Nothing gets between me and my Al Quds… well, except for a kilo of C-4

As comfortable as my Storytelling Pants are, apparently Muslims need a special pair of Islam Jeans to be comfy while praying now:

A new line of jeans designed by a small company in northern Italy caters to Muslims seeking to stay comfortable while they pray.
The bagginess is to ensure the wearer avoids stiffness while bending down repeatedly during prayers. The pockets are for holding all the accessories Muslims have to take off while they worship. And the jeans have green seams — because green is the sacred color of Islam.
Al Quds representatives said a year of research and testing went into the product, with models being asked to try different versions of the jeans while they prayed.
Abdel Hamid Shaari, president of the Islamic Cultural Institute in Milan, said low-priced jeans specifically designed to keep Muslims comfortable could open up a big market in Islamic countries and countries with large Muslim populations.
Al Quds — the Arabic name for Jerusalem — has produced an initial 9,500 pairs that it sold to the French retailer Carrefour SA. The retailer has sold an initial batch of about 50 pairs of jeans at a low promotional price of Ä18.90 ($22.53) in its centers in Italy, company officials said. Corradi said the regular price would be Ä25 ($30.44).

So what slogan will they use to market the Al Quds jeans?
My suggestions:

  1. “Occupy my territory.”
  2. Don’t you want to Al-Aqsa me about my Al Quds?”
  3. “Jeans to die for.”
  4. “Is that a lump of C-4 in your Al Quds, or are you just happy to see me?”
  5. “They’ll have to kill me at Gitmo before I’ll give up my Al Quds.”
  6. “Baby, don’t go putting up a Separation Barrier around my Al Quds.”
  7. “You don’t have to ask the waqf to get into my Al Quds.”
  8. “Not even an explosion can rip these seams.”

What do you think?

18 Comments

  1. Splodeydopes, envio-wackos – no wonder I don’t like the color green.
    I just hope they don’t have any of those al Dockers commercials with a bunch of jihadis lounging around talking about becoming shaheeds.

  2. Isn’t this just another name for good ‘ole U.S. “gangsta crack pants”? Just what we need…mooselimbs showing their butt cracks during prayer (possibly a ploy to open up the gay porn industry to the Middle East?).

  3. Wow! Then New York State must really be sensitive to the Muslims feelings. We dress all our Muslim inmates (and non-Muslim ones for that matter) in GREEN!!! And most of them tend to like wearing their pants baggy. And the pants have pockets. We were WAY ahead of this Italian company – we’ve been doing this for YEARS…

  4. “Al Quds… More comfortable than Semtex.”
    “Al Quds…covering the true Fertile Crescent since 2006.”
    “I racked my brain, I ran out of ideas, and I even tried to get Syria-s, but I couldn’t come up with a better slogan.”
    “Al Quds. Buy them or we’ll blow up your skyscrapers.”
    “Coming soon – Al Qud brand sneakers with patented C4 filler. They’ll blow you away.”

  5. The pockets are for holding all the accessories Muslims have to take off while they worship.

    They can fit shoulder-fired rockets in there? And bomb belts?
    Some accessory-holder!
    Holy Moley!!
    Talk about drag-ass….

  6. “Don’t be an Al Dud, buy Al Quds!”…
    How the hell do arabs come up with such stupid names? ‘Al Qud’… I don’t care were you’re from, that sounds like what you’d say after eating a whole plate of rotten vegetables.

  7. What I’m curious to know is how are these pants going to work for them during Ramadan when they look for Allah’s return in their own excrement? Or will they return to the use of their traditional 7-Day sh*tters during that time?

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