10. You never could throw your full support behind John Kerry once you found out his first name is found in the Bible, of all places.
9. One of the few reasons you couldn’t bring yourself to assasinate the president is you’d have to actually buy a gun.
8. Your opinions and values carry more weight than those that oppose you, because you care.
7. To save money you bought an effigy of Bush made of asbestos. You later returned it when you realized ‘the bush burned with fire, but the bush was not consumed.’ is ALSO found in the Bible.
6. You believe the death penalty should be abolished…after it’s applied to those that support it.
5. You believe that any news service that doesn’t keep ‘Bush is EV1L Incarnate’ as its lead story is undeniably linked to a Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.
4. Four years later and you are STILL protesting outside the Broward County Courthouse for Gore-Lieberman 2000.
3. You have made a sign which you carry to every protest that just says ‘NO!’. It’s written in your own blood from when you carved ‘I’m Sorry, World’ on your forehead.
2. You acknowlege the ‘Vast Right Wing Conspiracy’ exists and is inherently evil but often lose sleep at night worrying there are smaller ‘Widespread Right Wing Conspiracies’ that need to be stamped out too and aren’t getting the attention they deserve.
And the number one Indicator You May Be Left of Liberal….
1. You strongly believe cannibalism is wrong. Not because it takes a human life but because it’s…meat.
Absolutely hilarious.
Oh, and “first”
very funny especially numbers 6 and 1!
oh yeah, first!
That good stuff,Spacemonkey.It’d be even funnier if it all weren’t so true. (Or maybe it’s the truth that makes it funny? Hmmm) Heh
pinkie toe!
just on the finish line…
Hey hey hey!
Funny as they say!
And death to the infidels.
Would a liberal really buy an ASBESTOS effigy? “Asbestos is bad, m’kay?” Seems like it should be an effigy made of hemp fibers, hand-woven by indigenous peoples and such.
Superior funny power at work here. Okay, I was hesitant about this group blog thing, but spacemonkey stays for sure.
Good post, I am glad to say based on your criteria: I am not a liberal.
#1 had my husband calling from the next room, “Tracey, what the hell are you doing? Are you OK?” Very very funny!
See, Harvey, that’s what an actual top ten list looks like 🙂
Good funny work, spacemonkey. Your execution has been postponed.
Excellent work!
#1 was actually the funniest!!
THAT is a classic!
Arguably the best post since the group thing started. And on top of it someone came up with the name ‘Fatwa Albert.’ I think he’s related to Ayatollah A–ahola.
You forgot this one. You can’t confuse me with FACTS, because I know better… Dan Rather told me so!
I could read these comments over and over.
I can assure you, as a member of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy that smaller conspiracies do not officially exist.
Looks like John Hawkins came up with a list almost identical to this one!
Yeah, the big sneaky thieving sneak-thief, my lawyers will be calling him.
And by lawyers I mean goons and by call I mean beat.
Seriously though, him doing that’s a good thing in more than one way, right?
love it
You MUST turn this list into a t-shirt. Imagine a hot young college Republican wearing the shirt to her “America Is the Root of All Evil” class……I wonder if they would stone her for her intolerance…..