As comfortable as my Storytelling Pants are, apparently Muslims need a special pair of Islam Jeans to be comfy while praying now:

A new line of jeans designed by a small company in northern Italy caters to Muslims seeking to stay comfortable while they pray.
The bagginess is to ensure the wearer avoids stiffness while bending down repeatedly during prayers. The pockets are for holding all the accessories Muslims have to take off while they worship. And the jeans have green seams — because green is the sacred color of Islam.
Al Quds representatives said a year of research and testing went into the product, with models being asked to try different versions of the jeans while they prayed.
Abdel Hamid Shaari, president of the Islamic Cultural Institute in Milan, said low-priced jeans specifically designed to keep Muslims comfortable could open up a big market in Islamic countries and countries with large Muslim populations.
Al Quds — the Arabic name for Jerusalem — has produced an initial 9,500 pairs that it sold to the French retailer Carrefour SA. The retailer has sold an initial batch of about 50 pairs of jeans at a low promotional price of Ä18.90 ($22.53) in its centers in Italy, company officials said. Corradi said the regular price would be Ä25 ($30.44).

So what slogan will they use to market the Al Quds jeans?
My suggestions:

1. “Occupy my territory.”
2. Don’t you want to Al-Aqsa me about my Al Quds?”
3. “Jeans to die for.”
4. “Is that a lump of C-4 in your Al Quds, or are you just happy to see me?”
5. “They’ll have to kill me at Gitmo before I’ll give up my Al Quds.”
6. “Baby, don’t go putting up a Separation Barrier around my Al Quds.”
7. “You don’t have to ask the waqf to get into my Al Quds.”
8. “Not even an explosion can rip these seams.”

What do you think?

In Bush’s press conference today, crazy-crazy Helen Thomas asked why we went to war. Has everyone really forgot the reasons for the Iraq war already? In case you did, here they are:
THE REASONS FOR THE WAR IN IRAQ
* We suspected Saddam had WMDs, and were as disappointed as everyone else when we found out he was just talking big.
* Iraq has conspired with terrorist organizations, and, frankly, we don’t like those. No, sir, we don’t like them one bit.
* Couldn’t stand Saddam and just couldn’t wait to chase out of his fancy-smancy palaces into a hole in the ground.
* The Iraqi people – at least those not trying to blow us up – want freedom… if they know what’s good for them! :: shakes fist ::
* Iraq is right next to Syria and Iran, and everyone knows they’re our real targets.
And, of course, the main reason for war…

Continue reading ‘War Within Reason’ »

North Korea is now threatening us pre-emptive strike capability with their nuclear weapons. When are those people going to get it through their poofy hair that we just don’t care? We don’t find them threatening at all. With all the other things we have to worry about, why would North Korea think we care about their nuke threats?
Convert to Islam, then call us back.

I always figured it would be a state of chaos or a state of confusion, but a state of alert over bird flu is good enough for me.

The Palestinian health service was placed on a state of alert in the wake of the outbreak of bird flu in Israel, prime minister Ahmed Qorei announced.
“The government has decided to decree a state of emergency. While we have not detected any cases ourselves, we must take all necessary precautions and use all means at our disposal to protect our people and avoid this epidemic affecting us,” the outgoing premier said after the weekly cabinet meeting.

Well, they wanted a state of their own, right? Now, after years of bloodshed and turning their kids into maniac deathcultist, they’ve finally got one.
Just be careful folding up that Road Map, guys. I hear it’s soaked with the same Zionist Mystery Poison that killed Arafat.
Now turn your head, Abdul, and cough. Oh, and try not to explode.

China is now rounding up bloggers. So far, it’s just Chinese bloggers, but who knows what is next. If I disappear, someone please check for me in China.