Archive of entries posted on 8th May 2009

Award!

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Reader RightWingTink has honored IMAO with the “Your Blog Doesn’t Belong In a Trashbin” Award.

On the surface, this award seems sweet and complimentary, but it’s actually rude and offensive. Trashbins are the gleaming, gold-leafed apex of Western Civilization. They’re what separate us from rat-infested, third-world hell-holes like Haiti and France, where trash is thoughtlessly left to rot and fester in streets and Béarnaise sauce, respectively.

I say that if ANY blog belongs in a decent, sturdy, union-tended, mob-controlled, patriotic, all-American trashbin, it’s IMAO.

But I guess it’s the thought that counts, so IMAO humbly & gratefully accepts this award.

Or maybe it’s grumbly and hatefully. Either way, an award’s an award.

NOTE: I’m all caught up now, so this is a great time to submit an award for those who have trouble delaying gratification.

FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

The Pinnacle of Human Technology

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Lasers + Meat = Meat Cards

This is what Einstein only wishes he could have thought of!

He’s Certainly Not Kirk

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Obama is Spock? I thought with those ears he was a Ferengi.

Random Thoughts

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When Michelle O was on Sesame Street, do you think the Count explained to her how spending doesn’t reduce the deficit?

Maybe Murtha could go on Sesame Street and be the Pork Monster. “ME WANT PORK!!”

If this Star Trek reboot is a success, maybe we should try it with the Republicans. Younger and with more explosions!

I just thought of something re liberals/conservatives: Maybe we’re both right and should stop arguing. Politics solved!

Maybe terrorists don’t hate us. Maybe they’re just immature and explosions are their way of saying they like us.

If it weren’t for Meghan McCain criticizing the GOP, we would only hear this from EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE MEDIA.

You have to admit, Meghan McCain does give us a better appreciation for the tact of David Frum.

Oprah is so rich and successful that I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone be accused of racism for having disdain for her.

Things Overheard at the National Council for a New America

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A lot of people say the GOP needs to take a new direction and be less radical to attract independents. That’s why such trend-setters as Eric Cantor, John McCain, and Mitt Romney recently launched the National Council for a New America at a pizza parlor to figure out how to rebrand the Republican Party. Here’s some of things overheard at the meeting:

* “Freedom, liberty, small government, individualism, personal responsibility… these are the stale ideas that have been holding back the GOP!”

* “The key to victory is principles – we need to avoid those. They scare people.”

* “Let’s not say ‘Republican’ – that has has negative connotations. Let’s call ourselves ‘the other Party.'”

* “If we criticize the spending too much, then it comes off as us being too critical of Obama… and we already have enough problems with racism.”

* “Actually, I don’t know about this name ‘National Council for a New America.’ Do you really need the ‘America’ in there? A lot of people are turned off by jingoism. Can’t we just be ‘National Council for Newness’?”

* “We should never be afraid to praise a Democrat when he does something right. I wouldn’t praise Republicans, though; that just makes you look intolerant.”

* “I think we’ve had enough talk about ‘Reagan’ in this party. We need a new Republican leader to rally behind. Like Chuck Hagel.”

* “We need to get away from things that are scaring young people from our parties, like social issues. Also, he can try handing out meth.”

* “Without Arlen Specter in this Party, it’s like we’ve lost our soul.”

* “Maybe me need a new symbol. An elephant is big and lumbering and threatening. How about a hamster?”

* “If people like Democrats right now, I bet they’ll love a watered down version.”

* “We have to be careful of our image. If you’re at a rally and someone mentions ‘illegal immigration’, you then need to get as far away from those racists as possible.”

* “Anyone you ever figure out what those ‘Tea Parties’ were about?”

Justice Mary Poppins

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My Pajamas Media column today is a sing-along.