This morning while putting on my pants both legs at the same time to mark my superiority to common man, I ripped them. They were good pants. I guess it was inevitable; I was Icarus flying to close to the sun.
Learn from my mistake: Put your pants on one leg of a time just like everyone else. There’s a reason they do it that way.
Pansy.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Those pants weren’t worthy of you.
Yes… one leg at at time, just like Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
You know who else put their pants on one leg at a time? Stalin and Mao.
Yes, one leg at a time, that’s how I instruct my servants to dress me. (seeing as how I am too busy oppressing the poor and counting my money to dress myself) They tried both legs at the same time, but that took went too quickly, allowing my servants too much free time. I can’t allow them to get lazy.
The lovely and talented SarahK is going to be very cross with you for ripping one of her dresses, Frank.
Only a first class homosexual would first try this and then fail! Very Aquamanish!
If you make little enough or are an illegal alien, there is probably a program to provide new pants for you.