lolterizt!

By now you’re probably familiar with the lolcats phenomenon, where pictures of cats are captioned with a something best described as a cross between l33t-speak and Engrish.
Or perhaps you’ve seen the spinoffs: lolbird, loldog, and/or lolhamster.
Well, it just seems wrong to me to be making fun of innocent animals like that.
So I’ll be making fun of guilty animals, i.e. terrorists.
Or terizts, as it were:


im in ur mosk.jpg
terizt sad.jpg
laff at mah eye.jpg
needz urnium.jpg
oh noes lazer.JPG
halp terizt.jpg


If this amuses you for some strange reason, I can probably make some more.

Mountaineer Musings Is Temporarily Down

I keep getting e-mails, but SarahK has not sold her domain name. The people at Hosting Matters are working hard on getting things fixed at mountaineermusings.com, but you can catch a text version at sarahk.us if you’re in need of an immediate SarahK fix.
UPDATE:
Is good now!

Action Alert!

The Senate is going to vote on the amnesty bill again, so it’s time to call your Senators and tell them what you think. Tell them that, if they vote for the bill, not only will you not vote for them and not donate money to their campaigns, you’ll hunt down and kill anyone planning on voting for them and break into their campaign headquarters and steal their money, thus costing them even more votes and money. That will get them to pay attention.
BTW, if any of you do make any illegal threats, make sure to explicitly state that you have no association with IMAO, the most law-abiding blog out there.

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

If you play the song “I Feel Pretty” backwards and listen carefully, you can hear the sound of John Edwards preening.

A Frank Solution to Violence in the Middle East

After much analyzation of the problems in the Middle East and all the violence there, I think I’ve come upon a simple solution: Remove all the Muslims.
Isn’t it short-sighted to blame Islam for violence in the Middle East? Isn’t, in fact, the culture in the Middle East to blame for much of the problems?
That’s a good point. There are many peaceful, successful Muslims who live in America (which is another argument why relocating is good for Muslims). Still, this all comes down to an issue of practicality, and the fact is it’s feasible for us to move a large number of Muslims, but we have no idea how to move a culture.

Just throw a dart and where it lands will be Mecca. If you hit a body of water, optionally throw again.

Won’t Muslims be resistant to being moved from their holy land, especially Mecca?
Tell me where in the Bible it says you can’t relocate Mecca. I think we can make this a peaceful move. Let’s use cruise ships to move the Muslims, because who is going to refuse the offer of a free cruise? We can fill the cruise ships with things Muslims love to do, such as giving them inflatable Jews to kill.
Where would me move the Muslims to?
I’m thinking Europe. A lot of Muslims have already moved there, so it won’t take much adjusting for the new arrivals.
Won’t we just have violence coming out of Europe, then?
Europe is nice; it will be such a relief after the harsh desert living that I’m sure all the Muslims will calm down and learn to be friends with each other without killing.
What about the Europeans?
We’ll send them to the Middle East.
Won’t they be resistant to that?
They’re a bunch of wusses. We’ll just slap them around a bit and they won’t put up a fight.
And you’ll think they’ll be fine in the Middle East?
They are kinda useless, so I would expect a number of them to die from the harsh desert living… but circle of life and all that. The survivors better learn how to get us our oil before we get mad, though.
And what if the Europeans in the Middle East are resistant to giving us oil?
Then we bomb the crap out of them; let’s not make this more complicated than it is.
Seems like you thought of everything.
I always do. So let’s get moving on this and get us some peace, yo.

War with Venezuela? That Could Nearly Fill a Slow News Day

“I am mighty!”

Hugo Chavez is making noise that he’s preparing for a military conflict with the U.S. Tiny ‘tator Hugo has trouble being that threatening so he hangs out with places like Iran so he’ll seem scarier. It’s like if the Riddler hung out with Lex Luthor and Dr. Doom so people might think he’s some sort of international threat.
Anyway, just in case a conflict breaks out, we should learn what we can about Venezuela. Here’s what I know:
* Venezuela is in South America. That means it’s to the south of us. If you take out a compass, whichever way the needle points, Venezuela is in the opposite direction.
* Venezuela is spelled with a ‘V’, and is the only country whose name starts with a ‘V’… that I can think of. Oh, wait, Vietnam. Venezuela is one of only two countries which name starts with a ‘V’. The letter ‘V’ is the Roman numeral for five and this Roman numeral is closely related to the least memorable of the Rocky movies.
* Apparently there is oil in Venezuela, or, at least, under its ground.
I guess that’s all I know about Venezuela off hand. Hope that helps.

FredOn

Expect to see this ad played over and over at every single commercial break:

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

Fred Thompson once crocheted a working firearm.