Steven Crowder proves he should take Heath Ledger’s place in the next Batman with his performance as Pelosi:
How is he not rich and successful yet? America must be broken.
Archive of entries posted on 21st May 2009
Furniture for All Races
It’s nice to know there’s a place I can buy furniture that won’t start a race riot.
(hat tip Weird Al Yankovic)
No Cover Ups on Zombie Attacks
This is oddly reassuring.
BTW, everything is on Twitter now. If you’re not on Twitter, you’re some sort of second class citizen with no idea what’s going on in the world. I probably shouldn’t tell my Twitter friends I’m even talking to you.
Capitalist Propaganda: “Destination Earth”
From 1956, a little something from the American Petroleum Institute called “Destination Earth“:
Can’t help wondering when our Beloved Leader Obb the Exalted will start “inviting” us to attend special giant joy rallies.
Towards the middle, this short gets into something that got overlooked the last time people cared about oil (circa 2008) – the fact that gasoline is NOT the only reason we need the stuff.
Now, I warn you ahead of time that the dialogue is mostly so lame and stilted that it makes Scooby Doo look like Family Guy, but there’s a decent payoff at the end.
Drill here. Drill now.
And up yours, Beloved Leader.
Apes Best Friend
This story freaks me out. So this orangutan adopts a dog, takes him on walks and swims with him (the orangutan wears a life-preserver in the picture, so it doesn’t settle whether apes can’t float). I don’t know when was the last time I took my dog swimming. If an orangutan did that with my dog, I bet she’d end up liking the monkey better than me.
What if man’s best friend becomes apes best friend? We’d lose our closest ally in the animal kingdom and we’d be screwed. If you see your dog hanging out with a monkey, you put an end to that immediately. Bad dog!
BTW, the story states that “It was unusual because dogs are usually scared of primates.” In my experience, every time I’ve seen a dog encounter a primate, they get freaky happy.
Award!
Dennis Michael Tenney of 10eBrothers has honored IMAO with the “IMAO Wins #1 Blog Award Amongst Brain Eating Zombies” Award.
Now, if you’re like most people, you have mixed feelings about zombies. Sure, they’re fun to shoot in the head, but there’s always the risk that the shambling bastards will swarm you and eat your brains before you can make it to the truck with that hot chick that you met in that shack you were holed up in.
And it doesn’t help that zombie attacks are only slightly less common than swine flu these days.
But now there’s hope for you.
If you’re attacked by zombies, just tell them how much you love IMAO. They’ll give you a very slow high five, then totter off to feed on some guy in a suit who can’t believe his car picked today to break down and make him late for a very important meeting.
NOTE: Still caught up. Send ’em if ya got ’em.
FINE PRINT:
To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.
Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.
As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:
If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.
For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint
Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.
Now get honoring!
Obama Isn’t Who He Says He Is
So we all basically agree that the new V series is vaguely about Obama the same way Animal Farm was vaguely about Russian Communism. They even use the words “hope” and “change”:
If Obama is really a reptillian creature who plans on eating us, that would explain why he has pretty much no idea what to do with a human economy.
And I notice the series has actors for Firefly, Lost and The 4400. I guess once you do scifi, there’s no going back.
Random Thoughts
Reid and Pelosi are awesome! They’re better than Abbot and Costello!
What’s the difference between a genius and a super genius? A cape. Mine has a big letter ‘F’ for Frank.
You’d be surprised how many businesses’ dress codes specifically say you’re not allowed to wear a cape.
The explorer Magellan was one of the first people to wear tights and a cape. He couldn’t fly, but he could jump really high.
I wish all lemurs died out 47 million years ago.
Instructions on can of soup: “Heat and serve. Do not overcook.” Glad they threw that “Do not overcook” in there.
Cheney sure is one of the most powerful VPs ever. Even as an ex-VP, he has way more effect on policy than Biden.
So has anyone tried making those monster truck rallies go hybrid?
If Obama were in fact a reptilian humanoid intent on eating us, that would make his administration slightly scarier.
The 47 million year old fossil is a big deal because in monkey religion they find it insulting to say they’re related to lemurs.
Monkey religion involves lots of climbing in trees and screeching, BTW. They’re all very religious.
Wife just asked: “Is that Nickelback or Hannah Montana?” I do often get them confused. “Is that song by Metallica or the Monkees? Is that by Gwar or Raffi?”
Shouldn’t Obama have been named American Idol?
So is it now okay to explain what homosexuality is to the tweeners screaming for Adam Lambert?
Are Darwinists really trying to claim that Darth Vader evolved from a monkey, because I don’t see it.