We’re back. Kellie Pickler’s back. I wanna hear about your suntan and your calamari.
Archive of entries posted on 7th March 2006
Democrats Need a Direction
Despite missteps by the Republicans and the Bush Administration, Democrats have not been able to make any gains since they lack a direction. To help, I shall give the Democrats a direction:
The No Humor Man
While letting Ismail Haniyeh know that he’ll be seeing Ahmed Yassin and Abdel Rantissi soon, this interesting bit of information as slipped into the news report:
“No one is immune,” Mofaz told Army Radio, a day after an Israeli airstrike on an ice cream truck killed two Islamic Jihad militants and three bystanders in Gaza City. Two of those killed were aged 8 and 14.
This begs the question: what flavor of ice cream does Islamic Jihad sell?
yo, MC GWB locks and popps in da third world hood ya’ll
Because of the Solomon Amendment
The Europeans are good at smashing things
Since the Europeans have had recent successes smashing expensive equipment into other planets, it comes as no surprise to me that the ESA is now planning a “smash expensive equipment on the moon” mission:
Scientists are plotting out a “crash course” in learning what happens when a European lunar probe slams into the Moon.
The European Space Agency’s (ESA) SMART-1 spacecraft–now circling the Moon–is headed for a planned early September impact with Earth’s celestial neighbor.
The ESA probe would plow into the lunar surface, giving it a glancing blow as it speeds in at nearly 5,000 miles per hour (2 kilometers per second).
No word if Frank J. managed to sneak “that special package” aboard SMART-1 before it launched. I guess we’ll find out when we see a huge mushroom cloud afro on the Man In The Moon.
What I want to know is what has SMART-1 been doing all this time? It’s not like you hear about it i nthe news with “SMART-1 discovered this” and “SMART-1 discovered that” like we were hearing about the Mars Rovers 24/7.
Outfitted with miniaturized instruments, SMART-1’s goal has been to gauge key chemical elements in the lunar surface, as well as look into the theory that the Moon was formed following the violent collision of a smaller planet with Earth long ago.
ESA’s lunar probe completes a loop around the Moon every five hours–but that’s about to end later this year.
Aha. Now I see. I forgot that SMART-1 is a European probe. As we all know, just like Kansas, Science takes a backseat to Politics when it comes to Europe. So there can be only one conclusion: It’s been scanning the lunar surface for a McDonalds to slam into and destroy.
“Do McDonalds burn in the lunar atmosphere?” will finally be answered. Bully for the ESA!
Argument Clinic – 2006
(news article link via Beth of Yeah, Right, Whatever)
81-year-old Myron Manders was listed by the Social Security Administration as being dead.
His showing up the SSA office to correct the error was insufficient to prove to them otherwise.
A transcript of the discussion – as captured by SSA security tapes of the incident – follows in the extended entry (with apologies to Monty Python)…
IMAO – Now With More Estrogen!
Since Frank J. has finally seen fit to show his dainty side, I figure it’s only fair that I should share the fact that – despite my gruff and bushy-faced exterior – I am actually a model of caring, sensitivity, and empathy. Princess Cat of A Swift Kick & A Band-Aid has the TMI 411 on why I’m such a hit with the ladies.