Joanne Jacobs finally has her book out Our School : The Inspiring Story of Two Teachers, One Big Idea, and the School That Beat the Odds. The book follows the principal, teachers and students at Downtown College Prep, a San Jose charter high school that prepares students who are “failing but not in jail” to succeed at four-year colleges.
Joanne Jacobs was one of the first blogs to link to me, so I feel a plug for her book is the least I can do (those early links mean a lot when you’re starting a blog). To be honest, educational issues haven’t been by biggest interests, but I’m guessing that will change when I one day have kids (SarahK and I are pretty set on home-schooling; you haven’t seen algebra until you’ve seen Frank J. style algebra!).

Some people want to make it a felony to illegally enter this country. That’s crazy! Calling illegal aliens “felons” just gives them a sense of legitimacy. Who do you think of when you hear “felons”? Americans, that’s who (or possibly Australians). Instead, let’s just keep calling them “People Who Aren’t Supposed to Be Here” or simply “Mexicans.”

Everyone at Daily Kos is really angry about lots of stuff.

Okay, so after Dick Cheney’s list of hotel needs and requests got leaked to the press on The Smoking Gun, it only makes sense that John Kerry’s wishlist makes its way to TSG as well.
Here’s something odd. Let’s take a look at page 1:

Now let’s take a look at page 4:

And.

Wait a minute. Doesn’t John Kerry hate celery? And yet it’s requested right there on page 4! John Kerry is such a flip-flopper, he can’t even make up his mind on celery.
As for the despise of tomato-based products and sandwiches on page 1, he goes right ahead and asks for tomatoes as snacks on page 4. What has John Kerry got against tomatoes making a better life for themselves, branching out from their raw, unfulfilled potential into the wide range of tomato-based products and sandwiches we have today? He’s keeping the hardworking tomato down, I say, locking out the tomato from sandwiching and processing opportunities.
Didn’t tomato-based products help to fund his presidential campaign? After all, his wife is the heiress to the Heinz fortune, is she not?
If tomato-based products are good enough to pay the bills, then I believe they should be good enough to participate in the campaign. To deny them a seat on the bus is just as bad as my pointing to Right Wing Duck and saying “See? How could I possibly hate Mexicans? Right Wing Duck is a friend.”
Or something like that.
You know, when I think tomato-based products, I think Chef Boyardee and Franco-American. Chef Boyardee was famous for developing canned tomato and pasta products to support our troops in World War II and Franco-American has American in its name.
Does John Kerry not support our troops?
Does John Kerry not support our Franco-America?
Most of all, how dare John Kerry deny the greatness that is the BLT, the cornerstone of the USA’s diet.
You know, America was built on a foundation of celery and tomato-based products. To blithely hate celery, and yet keep it around as some kind of “token” vegetable for people to see him with, that’s just promoting a lie to pander to the Celery Vote.
And that’s how W. won in 2004: standing firm on the issues that matter to Americans most. America saw through Kerry’s treating celery as some sort of token vegetable, and they made their hatred of hypocrisy and exploitation known at the ballot box.

Bank Robbers from across the nation will gather today to hold a rally to protest some of the latest hate tactics perpetrated by evil conservative Republicans. The plan calls for criminalizing and in this case, making it a felony to rob a bank. Said one congressman, “We’re tired of all this illegal activity.”
According to Jose Luis Gonzalez, a career bank robber, “This is hateful plain and simple. We’re just trying to feed our families. We’re not bank robbers. We’re undocumented withdrawers! The politicians are the real criminals.”
Remarked Jose Luis, “I can’t believe they would do this to me. Every time I break the law I’ll have to worry about the consequences. Now I have to live my life in fear”
Senator Hillary Clinton today held a press conference. “This seems wrong. Would we ask the Good Samaritan to not rob a bank? Would we ask Jesus not to rob a bank? This doesn’t seem like it would follow the Bible, which I think I read once.” Senator Clinton, who worships at the First Rainbow Church of the People, was deeply offended and called on those with similar beliefs to contribute money to her charity: Hillary for President 2008. There is no word on whether she might run for president.
Additionally, this bill would make it a crime to help bank robbers in the process of committing the crime. This change has many people riled up.
Said Jose Luis, “What about those people with no job skills? What are they supposed to do? What about those people whose only crime is to drive a getaway car? Are you going to put them in jail too? What have they done wrong?”
Roberto, a successful bank robber, can earn up to $1,200 on a good day. “I can’t make that kind of money robbing banks in Mexico.” This money of course is later circulated into the American Economy.
Without bank robbing, many of these young men would turn to more drastic forms of stealing such as spam, and running for congress.
According to Roberto, even the unsuccessful ones contribute to the economy. “Would those prison guards have jobs? Would they be able to do anything without the undocumented withdrawers? That’s all we’re saying.”
What is not widely known is just how dangerous this work can be. “We spent hours sitting in a dark cramped van waiting for the right heist.” In a tragic tragedy last week, three bank robbers perished while trying to case a joint. “This kind of thing should not happen in America. We couldn’t take care of them. They died in the back seat like some cheap date for Ted Kennedy. We had no place to take them!” Indeed, it is estimated that 1 out of every 3 bank robbers does not have healthcare coverage.
“We’re left to fend for ourselves and nobody cares about us!” says Carlos. “American is starting to become like other more hateful countries”.
Another robber, Carlos, was deported from Denmark. “They told me it was against the laws of their country to rob a bank. How dare they say that? Something is truly rotten in Denmark. Just because I’m in somebody else’s country how can that mean that I have to follow their laws?”
Carlos is now here in America and is very excited at President Bush’s new plan: The Bank Robbing Guest Robber Program.
The rally will be held at noon right outside First National Bank.

Here in Houston, we don’t get all activist and angry and stuff like Los Angeles and New York City and Washington do. People here have things like jobs and family lives to deal with. Despite having a very large Hispanic population, this whole Immigration Protest fad just isn’t catching on here.
We also don’t have idiots like this shouting at reporters looking for quick, clever soundbites to cram into their stories.

“When did you ever see a Mexican blow up the World Trade Center? Who do you think built the World Trade Center?” said David Gonzalez, 22

Yeah, breaking the back of the already-crippled healthcare system and school systems doesn’t matter. One symbolic act of terrorism and mass murder should be the basis of judging whether a growing illegal minority within our borders is a threat to the stability of our society and economy or not.
You know, Charles Manson didn’t blow up the World Trade Center. Let’s let him free. Same with Dan Rostenkowsi, Ken Lay, and Tookie Williams. (oops! Too late!)
The guy who nearly ran me over on the way to work this morning? I don’t think he was involved in blowing up the World Trade Center. I’ll forgive him for nearly splattering me across his hood and the street.
As for who actually built the World Trade Center? Easy: The Mafia, stupid.
Which is why the Freedom Tower project is running into delay after delay. You’ve got a Jewish developer arguing with a Jewish designer. Meanwhile, The Mafia sits on the insurance money and Uncle Sam’s pity money and gains interest on it.
Once they milk the project for as much as they can get out of it, then the World Trade Center will be rebuilt…
Just in time for the Mexicans to blow it up.

In the form of products you can buy!

Thanks to Doug from ThoseShirts.com for letting me use the image (did you order your military slogans shirt?).
I was going to announce that in the test newsletter lastnight, but I screwed that up. The official test newsletter will instead come out later this week with a teaser of information to expect from future newsletters.
Anyway, you’ll notice the IMAO store link on the right sidebar [Ed: that’s the left sidebar, which is Frank’s other right.], so go buy IMAO products to help support your IMAO friends who all really need money (except for cadet happy; he’s a bloodsucking lawyer). And keep checking back as we add new products.