Everything You’ve Always Wanted to Know About Instapundit, But Were Too Afraid to Ask

(A Filthy Lie)
Sure, you know about the puppy blending, hobo-murdering, Satan-worshipping, commie praising, robot dancing, Frank J. punching, and penguin porn, but here are some things you DIDN’T know about Glenn Reynolds:


  • Glenn Reynolds can crash you server just by thinking about linking to you.
  • Glenn Reynolds writes Garfield fan-strips, all of which end with Odie getting stuffed into a blender.
  • They’re STILL less predictable than the ones Jim Davis writes.
  • You know that asteroid belt between Mars & Jupiter? That used to be a planet until Glenn Reynolds thought about linking to it.
  • The KKK was completely harmless until Glenn Reynolds suggested that they put eye-holes in their hoods.
  • Spammers originally got the idea for sending out a million e-mails per day by watching Glenn Reynolds post at Instapundit.
  • It was Glenn Reynolds who first said to William Hung – “You’ve got talent. Go audition for American Idol.”
  • Satan’s biggest fear is that he’ll have to spend eternity with Glenn Reynolds after he dies.
  • Glenn Reynolds’ glasses are the only thing keeping his laser vision from incinerating the universe.
  • Glenn Reynolds once deflected a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick by thinking about linking to it.
  • Glenn Reynolds murdered Socrates by telling him his cup of hemlock was actually a Starbucks Iced White Chocolate Macchiato
  • Nuclear bombs fear Glenn Reynolds going off on them.
  • There’s more than one way to skin a cat, and they were all discovered by Glenn Reynolds.
  • Glenn Reynolds is the leader of the terrorist group Hehmas.
  • One drop of Glenn Reynolds’ bath water contains enough residual evil to de-sanctify Vatican City.
  • Puppy blood is the secret ingredient in Insta-Cola.
  • When CNN interviews Glenn Reynolds, they have to put special filters on the camera lenses, lest TV viewers be turned to stone.
  • As for the fate of the audience in the studio… now you know where garden gnomes come from.
  • Glenn Reynolds’ remote control only has one button. When he presses it, his TV automatically tunes to the evilest show available.
  • Usually “Full House“.
  • Glenn Reynolds’ printer is a Hewlett-Packed BloodJet model 900.
  • Spelling “Glenn Reynolds” on a Scrabble board will summon the demon Atazoth who – legends say – will exact retribution on the Overworld by getting Hillary elected in ’08.
  • Google recently changed their motto to “Don’t be Glenn Reynolds”.
  • Glenn Reynolds personally hand-stitched Janet Jackson’s Superbowl outfit.
  • The blind leading the blind isn’t so bad… Glenn Reynolds likes leading them into traffic during rush hour.
  • In Glenn Reynolds’ DVD collection, “Schindler’s List” is filed under “Comedy”, right between “Saw 2” and “Scream”.
  • Glenn Reynolds taught Senator Palpatine how to do that fingertip-lightning thing.
  • The Lemarchand Box in “Hellraiser” is a device used by Cenobites to summon Glenn Reynolds.
  • Glenn Reynolds never thought about linking to Martha Stewart, but he DID send her an e-mail on December 26, 2001, that was completly blank except for the word “Sell”.
  • Glenn Reynolds introduced Bill to Monica.
  • Good things come to those who wait – unless Glenn Reynolds steals them first.
  • Glenn Reynolds never actually punched Frank J. – he got Frank J. to punch himself by thinking about linking to him.

I wonder what would happen if I spelled “Frank J.” on a Scrabble board…

IMAO: PRESS RELEASE: IMAO Is Still a Group Blog

Remember this post?
IMAO: PRESS RELEASE: IMAO Is Now a Group Blog
1 Year, 1 Month, 1 Day and a few hours later and we are still going strong. Yeah, it has been THAT long since IMAO became a group blog. Am I the only one to notice?
What a year and change it has been. Frank and Sarah got married, Ducky’s got a new baby, we started podcasting, and a whole lot of other stuff, funny stuff, happened too.
What was your favorite thing that happened here during the past year, month, day and few hours?