What to Do About Berkeley

With the Berkeley City Council voting that Marines are not wanted in the city and Code Pink harassing the recruiters, something obviously must be done. My suggestion is that the Marines shoot a few of the protesters. It’s not like those ninnies could do anything in response other than die or flee. Perhaps that will help the people of Berkeley learn the importance of military might and how those who don’t have it can easily be pushed around.
Some would say that the Marines should just move out of Berkeley and raze the city to the ground (it’s not like we’d miss it since Berkeley doesn’t produce anything other than smelly hippies), but that seems to me to be admitting defeat.

61 Comments

  1. Removing oneself from the line of fire before unleashing devastation that would be legendary in hell is not admitting defeat. It just makes good sense. Set it up on Pay-Per-View and let the Marines have a hell of a party off of the money that gets made. I know I would watch.

  2. Remember history. The Romans leveled Carthage, killed almost everyone and sold the few survivors into slavery
    After that, they decided to rebuild the salted wreckage into a loyal and prosperous Roman city. Rome always seemed to have some good ideas. 🙂

  3. That’s too direct and insufficient, Frank. We need more collateral damage, to wit:
    1. Cut off federal funds to Berkeley.
    2. Federal marshalls arrest & prosecute city officials.
    3. Code Pink people get tasered and are carted off in wheel barrows.
    4. Marines stand guard with loaded weapons with signs on their chests saying, “Go ahead, make my day.”
    All on live TV, of course, as in Texaspartan’s suggestion.

  4. Pull out, quarantine the city and set up a video feed to all the elementary schools in the country. Inside two weeks it will look like the road warrior and a generation of children will get to see liberal policies in action.

  5. Senator DeMint is already trying to eliminate $2.1 million in federal funds for Berkeley.
    http://www.balloon-juice.com/?p=9595
    Write and urge your senators and congressmen to support this. Berkeley has about 100,000 people, so it’s only $21 per person; on the other hand, it’s $21 per person that won’t be spent on marijuana, crack, or tie-dyed t-shirts, which is a good start. It’s also $21 that won’t be spent on personal hygiene, but that would be the case whether Berkeley got the money or not.

  6. One word answer: Soap.
    Build an giant inflatable bar of soap, and float it overhead. The Hippies will blanch and refuse to get under it lest their nemeses dread cleanliness visit them like the plague.
    I would also get a bubble machine. I would make the sign ‘soap bubble machine’ highly visible.
    Hippies will avoid the place like pernicious anemia.

  7. We should broadcast to all terrorists that the city of Berkeley is no longer under our protection. It would be like the village in The Three Amigos except Chevy Chase wouldn’t show up in a sombrero to save them.

  8. I’d rather be a conservative nutjob than a liberal moron. At least I know I need people with guns to defend me. Maybe we should send all the terrorists we capture there.
    I really liked the quote the Marines put up in the window from the 19th century British philosopher John Stuart Mill:
    War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things; the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feelings which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse.

  9. Put up a big movie screen outside the recruiting office. Show the first half of “Full Metal Jacket” all day. Right after Pvt Pyle shoots R Lee Ermey and himself on the screen, have a Marine dressed in his underwear walk outside with an M-14 and blow one hippie away.
    When all the hippies are standing there around their dead comrade waiting for the Marine to kill himself, as Pvt Pyle did in the movie, have the Marine pick off another hippie.
    Then, all the Marines could run outside and point at the second dead hippie and shout “You’re Punk’d!” and laugh.
    Restart the movie and do it all over again.

  10. A wall should be built around Berkley and only those who can prove they have common sense as well as respect and gratitude for those who have fought and died for their ability to be terminally stupid can leave.
    Into this encampment of left wing liberal whack-jobs we should put the detainees from Gitmo. Lets see how tolerant and compassionate these people are after they’ve dealt with Muhammaud and his cabal, beating them up, raping their women and forcing them to bow to Allah. MIght make them a little more interested in the whole Freedom and Liberty deal. If they survive that is.
    Then MAYBE we could send in the hated Marines to save their sorry, skinny, worthless butts. Or not.

  11. Since the government can’t do anything other than deny Federal funds and/or assistance to Berkeley, I suggets a “Militia” action to show the City and it’s occupants the inmportence or Patriotism and loyalty. The foreig terrorists already know that places like Berkeley, Vermont, San Francisco and Boston are on thgeir side and hate America as much as the Islamists do. These places must be treated the same as the Islamists.

  12. Frank, as a lone holdout of conservative ideas in San Francisco, I’d be more than happy to nab pictures, throw fruit, and punch hippies for you. Shoot me an email if you need any coverage of events in this den of insanity.

  13. I think it’s very silly behavior but the good people of Berkeley are free to protest the military should they choose. It’s not like there is really anyone to recruit there anyway – it’s Berkeley.

  14. I think a bunch of conservative hot chicks should just hang out in the area to counter the angry hairy arm pit crowd (and give those Berkeley boys some incentive to sign the dotted while they’re at it).
    At the very least, rub in what all they’re missing. 😉

  15. Certainly some of the police force are current or former Marines. I think the police force, in a show of solidarity, should leave the city with the Marines (I guess the Navy guys would have to go too). Advertise this development world-wide and then we could see how the peaceful people react with no armed defenders around.
    To be fair, the exiting armed forces people & police would need to take all the kids under 15 years of age into protective custody before they left.

  16. I was all for some of the “extreme” punishments that were suggested but then poor #17alone posted…
    I just feel so sorry for him.
    But if any tasering happens, be sure to get it on videotape for broadcast…my hubby can’t get enough of that stuff!

  17. From the halls of Montezuma To the shores of Tripoli [substitute Berkeley],
    We fight our countrys battles In the air, on land, and sea,
    First to fight for right and freedom , And to keep our honor [emphasize]CLEAN,
    We are proud to claim the title Of United States Marines.
    Our flags unfurl’d to every breeze From dawn to setting sun.
    We have fought in every clime and place Where we could take a gun. [Not sure about the legality of guns and Berkeley]
    In the snow of far-off northern lands And in sunny tropic scenes,
    You will find us always on the job – The United States Marines.
    Here’s health to you and to our Corps Which we are proud to serve;
    In many a strife we’ve fought for life And never lost our nerve.
    If the Army and the Navy Ever gaze on [substitute Telegraph’s Scenes]Heaven’s scenes,
    They will find the streets are guarded By United States Marines.
    Come on you sons of bitches! Do you want to live forever?
    Uncommon Valor is still a common virtue. I don’t expect the Marines to cut and run, but I would like to point out that it is not to late for the hippies to do what they do best. CUT AND RUN. Surrender now and you will be treated humanely by coalition forces.
    US Army PSYOPS LEAFLET: Tommorow at 9am you will experience the heaviest bombardment known to man. Surrender now or die later. [picture of B-52]

  18. #6 – Hell, they like to think of themselves as a separate country anyway…what are they doing collecting federal funds? I say make them live by their ideals…and no help from Mummy & Daddy Gubmint bailing out their worthless arses.
    I also like the giant bar of soap idea. The rest of California thanks you, citizens.

  19. You mean it is time to withdraw help from their other relative, Uncle [SAM]. What can I say, sometimes families splinter, especially when one of the kids goes smelly hippie.
    Can someone make me a country club T-Shirt or bumber sticker that says:
    Punching Hippies gave me Tennis Elbow.

  20. News Flash: The Missile Defense Agency admits there is a flaw in the Star Wars missile shield that could allow a conventional “enemy” rocket loaded with chemical weapons to penetrate the shield. Fortunately, this only affects the residents of Berkeley, CA and the US Marines are trained to fight on a chemical battlefield. Troubleshooters are working on the problem and should have a fix in place by 2037.

  21. What to do about Berkeley?????????
    Theres nothing we can to. These people are one of the largest gathering of human looking Yoda’s in the world. They are so much smarter than everyone else it’s not even funny. They know what’s best for everyone….. Wasn’t it the libtards who are always beating the “tolorence” drum. I guess you only have to be tolorent of people you agree with, how convenient for them!!

  22. Give every Marine with a UC Berkeley admissions letter a free ride scholarship. Lets start a fund. It is time to invade Berkeley, not cut and run in this American city. Take it back from the smelly hippies. Give every dime of federal funding [for Berkeley] to the Marine Corps Recruiters in town and let the Marines administer the school lunch program. Semper Fi school lunch boxes for poor kids and Kenpo classes for future recruits. I would let the Marine Recruiter budget every dollar of UC Berkeley funding to include Lawrence Livermore and all that. Make sure it is being spent wisely.

  23. #18 – Posted by: Bert on February 4, 2008 02:24 PM
    You’re absolutely wrong. They are free to protest, but NOT however they choose. To wit, see the following video (H/T: The Band of Mothers)
    http://www.bayareanewsgroup.com/multimedia/iba/2008/player/?f=0131_codepink
    By physically blocking ingress and egress to the recruiting station, these people are 100 percent guilty of treason as defined in Title 18 of the United States Code (I’ll leave the gopher work to you). They need to be arrested and prosecuted. You can be assured that if you or I did that to an abortion clinic, we’d be tried at high noon – and it’s not even officially against the law in that case.
    As for all the (nuke them from orbit/stop protecting them and notify bin Laden/give them the Gitmonauts/etc.) rhetoric, it sounds good but the best and most effective way to fight this fight is with money. I’m with De Mint on this one. Unfortunately, I’m a California resident so although I’ll call and write my senators and congressfolk, I don’t expect Feinswine or Boxer to swoop in and tell their hometown ilk to knock it off… sigh

  24. OSS (Officer Selection Services)/hippie reform school Berkeley Sector Mission Statement: We prepare hippies for Quantico and MCRD San Diego to reform them and make them understand the US Constitution. Our mission is vitally important because our smelly friends from Berkeley are usually too stoned to remember what the 2nd Amendment is all about. Call it rehab/reform school. Semper Fidelis/US Army Veteran

  25. Three words: Close air support. It would go something like this
    Hippie1: Hey what’s that in the sky?
    Hippie2: What, I can’t hear you through your stench, back up.
    Hippie1: errr, right. That thing up in the sky.
    Hippie2: ITS A CROSS! THE CHRISTIAN FASCISTS HAVE SUMMONED JESUS TO SMITE US! PREPARE TO WAFT TO STENCH, ITS THE ONLY WAY!
    Hippe1: I don’t think so, looking now its coming down at us. Why is its nose on…..
    (BWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP!)
    The 30mm DU, the most effective scum cleaner in the world. Brought to you by your friendly negihborhood A-10 Warthog, remember we don’t just kill tanks.

  26. After the video in #30, I think that good old fashion hippy punching is the only way to “discourage” this protest.
    I estimate that it would take two recruits about three minutes to turn the “protesters” into a wimpering pile of mush…very smelly mush.

  27. I am all for the Soap initiative. Maybe we could also get some Congressional funds to delouse the city and eradicate body odor. How about some ad buys on the local TV station emphasizing hygiene. We could deputize some upset residents to man a water cannon and bathe the hippies once a week, call it waterboarding with a purpose. God Bless. JW

  28. Books I would like to see written:
    1. How two Marines put down the Berkeley Rebellion. By Ollie North
    2. The Smelly Unauthorized History of Bezerkley. By Anne Coulter
    Documentaries I would like to see made:
    Bezerkley: A glimpse inside the mind of America’s Domestic and International Terrorists (remember Guzman–Shining Path?) By Foxnews

  29. #39 Is that a vote for a (1)Surface, (2) Sub-Surface, or (3) Atmospheric blast? Anything but sub-surface requires EPA approval and a lengthly public comment period. Also, please prepare a kiloton or megaton needs estimation with your proposal. We need it for the file. 🙂 Please clarify your policy recommendations. Regards, Joint commision on Ducks Unlimited and the National Security Council. Hard at work trying to nuke Berkeley, CA and protect our wetlands.

  30. No, the 24kt gold was found to be wasteful by both the Inspector General and Katie Couric, so we went with 14kt gold. Hey, what can I say George and Dick are repenting and returning to their somewhat conservative past. Lexicographers and style note: Under Clinton Gore we called that reinvention, now [under “conservative” rule]it is just repent. JW

  31. Did you know that there’s an atomic element named after Berkely? Yup! From Wiki:
    Berkelium is a synthetic element with the symbol Bk and atomic number 97. A radioactive metallic element in the actinide series, berkelium was first synthesized by bombarding americium with alpha particles (helium ions) and was named after Berkeley, California and the University of California, Berkeley. (emphasis mine)
    I say we dust the place with it.

  32. As much as I would love strafing protestors or spraying them down with laundry deteregent, I think there is a more effective option.
    Indeed a Turkish option.
    Who remembers the janisarries? (Malicious hand rubbing)
    Yes, abduct all the eighteen year olds of Berekely and gave them only the options of: Navy, Air Force, Army or America’s shock troopers the Marine Corp. I say give them and not just them all Marines, simply because not ever is made out to be one, some people ae just borne to be an Infantryman, Sailor, or Airman.
    Imagine the horror of those bastard when they realize they have been outflanked and their children are what they hate more than soap. (Evil Hillary cackle)

  33. In regards to #45, I think what you meant to say was:
    “Bring back the draft and stick the draft dodgers in prison.” Am I right?
    Well, seeing as Carter pardoned all of our traitors, it is not a bad idea to revisit their patriotism and give them another chance. Kill a commie for mommy.

  34. why not just wall the place off and then let the marine’s, and just for add ons the army, navy, and air force use the place as a certified live fire exercise training city, full of smelly hippie types in need of cleansing in a most righteous way. just think full street fighting mode is on. that would be some dam fine training……….

  35. I hear the hippies are scared of us (the right wing bloggers who lurk). The city council is considering backing down. Point your browser at the San Francisco Chronicle (an official propoganda site for smelly hippies). I imagine that the official surrender decleration from the hippies has already been sent to the Marines, but they forgot to CC me. hehehe. Can we still nuke em? hehe

  36. I think it time to draft some surrender terms for the Berkeley City Council. If they don’t agree to our Unfair, Unbalanced and Unmedicated terms, then give the JCS a green light to execute our plans for a full scale invasion of Berkeley complete with the forced entry (amphibious landing and vertical envelopement)options. Remind them that if they don’t sign on to allow follow on occupation forces then going house to house is still an option.
    CMC
    Headquarters Marine Corps
    3000 Marine Corps
    Pentagon 4B548
    Washington, DC 20350-3000
    Memorandum For Record
    TO: Berkeley City Council
    Surrender Terms:
    1. Pass city ordinances that promote hygiene, HACCP, and food safety regulations. Noting that pot brownies are really not that safe.
    2. Ban composting within the city limits.
    3. Give consumers a choice between paper and plastic.
    4. Give the US Marines a lease extension option for a term of their choosing.
    5. Allow Christian Missionaries to go door to door as they see fit.
    6. Feed your schoolchildren beef, chicken and pork daily. Reminder: Tofu is not chicken.
    7.Add your conservative agenda here
    Signed, (for) James T. Conway
    Commandant, USMC

  37. Education is the key: Prove to them that they’re misguided. Show them how they’re morally bankrupt. Subject their own families to their declarations for everyone else. Force them defend their own neighborhoods without firearms.
    Best of all, be a positive, loving & guiding force in their children’s lives… God knows that the parents won’t be if it’s inconvenient to their agendas.
    Lastly, forgive them if you can- but don’t ever forget.

  38. Send in the Marines to “bitch slap” every citizen of this vile community. Hummiliation is preferable to a quick death in this case. Then have the Marines bring in the Mick Lick mine clearing device and fire it off in every downtown street to introduce a bit of “shock and awe” to the people as a warning…

  39. Know what they produce in Berkeley besides smelly hippies? Nukes.
    That’s right. The Atomic F***ing Bomb. Invented in Berkeley. Youse could look it up, if youse could spell Berkeley. Which you cannot, see above.
    But that happened! Before you were born! So you don’t have to know!
    Please consider your punchbowl pissed in.

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