I was thinking of what would be some good marketing slogans for guns. Here’s what I cam up with, but if you want to see what other came up with you can search for the tag #gunslogans on Twitter the manly micro-blog with 140 character limit.
Because sometimes you need something dead and it’s not at arms length.
Because perps won’t waste themselves.
The deadmaker.
For when you’re tired of getting pushed around by bears and tigers.
Because it’s hard to conceal a bow and arrow.
Because some people are alive who shouldn’t be.
It’s like a long distance hug… a hug that kills!
The only thing protecting you from a crazed Old Yeller.
Cures horses fast!
Proof that freedom is not for sissies.
For when you get mad.
Lead deserves to fly free.
The only FDA approved cure for stupidity.
God made man, Samuel Colt made them awesome.
The real star of every action movie.
Because as soon as Neo was immune to them, the Matrix movies sucked.
Because diving for cover while swinging two swords doesn’t really work.
Because if you don’t pretend you like them, we’ll shoot you.
How else are you going to kill wolves from a helicopter?
The proper way to congratulate someone for pissing you off.
Ever try to do a drive-by stabbing?
Because sometimes people don’t listen.
Changing hearts and minds.
Ninjas can’t really dodge them.
Apply directly to mo’fo.
It’s not that I like killing; it’s that I dislike some people more than I like not killing.
Keeps pets off of furniture.
“You want to rephrase that?”
If God didn’t want us to shoot stuff, he wouldn’t have put things that need holes in them so far away.
Because sometimes people don’t understand and I don’t feel like explaining.
Avada Kedavra!
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of awesomeness.
If you’re angry, calm down and take a deep breath. It helps your aim.
Don’t just hope someone’s kidneys fail.
They can’t kill someone by themselves. They need you.
Four out of five voices in your head agree.
Finally settle that argument.
Express yourself.
SHAKE HANDS WITH DANGER!
“Stop looking at me like that!”
When this time it’s not a cry for help.
They go “Bang”
Because a pointed finger and an extended thumb won’t do.
God and Guts are all well and good, but it takes Guns to fill out the Trinity
Safety First … then trigger.
Too long for Twitter:
If they won’t be deterred, they WILL be interred.
Some people just need killin.
I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.
All the cool kids are carrying them.
I carry a .45 because they don’t make a .46.
The next best thing to term-limits for politicians.
“Guns don’t kill people. Helicopter pilots with guns kill people.” (unofficial US Army Cavalry slogan)
“Would you rather die slowly?”
“Ballistic action-at-a-distance is so enjoyable.”
“Reach out and
touchkill someone.”“BANG BANG BANG BANG! YOU DEAD NOW!”
Because when somebody breaks into your house, using a condiment like mustard or pepper spray just doesn’t work.
You’re either part of the revolution or your in our way.
A Jedi tried to deflect a .44 Magnum slug the same way he did with a blaster. He was shot twice.
If the stormtroopers had just used gatling gun guns, the Empire would have lasted forever.
Because carrying enough napalm around to stop a crime is a real hassle.
Nobody will ever play a video game called “Talking Through Our Differences” or “Friends I Haven’t Met Yet”.
Why wreck a good car and a bridge?
If you absolutly, positively need something dead now!
Sometimes, even a good whipping just won’t do.
You can’t pistol-whip somebody unless you have a pistol first!
Because a gun is like toilet paper….better to have it and not need it….then to need it and not have it.
Because ammo is useless without the guns!
Because shooting things is fun! Shooting hippies and commies and liberals (not much of a difference) is more fun…ner.
Quicker than poison, more effective than dialog.
1) The right to Bare Arms for Michelle O-bah-muhh. The right to Bear Arms for the People 2) When torches and pitchforks just won’t do. 3) Because 38 ordinary doesn’t help my self-esteem like SPECIAL does. 4) Because “Eat lead!” doesn’t mean paint chips. 5) Because Dick Cheney isn’t the only one who would like to shoot a lawyer.
Without me, my rifle is useless, without my rifle, I am useless.
Of COURSE they’re phallic, but you should be man enough not to care!
If threatened by an armed crackhead, which would you rather have handy: a Glock or a conflict resolution facilitator?
A point and click interface to evolution.
The at-home, easy to use, particle accelerator.
The fastest way to downsize bloated government.
The Easiest way to Open a Hippie’s 3rd eye
Because even if they run, they’ll still die tired
Lets you kill someone without getting off the sofa
Guns they kill terrorist dead!
a real attitude adjuster
the original point and click device
for when you absolutely need it dead
I think Frank is backsliding on that Twitter thing again.
Praise the Lord and pass the ammo!
When you have to smite them yourself.
And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.
Dr. Mayhem says:
A point and click interface to evolution.
Excellent.
-Speeding up Darwin Awards since 1859.
Because my right index finger needs something to do (besides coding and blogging).
#19 FormerHostage A Glock is the conflict resolution facilitator.
Guns. Because air just isn’t for scumbags / jihadis / liberals any more!
Guns. Because we all can’t be as awesome as Fred Thompson.
Like dialing 911, but faster
Colt built a better burglar alarm
Guns: Stopping forced property relocation since 1776
When seconds count,
the Sheriff is just minutes away.
A police officer from Texas was in our hospital unit in Desert Storm.
Another soldier was asking him whether situations ever dictated “shoot to kill” or “shoot to wound”.
He said, “Neither. We ‘shoot to stop’. If the situation requires use of your weapon, aim center of mass, and shoot until it is no longer necessary.”
I like that, “Aim center of mass, and shoot to stop.”
Frank–
Have you seen a movie called The Boondock Saints?
something tells me you’d enjoy it….lol
Bitterly clinging to my gun makes me happy.
A gun guarantees the debate is over.
Eliminates unwanted CO2 emissions; the ultimate in cap and trade.
Never drink and shoot, it spoils your aim and wastes bullets; celebrate afterward.
Not every life-saving device is orange.
Let it be there when it matters most.
A life insurance policy without annual premiums.
No waste! We dispense security 230 grains at a time.
guns they help fix stupid
guns natural selections little helper