(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
Donald Rumsfeld was on the Hugh Hewitt show last week, and he mentioned blogs.
I hope that means he’ll be starting one soon.
I mean, sure, he’s done a great job as Secretary of Terrorizing Terrorists or whatever his title is, but he’s also a great communicator and his talent is being wasted.
If nothing else, at least he wouldn’t be a weepy little woman like Tony Snow.
Granted, it probably wouldn’t be the BEST blog in the world – just lots of pictures of him strangling journalists and hippies and feeding their twisted corpses to Chomps – but I’ll bet it would have a cool name, like maybe….
- Rumstapundit
- The Only Good Terrorist Is A Dead Terrorist, and the World Needs More Good Terrorists
- Shut Up! I’m Trying to Hegemonize!
- Hand Grenades In The Podium And Other Keys To A Successful Press Conference
- What Good Is Having Nukes If We’re Not Going To Use Them?
- I TOLD You Not To Listen To Colin Powell!
- I Don’t Want To Beat You To Death With Your Own Press Credentials, But I Will If I Have To
- Invade Their Country and Steal Their Oil – Solutions To Illegal Immigration
- KILL! KILL! KILL! – The Rumsfeld Doctrine Explained
- You Say “Torturing Terrorists” Like It’s a BAD Thing
- Five Point Palm Exploding Heart and Other Love Poems
- I Like You. I’ll Kill You Last
- I Miss Napalm
- I’m Only Wearing Glasses So That My Eyes Don’t Jump Out of My Head and Strangle You
- Pale Rider’s Adventures In Apocalyptic Horsemanship
- Kittens, Puppies, Rainbows, and Other Irritants
- Remember When I Said I’d Kill You Last?… I Lied
Or maybe he’ll just go with IMAO (Immolate Mutilate Annihilate Obliterate)
Any other guesses?
UPDATE: Apparently it’s called The Rumsfeld Strangler
Damn all cool blog names, can I borrow a few? Don’t forget my personel favorites!
“If you love something set it free, if it dosen’t come back, hunt it down and kill it”
Thermo-nuclear the right choice!
Chuck Norris IS AFRAID of me!!!
Outa here
WK
The Rumsville Gazette
Day 3: You know what sucks about Movable Type? There’s no ‘bomb them back to the stone age’ button.
Day 2: Indeed.
Day 1:
Here’s a known known for you kids, I will kick Colin Powell’s ass the next time I see him.
Hmm! A little free association. Let’s see.
Rumsfeld pundit
Rumstapundit
Rumplestiltskin
Crumpled Foreskin
Rumsfeld’s Foreskin
I have it!
Rumsfeld’s foreskin, and other unmentionable plots.
The Don of Civilization
Uh-huh…I’m aimin’ ta kill ya with it.
Hello Daisies. I’m “Cutter”.
Since the government is still trying to get rid of hundreds of tons of Vietnam-era napalm, lets have Rummy deliver it to Iran. He could just lob it in their direction.
What would a Rumsfeld authored “In My World” be like?
Heh. Indeed.
I’m Donald Rumsfeld and I Wrote These Posts
Now that Tony Snow has done the nice cop thing isn’t it time for “Rummy” to storm the next press conference with killing and guts and such? I vote for punching David Gregory first. Helen Thomas has already been hit with the ugly stick…hard…several times…really hard…over and over again!!!
“Known Knowns, Known Unknowns, and Unknown Unknowns”
actually, I prefer:
“This Is My Boomstick”
“Go ahead…make my day”
“Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?”
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya”
On the heels of Gollios:
“Good… Bad… I’m the Guy With the Gun”
During the deadlock over John Bolton’s nomination to be our U.N. ambassador I proposed nominating Bruce Campbell instead.
Amb. Bruce’s opening remarks:
“Allright, you primitive screwheads listen up!”
On promoting U.S. trade:
“That’s right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids Michigan. It’s got cobalt blue steel, a walnut stock, and a hair trigger. That’s right, shop Smart. Shop, U.S. Mart. Ya got that?!”
On old Europe:
France: “But you found us beautiful once…”
Amb. Bruce: “Baby, you got real ugly…”
“IMAO (Immolate Mutilate Annihilate Obliterate)”
Is that what IMAO actually stands for? I have been wondering.
I thought it was:
In My @sshole Opinion
Not that I agree with the “a” part since I’m so far to the right I make Bush look like a democrat! 🙂
Aaron,
Right now, Mr. Amnesty is making himself look like a Democrat.
Yeah, Aaron, Bush is so liberal-whacko cut-taxes-and-spend-anyway crazy-open-borders-nice-guy, he makes John McCain look conservative!
And Just Curious, IMAO actually stands for nothing. One day, when it got popular, somebody was like, “hey what does that stand for?” And Frank J. thought he’d be cool and say “I’m not telling you, na, na na, na boo, boo!” Nowadays he’s resorted to making us sign up for his newsletter, promising us he’ll tell us, but he never will. Because it doesn’t actually mean anything. There you have it.
Oh, and Harvey, your blog names are funny, but incredibly long. I know that’s applying realism to humor, but that’s where my unfunniness on my “humor” blog comes from, I suppose. Some of my own:
SmackDonald’s
RummyDoom (like Rubix Cube)
Rumsfeld’s Rants that Reek of Right-wing Ramblings and Retro-empiricism with Really Rageful Rhetoric
The meaning of IMAO is a matter of national security and anyone who leaks the truth will be hung for treason.
Blue Square – yeah, I know they’re long, but Rummy’s new to this blogging thing, and he doesn’t know any better.
Either that or coming up with short ones is really hard and I’m really lazy.
Uh. I pick the second explanation, Harv.
Whatever the blog is called, I don’t think you want to get caught in a Rummylanche.
Rummy’s blog:
Walk softly and carry a big Nuke or
We have met the enemy and he is YOU or
You can have my country when you pry my cold dead fingers from around your throat. (yeah I know it’s long but it’s also late and I’m medicated)
To MOAB or not to MOAB..that is the question?
WK
Names, names, names….
Chuck Norris’ Daddy.
Fear the Reaper
The Mother of all Bloggers
Pent-a-gonna kick yer *ss
He who will be obeyed
Infalliblog
— Sneering at Critics since 1932
Hertikol882= A$$hol*