Crowder debates the ACLU:
Where did the ACLU guy get a gun? I thought they didn’t defend that part of the Constitution.
Archive of entries posted on 7th May 2009
Who’s Hot?
According to People Magazine: Tim Geithner.
Who’s not?
According to the silence of People Magazine, Miss Alaska first-runner-up: Sarah Palin.
Although, they DID pick the vaguely-similar-looking-but-not-in-the-right-places Tina Fey, so it all balances out.
Joe Biden IS Lyle Lanley
Joe Biden went to the University of Delaware and touted the virtues of high speed rail, not unlike this guy:
Comparative quotes:
Joe Biden: “It’s about jobs, jobs, jobs, jobs… mostly union jobs, a job you can live a middle class life on.”
—–
Barney: “What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lyle Lanley: “You’ll be given cushy jobs”
Joe Biden: “Ladies and gentlemen this is the single best investment for my children and grandchildren in transportation that I could possibly make.”
—–
Lyle Lanley: “I swear it’s Springfield’s only choice, throw up your hands and raise your voice.”
I tell ya, it’s just CREEPY when life imitates cartoons.
[“Make Mine Freedom”, YouTube direct link]
Obama’s Long-Lost Brother
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Star Trek Action Movie Lines
Start Trek movies were always supposed to be a November release for dorks, but now one is opening this weekend as a big summer blockbuster release. If Star Trek is going to be reborn as an action flick, then it needs action movie lines. Here’s what I came up with:
STAR TREK ACTION MOVIE LINES
“He’s dead Jim — he pissed me off.”
“I’m going to beam my foot up your ass.”
“Set fists to pummel.”
“Thinking you can piss me off and not get beaten to a bloody pulp is illogical.”
“I’m going to violate the Prime Directive of your face!”
A Failure of Gun Control
Criminals break into house to rape and murder college students and get shot. Without better gun control, breaking into people’s homes could be an increasing dangerous job. Please write to your representative about this problem.
Barack Obama Doesn’t Care About Black People
Well, that’s not fair. It isn’t that he doesn’t care about poor kids in the D.C. area, it’s that he cares about teacher unions much much more. I’m sure that while he’s throwing around trillions he wouldn’t mind giving a few million to help the education of the poor in D.C. as long as it didn’t anger the teachers unions who consider getting kids out of failing schools a “threat”. But as is, tough luck.
There was a rally in D.C. to try and grow Obama’s grinch heart on the subject of vouchers, and now it sounds like he’ll extend the program for those already in it while letting in no one else new. For the kids still in the failing schools, screw you. You should have been a powerful lobby.
Random Thoughts
If I had a time machine, I could finally answer the eternal question of who would win in a fist fight between Mark Twain and Charles Dickens.
If scientists could just genetically combine a ninja with a pirate, we’d have a unstoppable super soldier!
New idea for Republicans: Physically threaten voters. If ideas aren’t popular, at least make them large and intimidating.
Little Known Fact: Cats pee in your mouth while you sleep.
Know what would be neat? An animal like an anteater but instead it eats squirrels. A squirreleater.
Where do people get this idea Jesus wasn’t judgmental? That’s his job: to judge everybody. He’s the most judgmental person ever.
I’m confused; is the Bristol Palin story a failure of abstinence or a failure of sex ed?