Outrage!

Fred Thompson has a blog now, and I’m not on the blogroll! I know I shouldn’t tell Fred Thompson what to do, but whoever is responsible for this outrage should be obliterated using Fred Thompson’s Fred Thompson powers.

Let’s Reflect for a Moment on How Awesome America Is

According to this report from FoxNews.com, it looks like Asia is on the way to becoming one big sausage fest. Sometimes it seems like the entire world is completely screwed up except for the U.S. of A. We may have many problems of our own, but it’s good to take some time to reflect on how awesome America is:
ADVANTAGES AMERICA HAS OVER ALL OTHER COUNTRIES
* We’re the richest.
* We’re the smartest (we have the smartest people that is; I don’t give a rat ass what our average test scores are as long as we still get the cream of the crop).
* We’re the freest (freedom of speech — we invented the internet — freedom of self-defense, economic freedom, etc.).
* Our military can easily defeat any other military out there.
* We’re the most diverse.
* We respect women’s rights.
* We’re still serious enough a people to kill criminals who need a kill’n.
* We have the best TV shows and movies.
* Despite our wealth, we have lots of yummy cheap food (yay 99 cent menus!).
* Despite all our technological progress, we still have some of the best natural beauty in our national parks.
* We just generally kick ass.
* I live here.
What are your favorite awesome things about America?

Who Hasn’t Dreamed of Rolling Up a Newspaper and Hitting a Senator on the Head?

No! Bad Senate! Stay out of the amnesty!

The Senate is going to try and pass an amnesty bill again much like the dog is going to keep getting into the trash no matter how much you beat him the last time. That’s no good. We have to get it in all the Senators’ head that there is no touching amnesty until border security is taken care of. So what we need is someone in the Senate to smack the other Senators on the nose every time they stare at the trash bring up amnesty.
Now, I’m not familiar with Senate rules, but can someone make it his job to yell at the Senators anytime they stray from border security to amnesty?

SENATOR: We need to welcome our undocumented citizens and…
TRAINER: That doesn’t sound like that’s about border security. No amnesty crap until you handle border security.
SENATOR: Excuse me, but I’m a U.S. Senator, and immigrants…
TRAINER: You’re still not talking about border security.
SENATOR: Hey, the…
TRAINER: I swear, the next words out of your mouth better be either “fence,” “border patrol,” or “land mines” or you’re going to be spitting teeth!

He may need to physically strike some of the Senators, so he’ll have to check the Senate rules on that. If whoever reads the rules says that’s not allowed, he may have to physically strike that guy too.
I’ve always said politics could use more hitting.

IMAO Condensed: Terrorism

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

The Qur’an says that if you touch pork you will be unclean and if you touch Fred Thompson you’ll be dead.

Enunciating Sunbats of the Iraqiwood Right

With all the annoyance caused by the barking moonbats of the Hollywood left protesting the war (or even worse – doing their version of “supporting the troops”), I sometimes wonder if the terrorists have this problem.
I have this mental image of freshly-bathed, cleanly-shaven men dressed in business suits & shiny shoes, carrying neatly-lettered signs while standing out of the way of both automobile and pedestrian traffic. I can just imagine what slogans they would use to undermine terrorist morale…


  • The Koran says that Muslims can’t lick Bush!
  • No blood for Sharia!
  • We support our terrorists when they blow up their Imams!
  • War is unhealthy for children and other living things that the Prophet Mohammed had sex with!
  • Bush is a terrorist – and much better at it than you!
  • What if they held a war and nobody came? The insurgency STILL wouldn’t stand a chance, that’s what!
  • Cowardly tools of Iran! Why are you licking Ahmadinejad’s boots? Tastes great, or less filling?
  • Suicide bombing is stupid! Americans can make munitions faster than we can make babies!
  • The insurgency’s plan:
    1) Set off IED’s
    2) ????
    3) Caliphate!
  • America sees more from a satellite than Allah can protect from Heaven!
  • Peace now!
    Stop the war!
    Buy some whiskey!
    And a whore!
    I really hope the US wins,
    ’cause they let me have my sins!
  • Better to live in Guantanamo than die in an airstrike!
  • Either learn to say “I surrender!” in English or “I’ve been hit!” in Arabic!
  • Car-bombing citizens to win popular support is like screwing for virginity!
  • Iraq today: Bush’s Vietnam
    Iraq tomorrow: Bush’s Hiroshima

Wonder what the sunbat version of Daily Kos would be like?