sucking monkeys in India. I check the DrudgeReport numerous times daily, so I already knew about it before the e-mails.
As for my opinion on it, many consider India the world’s largest democracy, but I don’t consider any country to be a true democracy while monkeys are running around – especially ones that suck blood. Fortunately, we don’t have any of those shenanigans here today… so far.
Anyway, can’t wait for the work day to be over and to get to my liveblogging the election. Fun! Fun! Fun!

The lovely and talented SarahK has the transcript for a debate between two possible personalities we’ll have to deal with for the next four years.

If you haven’t seen it yet, here’s the full transcript of what Osama said in his tape. To me, his repetition of all the left’s talking points makes him look especially pathetic while it makes the left look like… well, who they are.