Is it true that scientists aren’t sure whether apes can swim? What the hell do we pay scientists for? With all the other useless crap they know, you think they’d have an answer on the simple question of whether a orangutan can swim. If a chimpanzee is chasing after me to eat my face (not as a remote possibility as we like to think), we need to know whether we can escape the chimp by swimming across a river. This is basic survival stuff. Drop your gravitons and Higgs boson particles and get on this, scientists.
Archive of entries posted on 12th May 2009
GOP Jingle
While everyone is talking about rebranding the Republican Party and what not, can I suggest something?
We need a catchy jingle.
A jingle is a great idea. Then we can get everyone humming about how they like Republicans. And when they get to the voting booth to decide who to vote for, the jingle is going to be stuck in their heads.
I’m not very musical though, so I’m not sure what it would be like.
“Cutting taxes, that’s our man!
Vote for your Republican!”
“Liberty, justice, and apple pie,
That’s a Republican and it’s no lie.”
“The Republican Party is the very best way,
Anyone says otherwise is probably gay.”
“Vote for a Republican and reduce the debt.
If you don’t, I’ll murder your pet.”
“Republicans will make America soar,
So vote for them, you stupid whore.”
Any better ideas?
lolterizt! Part 81
This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com
Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.
NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.
My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:
From AlanABQ:
From GEBIV:
From Greg:
[reference link]
From Jeff:
From a different Jeff:
[reference link]
From Jedijson:
[reference link]
From Nicole:
From NunyaB:
From Raving Lunatic:
This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:
PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.
#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.
MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.
STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.
HAT TIP: Snapped Shot for handy links to ripe-for-captioning photos.
Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.
Random Thoughts
I bet less people would smoke if they just knew that cigarettes are bad for them.
So was Scare Force One a test run to Obama ramming the Statue of Liberty with his plane?
What this deal with “DijonGate”? I don’t care if the president is a homosexual, and I don’t think anyone else does either.
All these job losses mean that when Iran, North Korea, or the Taliban nuke a city, most of us should be safe at home.
Good line for Pelosi: “Yes, I heard about the waterboarding, but it was so traumatic I repressed it.”
Can they put caffeine directly in sugar and then make it consumable in pixie stick form, or might I as well go on hard drugs at that point?
When the A/C in the office makes us too cold, we turn on space heaters. Probably not the greenest solution.
My wife told me to cut an onion for the soup while she’s gone. She didn’t tell me it uses chemical warfare! My eyes! No other animal cuts and prepares onions; its chemical attacks are aimed solely at humans. It is our enemy.
Watching Wonderfalls. Viewing a doomed series on DVD is a bit like buying a terminally ill pet – best not to get too attached.
If we’re going to spend time pointing out the left are dicks every time they’re dicks, we’re not going to have time for any other message.
If we want to get back at the left, be awesome. They can’t do that.