Reader Laurie send me this disturbing photo of Nancy Pelosi and Rahm Emanuel… uh… enjoying each other’s company:
Could probably use a caption. I’ll start:
* “You use Evian skin cream, and sometimes you wear L’Air du Temps, but not today.”
* “Is that a stimulus in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”
* “…tax & spend, tax & spend, tax & spend, tax & spend…”
* The flags aren’t the only thing flying at full staff
* “So, are you MARRIED-married, or just Clinton-married?”
* Dangerous (n) – sniffing the hair of a woman wearing a testicle necklace
* The REAL question is: is ANYONE in this picture wearing pants?
* “Your hair smells GILFtastic today!”
* “Gray suit” is the new “blue dress”
* She’d actually be grinning right now if it weren’t for the botox.
“… so then McCain says ‘a picnic table can support a family‘”
Your turn.
Oh baby, your Ben-Gay is getting ME hot.
I want to do to you what we are doing to the American public!
The picture was disturbing enough, but the captions just made it worse. When I got to GILFtastic, well…
“I just, threw up in my mouth, a little bit.”
* And watch as Rahm performs the rare eyes-closed mating sniff recently observed in blind, Neandertal Democrats.
* Observers noted that Pelosi recently
cemented</strike) lubricated here new relationship with the Obama administration.* Oh, get a room, you two.
“‘Do me like a monkey’? How dare you insult our President like that, you racist!”
I’ve got a scandal in my pants.
“You smell better than Obama’s butt…and taste better too.”
When I cleaned out my refrigerator the other day, I would have sworn I’d never eat anything gray and fuzzy.
“So Nancy…are you Rahm tough?”
Onlooker graciously ignore the growth protruding from medusa’s head
mm you smell like my dead grandmother
mmm you smell like taxes
mmmm you smell like fish
“Come fly with me. let’s fly let’s fly away.”
But only if the G5 is available. Otherwise, I’ll be very upset.
“Palomino”
Rahm: I got you stimulas right here.
Pelosi: You had me at $3.5 trillion.
“Mmmm, I smell pork. Squeal for me, baby.”
Rahm: Nancy you get the G-5 this weekend , I’ll get an 8ball from Barack’s dealer
… we off Biden first, then That One … you’ll be my boss again!
Want to see me in tights?
what a pathetic website for a bunch of losers who can’t get laid, so they sit at home and jerk off to pictures of guns.
* And these aren’t just sweet nothings, my dear. Okay, they are.
* Don’t turn around! The back of your head is soooo attractive.
* You’re a Breck Girl !
* Is that an earring? I got a whiff of clam.
Rahm: If I wasn’t like totally gay, I’d so have sex with you baby
Pelosi: I’m from San Fransisco, give it to me gay girly man!
Rahm: How does my breath smell baby?
Pelosi: I think we need to change your name to Dick Smoker, baby!
Things that make you go … bleeearrgh. (shudders)
It looks like Rahm has an Alien bursting out of his chest.
Rahm; I have to go to Barney’s tonight to keep his big mouth shut about the spending bill! I’m spending the night! You so owe me big time!
Pelosi; “We will just have to change your name to Ben Dover…oh I made a funny!”
oHH BOY, THAT TICKLES!!
I’m laughing at the look on the guys face on the left.
“Well shes my best friends girl
Shes my best friends girl-irl
But she used to be mine”
Why, yes, our approval ratings look MUCH better when you look at them this way!
Using the scent glands on the side of her face, Pelosicat marks her territory.
Rahm: Did you hear about the shootings in Germany and Alabama?
Pelosi: Mmmmm… I hear Gun Ban!!!!!!
Old Guy on right: Can’t watch Can’t watch Can’t watch
Guy in grey suit: Wow I didn’t know whe could close her eyes.
That picture makes me wonder what he’s doing with his right thumb.
(Whispering) Yo, Nan! Remember how we celebrated my inaugration?
Hey Nancy, do you think you could get one of those military jets? I want to fuck over America, literally, this time.
I’M GOING TO BE ILL. OH WHAT THE HELL
–BLOW IN MY EAR AND I’LL FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE
–SORRY BOUT THAT, I RAN OUT OF KLEENEX
–EMANUEL–JOYS OF A WOMAN PART VI
–I CAN’T BACK UP, MY NOSE IS STUCK IN YOUR HAIRSPRAY
#18 JASON–BY THE WAY, I GET LAID A LOT, AND I HAVE A LOT OF GUNS, NOT JUST PICTURES OF THEM.
Rahm “why yes that does smell like his junk in your hair!”
Rahm thought bubble: I’d do her…if she wasn’t white…and female.
* I am clenching, sweetheart.
* Oh, Ream….
Wanna come over to my place and get stimulated with the latest trillion dollar pork-laden bill?
NASTY PIGLOSI HAS HER OWN FACTOTUM,
HER LAST FACE LIFT LOOKS LIKE A SCROTUM,
LEAVING HER BROOM ASIDE,THIS UGLY OLD HIDE,
INSISTS UPON A GULFSTREAM IN WHICH TO RESIDE,
LETS PUT AN END UM, TO THIS GERIATRIC PUDENDUM.
#18…Ouch! I better go put some ice on that!
Rahm: “know what Helen Keller said as she walked by the fish market?
Pelosi: “what Rahm?”
Rahm: “good afternoon ladies!”
Pelosi: “oh, Rahm, you are so hot!”
“Mmm…the scent of your facial servos really get me going.”
Isn’t it wonderful when people from San Francisco eat burritos!
“I love the smell of pork in the morning.”
“I didn’t make any bacon before we left”
“I know!”
“Will you call me Karl tonight?”
“Only if you call me lizard face!”
“# Jason says:
March 11th, 2009 at 11:39 am
what a pathetic website for a bunch of losers who can’t get laid, so they sit at home and jerk off to pictures of guns.”
A pair of big healthy guns DOES tend to help me get where I’m going.
#18 Jason: Pictures of guns just don’t do it for me , I really get off listening to field strip manuals on tape.Does anyone have a video of a bushmaster being field striped , cleaned , and reassembled?
Wanna’ hammer my gavel, Speaker?
“You spin my head right ’round right ’round when you go down! When you go down down!”
I know what I’m putting on my tea party protest sign. Along with a caption I’m still working on.
Too… Many…. Ideas…
“Oh Rahm, Rahm” she cried. “Oh Nan, Nan, Oooaaahhh Nan, Nanny Nanny Gran, Granny,Granny, Gran” said Rahm. As their bodies entwined he kissed her furiously. Never had he felt anything so tight, so firm as his tounge circled and swirled around her cheekbone.
” I want you so bad”, cried Gran. “Oh sweaty babie, but first show it to me.” “You mean??” he said, a bit self-consciously. “Yes, Yes” she cried aloud. “I want you to show it me now. I have to see it”.
He pushed away, slowly standing up and then rising as high as he had ever lifted himself on tip toes, began a sultry series of pirouette turns.
When he finished he threw himself into her arms again. Their passion heightened to the point of no return. “This is soooo dirty”, she cried, “But I cannot stop”. “We don’t have to”, cried Rahm. “We have each other, now and forever”. His hands began carressing her writhing body. A low, long moan came from her throat, when abrubtly Rahm stopped. Sniffing he asked “What is that smell” He sniffed again, “It smells like fish, is that tarp?????”
“What a pathetic website for a bunch of losers who can’t get laid, so they sit at home and jerk off to pictures of guns.”
I don’t get it. Does Nancy say that, or Rahm? You’re no good at writing captions.
Revelations, Chapter 17, (any verse will do.)
Oh Rahm! The screams of raped taxpayers makes me soooo hot.
Like it baby? Wait till we get that Cap n’ Trade butt plug greased up, then the real fun will begin.
“Ohhhhh Rahm….It makes me wet when you make that farting noise in my ear…”
Now we know-for certain-that Pelosi and
Rhom are in charge and President Dribbler is just the mouth piece for the Teleprompter.
Bet that when this blows up, it won’t be like Vince Foster and Hillary, this time it will be Pelosi
in the Park. Don’t mess with The Chicago Gang! Or maybe, it will be like Ron Brown and Pelosi
will die in the crash of a G5. WE ARE SO SCREWED!
R: We fired the White House gardener today.
N: Why , Rahm?
R: He asked ” Where’s the spade and hoe?”
N:Mmmmm.
Mmmmm… you smell like the inside of my momma’s purse.
The picture is way too horrifying to even caption!
TAKE IT AWAY! IT BURNS! IT FREEZES!
Mmmmmmm. I just got promoted to Chief of Stiff.
While I still appreciate you
let’s find love while we may;
because I know I’ll hate you
when you are old and grey.
So say you love me, here and now.
I’ll make the most of that.
Say you love and trust me
for I know you’ll disgust me
when you’re old and getting fat.
An awful debility
of lessened utility,
a loss of mobility
is a strong possibility.
In all propability
I’ll lose my virility,
and you your fertility
and desireability;
and this liability
of total sterility
will lead to hostility
and a sense of futility;
so let’s act with agility
while we still have facility,
for we’ll soon reach senility
and lose the ability.
Your teeth will start to go, dear,
your waist will start to spread.
In twenty years or so, dear,
I’ll wish that you were dead.
I’ll never love you then, at all,
the way I do today …
So please remember
when I leave in December
I told you so in May!
– Tom Lehrer
Rahm: mmm Nance, you smell fansastic. What is it?
Pelosi: Bacon and moth balls.