Hello, Aquafans.
Now that I’m a blogger, it seems it’s time for me to dabble in the insidious world of politics. A good place to start appeared to be with the story of Congressman Maurice Hinchey. He is sure that the dastardly Karl Rove planted the fake memos with CBS News to create a distraction and ruin the career of the revered Dan Rather. But, even Hinchey admits he has no proof.
Needs proof, eh? This sounds like a job for…
AQUAMAN!!!
I just knew I could get to the bottom of this nefarious, Rovian conspiracy. I decided to pay the Republican headquarters a visit… which I found out, unfortunately, was not underwater. Thus, I decided to go incognito!
Yes, I am also a master of disguise and a proud owner of a “Word-A-Day” calendar.
I put on a trench coat and fedora and headed into the evil lair of the Republicans. Much to my luck, there was an aquarium there. The walls have ears… at least they do for me when the walls have fish in them!
The fish were a snooty bunch of tropical imports and it was hard to get any information out of them other than that they thought the sunken treasure chest could look more convincing. I was sure one clownfish was holding something from me, but he gave me the cold shoulder while calling me a, “Commoner.” Thus I reached into the tank, grabbed him, and started shaking him.
That’s when security came.
Yes, Aquafans – they had me surrounded! So I threw off my hat and trench coat revealing my trademark orange shirt and green pants (and I will sue you if you copy them) and announced, “It is, I, Aquaman! Do you fools dare stand against the King of Atlantis?”
They did dare.
I’m not sure how long they beat me, as I passed out during it. When I woke up on the street, I found some taser burns on me and that my wallet was gone. Well, I guess you won this time, Karl Rove. But know that Aquaman will be back!
This is Aquaman, signing off.
Quite possibly Aquaman will kick more ass than I originally thought. I’ll have to give him another chance.
You and aldaynet are in lock step with this post. I imagine it was this morning’s GOPAC fax.
How is this (honestly) admitted lack of proof anywhere near the atrocity that is Bush’s lies about WMDs, the war on Iraq, the economy, Social Security, etc. etc.? Those lies cost lives and life savings. Where is the outrage over that?
Anyway, if this accusation were so baseless, why would anyone care about it?
Ian,
I don’t get it? Are you saying the GOP planned to ambush Aquaman in the lobby of their headquarters?
Z’ounds! Then was it Hinchey who set me up? What does the GOP want with me! Answer me, Ian, before you have the wrath of the seas upon you!
I don’t understand the haters!
sure, Aquaman gets no love, but he’s got aquatic skills, and the ability to communicate with fish. and he can breathe under water!
under water, people!
wait, maybe I do get the haters now…
Aquaman, have you considered that maybe, just maybe, being a superhero isn’t your cup of tea?
I mean, imagine if you were a super villain.
Obviously, all your plans would hinge around trying to flood the planet underwater, so that you would gain dominion of the entire world!
Then you would be the one who would be laughing!
or, he could seek the violent overthrow of all governments that seek to pollute the sea with…pollution, and toxic waste, and Captain Planet reruns.
get some whales and sea otters and flying fish to attack boats and stuff.
Psssh! I laugh! Aquaman would never be able to take over the world, since he would be in direct competition with Black Manta, who would stomp Aquaman senseless.
Geez Aquaman, couldn’t you at least manage to get yourself tied up with Wonder Woman?
Aquaman looks like he is standing in front of a golf ball on a tee. If I remember the laws of perspective correctly, that would make him EXTREMELY SMALL. No wonder why he got his butt kicked. Indeed it speaks well of the ‘publicans marksmanship in being able to taser such a small target.
What Aquaman needs is a new picture, cause this one makes him look more like Planktonman.
Here’s an interesting expose an the “real” Aquaman:
http://www.seanbaby.com/superfriends/aquaman.htm
I’ll never forgive you, Chum, you filthy liar! Welcome to the magnifying glass that is the Jungle Jake!
That’s hillarious! I have a new respect for DC Comics now…heh.
Hmmmmm….Sounds fishy.
Hey… doesn’t aquaman have like, a hook for an arm? I’m seeing two perfectly good arms in the picture here…
I’m sure a little tartar sauce will fix those taser burns right up!
Aquaman is the evil genious behind global warming ! Soon all the world gill be covered by water and all the other super hero’s will have drowned ! Take That all yea drylanders who have heaped your scorn on me for so long !
Sounds like Rove has some of the thugs JFK had on his payorll in Wis (Sowande Omokunde et al). Politics is once agaon becoming a bare knuckle sport.