I saw Batman Begins over the weekend, and it was awesome – leagues better than any of the previous (there was actually acting and character development). I’m all hyped for the sequel and hope they bring back Batman’s main nemesis, the Joker. I wonder who should play him, though. Besides being too old, I think Jack Nicholson just had too much cool to be the Joker. Actually, the previous choice for the Riddler, Jim Carrey, would have been a better fit.
What do you think?
BTW, the rumor of who Nolan is looking to cast could be controversial if true.

The Miss America Pageant has now been moved to the Country Music Television Channel.
I’m a big fan of beauty contests. Some people say that true beauty lies on the inside, but I’ve noticed that only ugly people say that. Anyway, not that Miss America has left the major networks and ‘gone country’ I’ve done some digging and have learned that this pageant will be going through some changes.
Here’s Ducky’s Dozen:

Top Changes for Miss America Now That It’s On CMT
Now on CMT, Country Music Television.
12. Judging panel use gold covered spittoons.
11. Sponsorship provided by Roadkill Helper
10. Orchestra is replaced by Mr. Earl and His Jug Town Band
9. Opening number is one big square dance
8. Kenny Chesney eligible to be a contestant
7. Moonshine Chugging Competition
6. All contestants given the middle name “Sue” or “Lou”
Announcer: “And here’s our next contestant. Margarita Lou Lopez!!”
5. Bikinis replaced with Daisy Dukes
4. New, improved talent show!!
Announcer: And here’s Miss New York, Elizabeth Lou Miller!
Miss NY: At first I was going to recite poetry, but now that we’re on CMT I’d like to do some hog calling. Suweeee. Soweeee. Suweeeeeeeeeeeeee.
3. Official song becomes, “She’s purtier than my red wagon”
2. Pageant contestants would be the first people on CMT with all their teeth.
And the biggest change now that Miss America is on CMT…

Continue reading ‘The New Miss America’ »

Continue reading ‘awwwwwwwwwwwww……………………..’ »

Known for his sharp rhetoric opposing the War in Iraq during his brief run for President, the Reverend Al Sharpton has now come around to giving the War effort his full support.
“While blacks make up over 20% of the US Military, they comprise less than 12% of the casualties,” said Sharpton, “If there’s a downside to this, I’m just not seein’ it.”
“Heh. Crackas be droppin’ like flies!”
Former Ku Klux Klansman and current West Virginia Senator Robert C. Byrd also voiced tentative approval of the war upon reviewing the statistics.
“Although it pains me some to see good White men dying for Bush’s illegal war for oil,” observed Byrd, “I comfort myself with the notion that the ones doing the dying had voluteered to serve in a mixed-race Service. Me, I’d rather die a thousand times than fight under Old Glory with a Negro by my side.”
“It’s God’s justice”, he concluded.
President George W. Bush – speaking at a press conference earlier today – expressed disappointment at the news, but hoped that a solution could be found.
“It seems that “Operation Get Behind the Darkies” has been a miserable failure,” said Bush. “I’ll be meeting with the Joint Chiefs later this week to discuss ways of increasing minority casualties. I don’t want the US Armed Forces to be accused of violating Affirmative Actions laws by allowing African-Americans to be under-represented in this vital category.”
[Hat tip to Mean Mr. Mustard for the link to the stats]

There seems to be a few misperceptions about the podcast, so I thought I’d do a short FAQ.
Q. What is a podcast?
A. It’s an audio file, specifically an mp3 in our case.
Q. So why the fancy-smancy name?
A. So it sounds cool. Originally, the name confused me too, and I thought we were making a special file that only played on Apple products — but I was wrong!
Q. Do I need an mp3 player to listen to the podcast?
A. No, I don’t even own one. If you have a computer with speakers (or headphones), you’re set. The idea is, if you have a portable player, you can listen to podcasts while jogging or at work, but, if you’re like me, you’ll just listen on your home computer.
Q. What’s that weird subscribe XML stuff?
A. If you have a program like iPodder, you enter the URL of that XML when adding a subscription to IMAO. Then, iPodder will automatically see when new IMAO podcast are available and be able to download them for you. Right now, you have to use software like that to download our older podcasts.
Q. How often will there be new podcasts?
A. Every Monday, including a special one for this 4th of July.
Q. I want to support the podcast. What can I do?
A. Tell your friends, tell us what you like and don’t like so we can improve, and make sure to vote so we can gain some stature in the admittedly liberal leaning podcast community (I was told in a forum we’re a niche just by being conservative). Podcast Alley is where we’re making headway from votes, and you can vote every month, so there will be a big push for votes in July so we can try and make the top ten podcasts. Please vote now if you haven’t already (all you have to do is give them a real e-mail address and then click the URL when sent the e-mail). Podcast Pickle is another popular site where we could use your support.
Q. I don’t care about podcasts. I want Frank Answers™ back! Where are my Frank Answers™?
A. The mailbag segment at the end of the podcasts basically is Frank Answers™. Just send your comments and questions to the designated e-mail (podcast [ at ] imao.us) and you might hear me respond in the next podcast. Plus, the best e-mail each week wins a free t-shirt. That makes it even better than Frank Answers™!
Q. Wow! Podcasting is fun and cool! I love it!
A. That’s not a questions, moron! It’s idiots like you that make me hate blogging and podcasting!
Q. I’m sorry.
A. You’re forgiven! Hooray!
If anything else is confusing you, put it in the comments and I’ll update this FAQ.

Here’s something maybe a few honorable ronin can help me with. My uncle, Bruce Lefavi, works as a financial consultant. In addition to his business, he has written a book (may write another) and has a syndicated radio show. Until now, though, he hasn’t focused much on his website (other than putting his mutual fund picks and a bio on it). He wants to change that, and especially promote that he’s now 22 for 22 on financial predicitons over the years (with two new ones pending). I said I’d help him (doesn’t the Bible say, “Help thy rich uncles.”?), but I don’t know much about the internet in the area of financial investing. Any investors out there who know what to most popular sites are (especially ones with bboards)? He’s hoping for more of a viral advertising campaign.
Anyone who helps me and my uncle will be rewarded with… uh… much good feelings.

There’s talk that some people will find some of the language in this week’s IMAO Podcast insensitive and offensive. Certain minority segments of the population are supposedly being mocked in the June 27 IMAO Podcast, but it’s nothing worse than what Mel Brooks did 30 years ago.
If anything, the IMAO Podcast aims to equally offend everyone until the Supreme Court rules our podcast unconstitutional.
Have you listened to it yet? If you have tell me if you think any of it is offensive. If you haven’t listened to the IMAO Podcast, why? It is free to download and we’re giving away t-shirts just for listening…

What is it with the Supreme Court? They’ve been trouble ever since Marbury v. Madison where Chief Justice John Marshall ruled in 1801 quote: “We, the most Supreme Court of this land and any land hence forth discovered, have infinite power over all things, and shall never be questioned. NEVER!”
Now the court has made a few more wacky decisions, making our about three page Constitution even more meaningless. It’s time that the Supreme Court had a few more check and balances, I say.
My proposal is to add a “Men with Bats” division to the Executive Branch. Then, if the President doesn’t like a Supreme Court’s decision, he can send his Men with Bats to see if they can change the Court’s mind. The idea here is, if the Supreme Court makes an unpopular decision based on real principles, they should be willing to take a trashing for it.
Of course, there will be checks against the Men with Bats. Any beating of the Supreme Court judges can be stopped with a two-thirds super majority vote in Congress. Also, the President has the voters to answer to, who may become upset if he orders the beating of the Supreme Court judges too much (or too little).
I defy anyone to find any flaws in my new idea.

*** Warning, The following post contains hardly any political references and little to no, actual humor***
Would it be wrong for me to claim IMAO.US on blogshares?
Reasons I think it would be ok.
* Because I can. It’s not my fault Frank J. entrusted me with the keys to the kingdom, well to post anyway. I am an opportunist from day one.
*It has been since Mar 13, 2003. In blog years that’s like forever. What’s he waiting on? A Democrat controlled congress?
*The owner awarded bog-shares are worth over 2 million Blogshare Dollars. Which is some pretty tempting bait. With that kind of fake money, I could really buy some awesome, well… other… fake… blogshare… type… stuff.
*It’s not real money so it wouldn’t really be stealing for me to make a claim since Frank J seems to have no real interest in the fake stockmarket for fake blogshares?
*Because I did. This post was just a way to get the logo for my claim put on the front page of the blog long enough for my claim stake to be, ah, staked. Buwuahahaha.
Feedback would be appreciated it, even if I actually don’t heed it or pay any mind to it. In fact, I may actually mock you.

White Fang saw my call to Rush Limbaugh on the Ditto Cam and sent this description:

He was at first a little surprised when you mentioned podcasting and seemed somewhat intrigued in my opinion.
When you starting talking about your perceptions of Geldof, he appeared slightly uninterested, not paying complete attention.
By the time he said “These rock stars can fool us….people of considerable depth” he looked to me very much like he was kidding (and even poking fun at you to some degree).
After you continued speaking following the “depth” line, he appeared uninterested and mockingly clutched his heart.
When he went to commercial break he laughed, shook his head somewhat and slapped himself in the face, then going on with something else.

Was Rush Limbaugh taking me as a fool? Then he made himself a powerful enemy!
BTW, anyone know how White Fang could record that video so I could sees it?

The Frank man is back, and I just finished reading the comments to my proposal to demand an apology from a random Democrat Senator. Unfortunately, the Democrats seems to have stole my idea in demanding and apology from Karl Rove. Still, I think my scheme has a better chance of success. I still need a good target and statement, though.
Commenter Patel suggested that we go after a Senator who is vulnerable in 2006 and listed Sarbanes (MD), Conrad (ND), or Byrd (WV). Byrd is too obvious, so I say Sarbanes or Conrad. I think a statement about the war would be best to misconstrue and get all angry about. I don’t have the time to do all the footwork here, so, if people put quote from Sarbanes and Conrad in the comments, we can settle on one and get this test of the Right-Wing Noise Machine started.

Comment here on the new podcast (and don’t forget to send short comments and questions to the e-mail in the podcast to get a chance to win a t-shirt; it’s the only Frank Answers™ around now).
Plus, make sure to vote so we gain power in the podcast community.