Following the Palestinians in committing collective suicide, apparently Kerry is calling for a filibuster of Alito. Now the American people get to watch some Democrats shake their tiny fists in impotent rage before Alito is inevitably voted the next Supreme Court Justice.
This is just the sort of wackiness that inspired me to start writing political humor. Go Kerry!
UPDATE: Dude, Kennedy is joining Kerry in this! That man is like 95% living joke, 4% man, and 1% whiskey. Pure entertainment is sure to follow.
If these idiots in Congress actually had to answer to a manager, they’d have all been fired for total non-productivity long ago.
What a waste these bastids are..
Besides acting like they are in grade school.
yep.
Anyone else up for sending Kerry and Kennedy to France? Maybe then we could have peace without their whining. This solution works well with any liberal.
They should make a game show where they take liberals and send them to live in a dictatorship to a week, and see if it makes them grow a brain after they see the US is really nice. Failing that, they can be turned into minesweepers or something to make the show fun to watch.
Are you sure those fractions are right? I would think Kennedy would be 95% whiskey, 4% living joke, and 1% man.
Hey Scott…
A week ain’t long enough to make a difference… it would take them that long just to shake hands and compare surrender monkey flags. How about six months? That should laaarn ’em.
1% Whisky (No E according to Kentucky’s “Maker’s Mark” brand, dictionaries be damned) is pretty fair since Kennedy’s fatty body mass pushes the proportions out. He’s only 3% blood by weight with twelve pints of blood.
Battling the Legion of Democrats and their dreaded cosmic flibuster is all in a day’s work for me, Aquaman. All we have to do is flood the left side of the House and Senate, and fill it with man-eating sharks. Then it’s SHOWTIME as I go to work with my amazing and unequaled ability to communicate with the aquatic species (that’s “fish” to you landtalkers).
It’s odd, I was reading a net poll of top three wishes, and “ability to speak with fish” didn’t even rank. Surprising. Methinks I should hire my own AquaPR firm to win the battle for hearts and minds.
Till next time, this is your pal,
AQUAMAN!
Dave! you beat me too it, I thought for sure Ted was 95% whiskey. I like the minesweeper idea. What say we all get Kerry’s email address from congress and write “Are You F–king Kidding Us, F–king Goob?” in the subject line.
Nikolai-
You forgot to add up the gallons sloshing around in his massive stomach…
Gallons of what? Innocent blood?
Havnt we had enough already
Aquaman,
Can we get sharks with fricking laser guns on their heads?
Aquaman, you could hire Bob Shrum to do your PR. I hear he’s available.
Hey Aquaman. I don’t think the shark plan would work. My homies tell me Kennedys’ chum trail smells like crap. We’re keeping an eye out for Chin “The Gigilo” though. It would be fun to watch him try to sailboard on two bloody stumps!
It’s been a long time since we sent any government officals into space. Maybe it’s time to put Mr. Kerry and his companion onto a space shuttle and drop them off at the Mir Space Station. Eventually we’d have to go get them, but if we the people insist on the Senate having a 2/3’s majority to bring them back, that could seriously lengthen their stay.
I wonder if Maureen Dowd would go along as the fight attendent. The three of them deserve each other.
It’s been a long time since we sent any government officals into space. Maybe it’s time to put Mr. Kerry and his companion onto a space shuttle and drop them off at the Mir Space Station. Eventually we’d have to go get them, but if we the people insist on the Senate having a 2/3’s majority to bring them back, that could seriously lengthen their stay.
I wonder if Maureen Dowd would go along as the fight attendent. The three of them deserve each other.
95% Whisky… that makes him 190 proof! Proof of patheticness.