Here’s an idea to help the Republican Party: a review process and membership dues to join.
Right now, anyone can call themselves a Republican, and that has to change. While we should keep it so that anyone can vote for a Republican, to actually be a Republican means meeting board approval and paying not a small sum to listed in the ranks.
Will this mean a lot less Republicans. Yes, but it will also mean more people will want to be a Republican since it’s exclusive. While any loser can be a Democrat, being a Republican will actually mean something.
SCHMO: “Wow, you’re a real Republican!”
REPUBLICAN: “Yes, with the badge and decoder ring.”
SCHMO: “I wish could be a Republican.”
REPUBLICAN: (laughs) “Everyone wishes they could be a Republican, but we can’t just let anyone in. That’s how we got Specter back in the dark ages. Now why don’t you run along and join the Democrats or something. I hear they need help passing out fliers about how kids should be able to smoke pot and gay marry.”
SCHMO: “Aww! But I hate the Democrats!”
REPUBLICAN: “Everyone does.”
Awesome! If I support this with enough enthusiasm will I be allowed to join? Maybe a photo of my “trophy wall” would help get me in. The display case with the Viet Cong and hippie ears is my pride and joy. Hippie ears are much harder to take since you aren’t allowed to kill them first :rolleyes: sheesh.
This is the best plan I’ve heard for the Republican party in ages. I’d totally pay money if it would keep out the riff raff.
you had me at “decoder ring”
Can I put my dues on a payment plan? I think the democrats have a lay-away plan but it involves a contract with a Mr. Mephistopheles. Play now burn later.
We can haze the new recruits. Make them carry around a bust of Reagan for two weeks before we consider their application. Make them do funnels of Perrier. Require them to spray paint “Murderous, Commie Hippies Suck” on every Che T-shirt they see during pledge week.
When do I get my decoder ring and badge? Do you get seniority for the more hippies you punch? And spary painting “murderous Commie Hippies Suck” on Che T-shirts is a great pledge idea.
We’d need a secret handshake and code words, too. The handshake is to cover your back pocket while shaking hands with anyone who is elected to office. If they support liberal spendind and higher taxes, then you follow up with a knee to the groin.
The code words? “Not in my wallet you won’t!”
Obama beat you to it – and did you one better.
Republicans pay taxes. Democrats don’t have to pay taxes and they get government checks.
The rinos would just infiltrate the admissions board.
Better to have open admissions – and be prepared to continuously purge.
NRA?
As a conservative Christian and lifelong Republican who voted for Reagan and Bush, and owner of a pickup truck, I think what the Republican Party needs to do is appeal to moderate voters in swing states like Massachussetts and Illinois. We should be more like John McCain, who almost won the election in spite of being married to a corporate robber baroness and choosing Sarah Palin, who no true Republican likes. And we should stop hounding Nancy Pelosi, who was obviously bullied by George Bush and lied to by the CIA.
Frank, you are correct! Every time we “increase the size of the tent”, we get an Arlen Specter or Mayor Bloomburg that prove to be damaging to the party and destructive to the nation. And, whoever agreed to allow McCain or any of his ignorant family members to join should go the way of Nancy Pelosi as well.
I agree about the elitist part, but I don’t agree with having to buy your way in. Then any yahoo with a fat wallet could be a Republican. Better to have a published list of standards that define what a Republican is and does, and have an application process and review to get in. And, if you’re caught violating one of the principals, you immediately get tossed out on your can, and have a big ‘D’ tattooed on your chest in scarlet.
Ooh…a decoder ring? SWEE…wait a minute…you’re not going to send us secret messages telling us to “Drink more Ovaltine” are you?
Spray painting messages on Che shirts is a horrible idea. A branding iron with your message would be much more effective.
Badges, we don’t need no stinkin’ badges! About that board approval, would that be WATERBOARD approval? If so, I certainly approve .
Question #1
Who is the best president and why?
If they answer “Reagan, because he cut taxes, destroyed the iron curtain, and because his picture causes liberals to shriek in pain,” they are in. If they answer “Obama, because he is so cool,” we load them into an anti-rino cannon, and launch them at a very high trajectory and a very high velocity towards France.
This would have the added benefit of potentially causing mayhem in France.
I get waived in automatically & for free for being a conservative in SoCal with 3 NRA stickers on her car & a ditto head t shirt.
I court danger.
Jazmine Von Holzrand says:
I get waived in automatically & for free for being a conservative in SoCal with 3 NRA stickers on her car & a ditto head t shirt.
I court danger.
Now that’s hard core I didn’t think the hippie commie pinkos of SoCal Allowed such things to exist. By the way the liberal masses should fear us and bow down before us as we have Dick, Fred, the Death Star, and course Sarah Palin.
All you
cheapskatescareful shoppers who don’t want to pay to join the Democrat Lite party, come hang out with us Libertarians – it’s free!> While we should keep it so that anyone can vote for a Republican,
Oh no. That’s the most important part of being a Republican and we simply must stop the riff raff from crossing over and picking our candidate. If anyone reading this wants to make a difference here is the #1 thing you can do. Work to close your State’s primaries. and stop anyone not registered as a Republican at least six months prior to primary day from voting in the Republican primaries. Listen up gang, Obama is not going to be facing serious opposition no matter how much he screws up. That means Democrats are going to be crossing over in droves to help pick our nominee. That is unless we stop them.
So unless you want our dream team of Cheney/Bolton to get screwed over for the nomination by Sen. Graham and Gen. Powell we better get to work. My state (LA) has already closed our primary, has yours?
Anon Y. Mous says:
May 15th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
All you cheapskates careful shoppers who don’t want to pay to join the Democrat Lite party, come hang out with us Libertarians – it’s free!
I’m almost all the way over the edge to the Libertarian party myself. It seems it is what the Republican party once was (or is supposed to be). What’s holding me back? I support the idea of speading freedom throughout the world. My understanding is Libertarians aren’t too strong on national defense. Please clearify.
What will we call the clubhouse? The GOP cave? To the GOP-mobile Robin!
Good point. There are many Libertarians that want a more isolationist federal government, perhaps even a majority. But, there are also those that think that allowing those hostile to us to have their way around the world will eventually let them grow too strong and threaten us here at home. Personally, I’m in the latter camp.
Be the party of ‘no!’
Americans are looking for a few adults in congress to stand up to the Leader’s plans!
For a list of the top ten ‘no’ items, you can hit:
http://firstconservative.com/blog/top-ten/political-humor-top-ten-list-of-nos
Since I’ve been a Republican since 1998 and I have always been a conservative, I should get in free. I’ll go through the app process and get my WWRD headband.
***Jazmine Von Holzrand says:
I get waived in automatically & for free for being a conservative in SoCal with 3 NRA stickers on her car & a ditto head t shirt.
I court danger.
Now that’s hard core I didn’t think the hippie commie pinkos of SoCal Allowed such things to exist. By the way the liberal masses should fear us and bow down before us as we have Dick, Fred, the Death Star, and course Sarah Palin.
***
Yeah, we’re in covert ops, like Navy SEALS. We’ve infiltrated Golds Gym & Wal Mart.