Don’t know how long this link will stay posted, so look fast.
At the bottom of an article on Obama not holding a National Day of Prayer Event (he’s just issuing a proclamation) you can click on the “From the Blogs” link and a box drops down, ostensibly showing “Blogs talking about this topic”.
Only problem is that, of the three blog articles shown (one of which is mine), NONE of them actually talk about the article in question.
How do you suppose they pick which pieces to link?
Fred & Jeri of The Fred Thompson Show have honored IMAO with the “FRED IS AMUSED” Award.
A couple years back, Frank wrote:
Fred Thompson has such self-control that he has only laughed once during the entire five year history of IMAO… and it was probably at something Harvey wrote.
Apparently sometime since then, someone (probably Frank) got another laugh out of Fred – thus this award.
FINE PRINT:
To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.
Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 2 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.
As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:
If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.
For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint
Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.
Now get honoring!
I don’t quite get the conservative versus moderate debate for the Republican Party. It’s usually characterized as being social conservatives versus libertarians, but the biggest issue with the “moderates” lately has been their enabling the president int trillions in spending — not exactly the libertarian stance.
They keep saying we can’t be a stronger party if we keep just tossing people out, but those people complaining never seem to say what makes one a Republican other than the choice of registration. Are we just going to be “the other party than the Democrats”? It seems the “moderate” strategy is to be as inoffensive as possible and hope to pick up votes from anyone whoever is currently dissatisfied with the Democrats. So basically, just bank on the Democrats being unpopular eventually, but that’s not enough. We have to be for something, which means being against other things. That means laying down some real differences between the Republican and Democratic Parties other than that they are spelled and pronounced differently. And that means excluding some people who don’t fall on the Republican side of the newly drawn line. We can attract new people for those we leave, but that only happens if we’re strong enough to actually stand for something.
And if being for big government and against liberty are and individualism is really the only way to get elected, then screw it. I don’t want to be elected. If we’ve reached that point, then it’s all over already.
I hate Obama and everything he stands for. I also hate him on a personal level, because given the choice between capitalism and socialism, he deliberately chose to support socialism. I mock him every chance I get, even for small, petty things which aren’t his fault, like his ears (although those are actually LARGE, petty things) and his mule-faced wife (some guys just like ugly chicks – whattya gonna do about it?).
But I refuse to get all Kwazy Kos Kid and make fun of him for screwing up when he didn’t actually screw up. Humor requires truth to be funny, and if it ain’t true, it ain’t funny.
Some folks are busting Obama’s chops for saying “Welcome to Cinco de Cuatro” during a Cinco de Mayo celebration at the White House, saying that it was a “gaffe”, and a “fumbled joke”. They’re wrong. It was a good joke, done deliberately, and – based on the warm, sincere audience laughter – done well.
First, Obama’s not the first person to make this joke. About 6 years ago, something very similar was used in an episode of The Simpsons, where Homer lists some upcoming local holidays:
There’s the Tongue Kiss Festival, Cinco de Ocho, the Hobo Oscars. Days just made for lovers.
This joke works because when you hear “Cinco de”, your brain automatically says “Mayo” to itself, but you get surprised by the word “Ocho”, yet it sort of fits because it rhymes with “Mayo”, and it’s a Spanish word. The joke wouldn’t work if you said “Cinco de Brick”, for example.
Obama’s joke works even better because – in addition to these factors – it also makes reference to the elephant-in-the-room awkward fact that they were celebrating a holiday named for specific day of the year on a different day. That’s a lot of work for a single word, and as a person who spends WAY too much time thinking about the mechanics of humor-writing, I can tell you that that sort of confluence of factors doesn’t happen nearly often enough.
Obama also had good delivery because he looked at his watch afterwards with a mock-confused look on his face, as though he were checking the date, to emphasize the situation.
Now, I’m not saying that that joke should have necessarily been funny to YOU, or that making one good joke makes Obama NOT an evil, power-hungry desecrator of the Constitution. I’m just saying that this particular incident doesn’t belong on his ever-growing list of screw-ups.
The White House won’t release the Air Force One photos that were supposedly taken when Obama freaked out New York City, which is further proof of my conspiracy theory. First of all, there aren’t photos because it wasn’t a photo shoot. But if there were photos, they’d have to worry about you being able to clearly see that it’s Obama in the cockpit of the plane, completely coked out of his mind.
I’m sending a letter to the White House telling them that if they can’t keep cocaine away from Obama, at least secure the cockpit doors to Air Force One so he can’t take it over again. That’s just common sense right there.
In honor of Cinco do Seis, I present these:
* Mexico declared its independence from Spain on September 16th, 1810. This should not be confused with the first Cinco de Mayo of May 5th 1862, which marked Mexico’s victory over the French Army. Every day is Cinco de Mayo somewhere in the world.
* In absolute numbers, Mexico has more native Spanish-speakers than anywhere else in the world. Percentage-wise, the winner is any given Home Depot parking lot.
* The Chihuahua dog breed was developed in 1850 in Mexico. Purebred Chihuahuas are quite rare and VERY expensive. If you can’t afford one, a shaved rat is pretty much the same thing.
* In the 16th century, Mexicans used poinsettia leaves for medicinal purposes, including to help control fevers. In modern times, they mostly use hospitals in Los Angeles.
* The national sport of Mexico is bull-fighting – where a pretty man prances around while cruelly butchering an innocent animal. Sorta like American Idol, except with bulls instead of pop music.
* Mexico is made up of 31 states. 38 if Obama is counting.
* The three colors of Mexico’s flag hold deep symbolism: green is for hope and victory, red is for the blood shed by the nation’s heroes, and white is for the nation’s vibrant cocaine export industry.
* Mexico City is the second-largest city in the world, with a population of 25 million, all of whom share a single car and apartment.
* The border between Mexico and the United States is thought to be second-longest in the world – after the border between the United States and Canada – although no one can say for sure, since it’s been completely obscured by footprints.
* All of which, mysteriously, point north, leading scientists to speculate that Mexicans are made out of some sort of magnetic material.
* Because Mexico is located in an area known as the Pacific “Ring of Fire.” the region is rife with millions of small, active volcanoes. These are harvested annually and sold under the name Habañero.
* Tequila, the liquor for which Mexico is famous, is made from the native blue agave plant. It’s named after the city where it originated, and not – as American overindulgers often claim – a Mexicanized pronunciation of “to kill ya”.
* 90% of Mexicans are Roman Catholic, which is why they tend to see the Virgin Mary in their tortillas instead of Barack Obama like normal people.
* Mexico has seven hundred and seven species of reptiles. Which one is in that taco is anyone’s guess.
* Chocolate was invented in Mexico as a sacred drink for the Aztecs. The original recipe contained no milk or sugar, leaving it a dark, bitter, unpleasant mess which few could stomach without retching. Think of it as Michelle Obama in a cup.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go shave me up a Chihuahua.
To honor Cinco de Mayo, I put five scoops of mayo on everything I eat.
Maybe conservative policies would be more popular if paired with giveaways. “National Right to Carry Plus Free Candy Bill”. Then, some people who might not like guns would still be for the bill because they get free candy. All we have to do is compromise our principles, and we do that all the time for no benefit anyway.
“National Right to Carry Plus Free Candy” — the “Suck on This!” Bill.
New strategy: Let’s all be for massive spending. Liberals will then get paranoid and check their spending bills line by line.
If we remove all moderates, the GOP will be smaller, but also more agile! Probably unelectable either way.
I don’t have a problem with moderates in the GOP, but can’t they just vote the way we tell them and never ever talk?
In case no has said it, the obvious choice for the Batman replacement is Arthur Curry. Batman + talk to fish = awesome!
