Most blogs started as online diaries, but I don’t usually blog about myself because my life is not particularly interesting. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, then sleep — what’s to say? Still, in the interest of more content, I’ll just try and blog what’s on my mind.
Anyway, it’s been a troubling time for me. The city ended up building a zoo next to my house. Now, when I look out my bedroom, I see a chain link fence, and, just beyond that, the monkey cages. During the day, it’s constant screeching. The monkeys just scream all day long. You’d think their voices would get hoarse, but they screech from sun up to sun down.
At night it’s worse, though. At night, they are completely silent. They don’t even move. And when I look out my window while lying in bed, all I see are these unblinking eyes staring right at me. Every time I look, they do nothing but stare. I don’t know what’s going through their wretched monkey minds, but all night their gaze is upon me. I try not to look, but I can’t help it. There, reflecting the moonlight, are all those inhuman eyes upon me.
One night, I went to bed as usual and looked out and saw those horrible eyes. Getting somewhat used to it, I eventually fell asleep. I awoke at about three in the morning for no particular reason. When I looked out the window, the eyes were gone. I saw nothing but the dark of night. And then I heard a noise in the house. I found nothing awry, but, needless to say, I got no more sleep that night.
I don’t like monkeys.
It could be worse, you could be living in the People’s Republic of San Francisco. I’ve heard the screeching is pretty bad there, too.
You should suggest/demand that the zoo buy noise pollution offsets from you.
Well since you’re just sitting around contemplating the monkey overthrow of the free world, why don’t you just be a dear, and pass on my email to the MN commenters that will be at the Tax Rally next Saturday. We’ll have coffee.
finally the truth!
now we know why you’re leaving florida.
Keep some torches handy, and build a circle of firewood around your bed. When they attack, and you know they will, set fire to the wood, and open fire center mass on any pair of eyes that appears in the firelight. It’s your only hope.
Like this is going to change in Austin? There, it’ll just be hippies with blunts.
Your lapse in surveillance by falling asleep allowed the monkeys time to don their ninja outfits – that’s why you couldn’t see them any more.
Boy, are you in for it now. You better hope they can’t fly, too….
That’s not a zoo, that’s the democratic party headquarters. Now you know who those beady little eyes belong to. Sleep tight old boy. trust me, they’re there for your own gold, err good.
I think Evil Scary Monkey has finally gotten his revenge. He will escape and eat your eyeballs turn them into poo and then throw it at you.