Archive of entries posted on 18th May 2009

Award!

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Reader Mad_Hatter has honored IMAO with the “IMAO IS THE BEST LIB-TARD HATING, DINOSAUR BREEDING, HIPPIE PUNCHING, MONKEY TORTURING, REPTILE ARMING BLOG” Award.


[It’s an animated .gif file… wait for it]

Readers should note that not only is IMAO the best blog in all the above-mentioned categories, IMAO is also the best floor-wax/dessert-topping combination, having recently edged out Shimmer in a nationwide poll.

IMAO is also the best peanut butter, as we are continually chosen by choosy moms over that off-colored drywall-spackle, Jif.

NOTE: All caught up again. Send ’em if ya got ’em.

FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

The Face of Terror

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Hat tip to The Anchoress for pointing out the freakiest Joe Biden photo:

That’s the face of a man who should be legally obligated to introduce himself every time he moves to a new neighborhood. It looks like a face-eating alien disguised by wearing human skin. It’s the kinda smile that makes all the babies cry within a ten mile radius.

It’s creepy, is all.

Dueling Headlines

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New York Times: “Homeownership Losses Are Greatest Among Minorities, Report Finds”

Wall Street Journal: “Housing Boom Aided Minorities”

Yes, they’re both talking about the same report.

Gun Slogans

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I was thinking of what would be some good marketing slogans for guns. Here’s what I cam up with, but if you want to see what other came up with you can search for the tag #gunslogans on Twitter the manly micro-blog with 140 character limit.

Because sometimes you need something dead and it’s not at arms length.

Because perps won’t waste themselves.

The deadmaker.

For when you’re tired of getting pushed around by bears and tigers.

Because it’s hard to conceal a bow and arrow.

Because some people are alive who shouldn’t be.

It’s like a long distance hug… a hug that kills!

The only thing protecting you from a crazed Old Yeller.

Cures horses fast!

Proof that freedom is not for sissies.

For when you get mad.

Lead deserves to fly free.

The only FDA approved cure for stupidity.

God made man, Samuel Colt made them awesome.

The real star of every action movie.

Because as soon as Neo was immune to them, the Matrix movies sucked.

Because diving for cover while swinging two swords doesn’t really work.

Because if you don’t pretend you like them, we’ll shoot you.

How else are you going to kill wolves from a helicopter?

The proper way to congratulate someone for pissing you off.

Ever try to do a drive-by stabbing?

Because sometimes people don’t listen.

Changing hearts and minds.

Ninjas can’t really dodge them.

Apply directly to mo’fo.

It’s not that I like killing; it’s that I dislike some people more than I like not killing.

Keeps pets off of furniture.

“You want to rephrase that?”

If God didn’t want us to shoot stuff, he wouldn’t have put things that need holes in them so far away.

Because sometimes people don’t understand and I don’t feel like explaining.

Avada Kedavra!

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of awesomeness.

If you’re angry, calm down and take a deep breath. It helps your aim.

Don’t just hope someone’s kidneys fail.

They can’t kill someone by themselves. They need you.

Four out of five voices in your head agree.

Finally settle that argument.

Express yourself.

SHAKE HANDS WITH DANGER!

“Stop looking at me like that!”

When this time it’s not a cry for help.

Capitalist Propaganda: “The Road to Serfdom”

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From 1945, the slideshow version of pamphlet version of Friedrich Hayek’s classic 1944 book, “The Road to Serfdom” (caution – gawdawful background music; turn down your speakers to avoid headaches):


[YouTube direct link]

Gotta love the irony of fact that the pamphlet from which these pictures are taken was published & distributed by General Motors.

Scary thing is, I think we’re about 4 minutes into this scenario: “Early step of all dictators is to inflame the majority in common cause against some scapegoat minority”.

AIG bonuses, anyone?

Random Thoughts

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So does Obama have an exit strategy for all this spending? I mean, does he even have a vague idea of how to get out of debt?

I know Bush was crazy with the spending, but that’s not really an excuse to airdrop gasoline on a wildfire.

So when does the American public start to conclude they shouldn’t have given the keys to the car to an eight-year-old?

I hate .asp. If programming is art, .asp is splatter paint.

It’s not that liberals have a simple view of the world, it’s that they have a simple and backwards view. To them, whoever is wearing the white hat is always the bad guy.

My guess is that a renegade Cheney is the only thing standing between us and the terrorists right now.

If all the banks go out of business, how will we be able to tell the time and temperature while driving down the road?

Consensus on Daily Kos: Conservative attacking Pelosi out of fear of strong women. I swear monkeys understood the Obelisk better.

I wonder if in the alternate Fringe universe if Firefly just finished its seventh season. I’d so want to live there.

That a union should be between a man and a woman is a biological concept. That is should be between one of each is a religious one.

I wonder if we can agree to inevitability of gay marriage in exchange that liberals agree to the inevitability of right to carry?

With gay marriage proponents always saying it’s “inevitable”, they should get Agent Smith from the Matrix as their mascot.

Anyone against right to carry is anti-freedom and anti-science. Pass it on.

Abortion is kinda an evolutionary dead end. Then again, I always hear how hamsters eat their young.

The reason I’m not a libertarian is that I will at times use “Because that’s completely insane!” as my sole argument against something.

Commonly hear during episodes of CSI: “Hey, I recognize that actor; he must be the killer.”

Why can’t Obama man up and announce he has nothing but disdain for religion? I mean other than to rich San Francisco liberals.

As I’ve said before, biggest problem facing kids today is too many sissies.

Michelle Obama is one of Maxim’s top 100 hottest women in the world. Did Perez Hilton put that list together?

Pelosi does not have an honest face. Or a human one.

Calling Democrats “Socialists” Offends Socialists

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No, seriously.

Frank Llewellyn, the national director of the Democratic Socialists of America, responded thusly to an effort in the Republican Party to rename Democrats the “Democrat Socialist Party.”:

“It’s objectionable, because they’re giving socialism a bad name by associating it with the Democrats”.

No word yet on whether the CPUSA is offended by “Obamunism“.