As is quite obvious, I don’t really follow the news. I did catch Harvey’s post the other day, though, about how there is information out there that Obama says is not true… to the point that he had to start this Fight the Smears website. Have you ever heard of something like that? I mean, smears about a political candidate? Holy crap! When I heard that, I was like, “We must put an end to this! To the Frank-mobile!” We’re not just talking two or three smears either. If you look at the site, there’s like four or five of them.
I know! People are smearing someone running for office! My world is turned upside down! Why would people do this? Is it because Barack is Hispanic or something?
Now, I may not be Obama’s biggest political supporter, but I am not going to let politics become some big cesspool. So here are some even more smears I’ve found and refuted:
MORE OBAMA SMEARS
LIE: Barack Obama once went on a killing spree through all 57 states.
TRUTH: There aren’t actually 57 states. He misspoke.
LIE: Barack Obama has no penis.
TRUTH: Barack Obama is a hermaphrodite.
LIE: The only thing Barack Obama loves more than America is jihad.
TRUTH: Barack Obama loves many things more than America.
LIE: Michelle Obama hates whitey.
TRUTH: Michelle Obama hates the Jews.
LIE: You have to be retarded to think Barack Obama is a good candidate for president.
TRUTH: You could also just hate America and wish it ill will.
LIE: Barack Obama was originally raised as a Muslim.
TRUTH: Barack Obama converted from Wiccan to Islam in his teens.
LIE: Barack Obama’s middle name is Hussein.
TRUTH: It’s actually a swearword unfit for print. Directed at your mom.
LIE: Barack Obama wants to seize your guns.
TRUTH: He has no interest in your guns. After you’re imprisoned for owning firearms, he’ll let the police do as they may with them.
LIE: Barack Obama loves Che Guevara.
TRUTH: That brief fling they had was lust, not love.
LIE: Barack Obama has a long record of being a liberal.
TRUTH: Barack Obama doesn’t have a long record of doing anything. Name one liberal thing he’s done. Name anything he’s done. Come on; I dare you.
LIE: Barack Obama was banned by the state of Illinois from owning a dog because when he previously owned a puppy and got angry at it for barking too much, he raped it.
TRUTH: There was mutual consent.
LIE: Barack Obama’s brain is the size of a walnut.
TRUTH: It’s the size of a walnut shell, to be clear.
LIE: Barack Obama is planning to kill the pope.
TRUTH: Liars! There is no way anyone could have found out about his plan!
LIE: Barack Obama sold out Israel to Iran in exchange for a bag of magic beans.
TRUTH: The beans aren’t really magic.
LIE: Barack Obama knows to bring a gun to a knife fight.
TRUTH: If a fight breaks out, the only thing you’ll find on him his urine-soaked pants.
LIE: Barack Obama couldn’t find his ass with two hands and a flashlight.
TRUTH: He’s found it before and he’ll find it again.
Click on the “Email This” link below to help spread the truth!
LIE: Barack Obama once got his head stuck in a bucket.
TRUTH: It wasn’t once.
LIE: Barack Obama’s birth certificate is being withheld because it lists his religion as Muslim.
TRUTH: His birth certificate is being withheld because it lists his birth name as “Barry White Obama”
Hmm, it’s been a while since I’ve added to one of your lists. Let’s see what I can come up with…
LIE: Barack Obama threw his grandma under the bus.
TRUTH: She just saw him coming down a dark alley and accidentally jumped in front of the bus.
LIE: Barack Obama thinks that he is the messiah of politics.
TRUTH: He just thinks halos look good on him.
LIE: Barack Obama thinks that babies are a punishment.
TRUTH: Only if they come from conservatives.
LIE: Barack Obama is a post turtle (referencing that post a while back).
TRUTH: You feel sorry for a post turtle.
LIE: A video exists of Michelle Obama using the word “whitey”
TRUTH: A video exists of Barack Obama dancing to Hammer Time.
LIE: Barack Obama is half-Black.
TRUTH: You’re thinking of a zebra. Barack is a creamy brown mixture, sorta like toffee.
LIE: Barack Obama consorts with organized crime figures.
TRUTH: “To Consort” implies a give and take. He’s actually their “bought and paid for” political biotch.
LIE: Aquaman once kicked Barack Obama’s @$$.
TRUTH: Barack is too skeert to go near water.
LIE: Barack said he’d bring a gun to a knife fight.
TRUTH: He actually said he’d bring some “GUM” to a “NERF” fight.
Lie: Barack Obama once ran screaming when he saw a gun.
Truth: It was picture of a gun.
LIE: Barack Obama once misread a young lady’s “Recycle” t-shirt thinking that it said “Coca-Cola”
TRUTH: He was looking…but he wasn’t reading. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more.
Lie: Barak Obama is a terrible cook. Once, he actually burned water.
Truth: Barak’s skills in cooking are quite impressive. it now only takes a little over an hour to make Minute Rice.
LIE: Barack Obama is quick to “throw under the bus” any supporter in the name of political expediency.
TRUTH: Barack Obama likes candy.
LIE: Barack Obama said he’d negotiate with terrorists.
TRUTH: It was the beer talking.
the rumor about michelle o was started by larry johnson and bob beckel a democratic operative
Lie: Barack Obama has been slandered more than any other politician in history.
Truth: Except for every single conservative that has ever run for any office higher than dogcatcher.
Lie: A video exists that shows Michelle Obama using the word “Whitey”.
Truth: A video exists of Barack Obama singing “Chocolate Rain”, at the end of which, he wraps a blanket around his neck like a cape and has a pretend lightsaber fight in his basement which he loses, and then breaks down and laments that we can’t all just leave Britney alone.
Lie: A video exists that shows Michelle Obama using the word “Whitey”.
Truth: The video is called “2 Girls 1 Cup” and she NEVER uses the word Whitey.
LIE: Barack Obama has considered Hillary Clinton as VP
TRUTH: Senator Obama is not suicidal.
LIE: Barack Obama is anti-Israel.
TRUTH: Well, not for long…
LIE: There is no way Obama never saw the racist, terrorist, corrupt sides of his associations over 20 years.
TRUTH: Money and Power make excellent blinders.
LIE: Barack Obama is against the 2nd Amendment.
TRUTH: Constituwhat?
LIE: Senator Obama has no foreign policy experience.
TRUTH: Why just yesterday, he interviewed a new gardener…
LIE: Raving Lunatic’s sinuses will forgive FormerHostage for the Diet Coke incursion he caused.
TRUTH: Oh, they are sooooooo pissed. Wink wink, nudge nudge!
LIE: Barack Obama’s birth certificate is being withheld because it lists his religion as Muslim.
Truth: His father is listed as B. L. Zebub
FrankJ:
Good idea! Perhaps we should develop a similar website for you. I know there are a lot of FrankJ/IMAO smears out there, and we need to make sure the truth is known.
Here are a few to get us started.
Lie: None of the posts on IMAO are funny.
Truth: Actually, the complete lack of self-awareness, hypocrisy and original thought displayed in many of the posts can be quite amusing.
Lie: FrankJ’s political humor is crap.
Truth: No. FrankJ’s political humor is just bad. His science fiction writing is crap.
Lie: FrankJ’s traffic numbers are going down.
Truth: FrankJ’s appeal is becoming more selective.
Lie: FrankJ’s sees no inherent contradiction between his love of violence and his professed Christian faith.
Truth: Actually, that smear is true. Oh well.
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
P.S. FrankJ, are you still feeling good about that “On the Record” comment about McCain winning in a landslide if the Democrats nominate Obama?
Lie: Obama’s father was a radical muslim/communist radical.
Fact: Obama is is son of Don Knots.
Lie: Obambi didn’t know what Rev. Jerry Wright (his “spiritual guidance counselor”) was talking about for two decades.
Lie: Obambi denounced Rev. Wright’s racial invective.
Truth: No one is buying the good cop/bad cop routine; we certainly might buy into the notion that Obambi was ignorant for two decades.
Lie: #19’s comments hurt FrankJ’s feelings.
Truth: FrankJ has no feelings.
Lie: Open season on Whitey is just one option of many.
Truth: Listen all you cracker mother fffffrs, y’all are showin’ up at a gun fight with just words on paper. Amendment this, amendment that. My ass!! We’ll get the Chinese to go house to house on all y’all!
#19 – Posted by: Monkey Faced Liberal on June 16, 2008 05:47 PM
You know, I was going to parody that one, done it in the past – but I just can’t work up the interest.
It’s become the equivalent of picking on the retarded kid at school.
Thought about it for a second, but just decided “nah, who cares.”
I welcome FLM’s comments.
His challenging comments and questions give me an opportunity to examine my own opinions and point of view to ensure that they are sound, based in reality and moral clarity.
Then I rub his pointy little head for luck and give him a cookie.
Lie: #19’s comments disturbed Frank J.
Truth: Frank J lets out an evil laugh and finds inspiration for a plot to take over the world every time some lib-tard gets bitchy about his jokes. Snarf.
Q: Is is possible Monkey Faced Liberal is one of Frank J’s alter ego’s?
Lie: Obama is a Marxist.
Truth: Obama is a Stalinist.
Sorry, I foolishly thought the Marxist/Stalinist irony would be funny. Unfortunately for us, my failed attempt at humor is just depressingly accurate.
LIE: Frank has a bitchin’ ride ala the Batmobile.
TRUTH: The Frank-mobile
Obama’s Fight The Smears website has incited controversy despite the rather tame lies it feels necessary to explain. I’m sure everyone truly needed to be set straight on the fact that Obama was not trying to hide his birth certificate and that he was born a Muslim.
What I have found far more entertaining are the numerous response websites that have sprung up, some of which do a far better job tackling larger misconceptions in the political race. One of the websites, albeit its content is rather thin is http://www.despitethesmears.com .
I think this all just illustrates the absurdity this political race is sinking too.
#9, BHO would NEVER make Minute Rice because it’s WHITE!
LIE: Obama was a professor at University of Chicago.
TRUTH: He won the Nobel Prize in Economics and Physics and Literature.
Lie: Barack Obama puts his pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else.
Truth: Barack Obama doesn’t wear the pants in his family
Lie: Barack once did heavy drugs
Truth:It was more than once and they were not heavy -after a while…
…………………………………………
Lie: Barack believes it takes a village to raise a child.
Truth: That was Hillary – Barack would never let a village have that much freedom.
…………………………………………
Lie:Barack is only 1/16th black.
Truth: Barack is only 6.25% black.
…………………………………………
Lie:Barack is a liberal elitist who hates typical white people.
Truth: Barack is a liberal elitist who hates typical and atypical white people.
#29: There is a very nice “Instant Brown Rice”.
It’s not white; but niether is it black. Rather, it’s a nice, pale mocha color – sort of like a dilution of both. It’s also quite pleasing, though somewhat bland.