Obama’s Enemies List

We’ve been hearing that Obama is making enemies lists just like Nixon, but people are wondering who would be on this list. I can’t tell you how, but I have obtained an official Obama enemies list and I print it here at IMAO exclusively.

OBAMA’S ENEMIES LIST

* FOX News

* Rush Limbaugh

* Glenn Beck

* Jake Tapper

* General McChrystal

* Joe Biden’s mouth

* The economy

* Brazil

* The Jews

* That guy at Starbuck’s who is always screwing up my order

* The dwarf planet Eris

* Optimus Prime

* Blue pens

* Malia Obama

* All other Nobel Peace Prize winners

* Jesus

* Capitalism

* Liberty

* The Constitution

* Americans

46 Comments

  1. That list is incomplete. You left off:
    – The unborn
    – Babies born that he tried to kill once already
    – Babies born in Washington, D.C. who want to go to private school
    – Babies who survive abortion and grow up to serve in the Armed Forces
    – People who pay taxes
    – People who pay their own mortgages
    – People who own their own businesses
    – People who make more money than average
    – People elected President before November 1, 2008.
    – Old people who don’t take the hint and die, already
    – Old people who die and leave money to their kids

    And my apologies to anyone reading this who personally feels insufficiently demonized.

  2. It would really be easier to make a “friends” list, as it would be much shorter, and it also makes his “enemies” list understandable:

    OBAMA’S FRIENDS LIST
    – The Koran
    – Muslim and non-Muslim terrorists
    – Communist dictators
    – Anyone who hates or resents the greatness of America
    – Anyone who doesn’t accept him as their Messiah

  3. Those meddling kids that ride around in that van with the big dog!

    That smart aleck that calls at 3:00 am and asks things like “Is your refrigerator running?” or “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?”

  4. * People who are immune to H1N1
    * People who say H1N1 isn’t an emergency
    * People who caught H1N1 and didn’t die a hideous death whilst blaming the GOP for their troubles
    * People who demand their free unicorn

  5. – Jack Bauer
    – John Jameson
    – Emperor Palpatine (One Master, one apprentice)
    – General HAWK and his G.I. Joes
    – FrankJ and his Lunar Nuclear Arsenal
    – The 1997 Howell High School Drum Line
    – The Confederation Fleet (Obama is a damn Kilrathi name)
    – The other 2 Cinnamon Toast Crunch chef’s that ‘diappeared’ (Thank’s to Rahm)
    – Karl Rove (But not that snappy dressing Rarl Kove)
    – Sarah Palin’s husband (Jealous much?)
    – Bea Arthur
    – The Lemon’s on the slot machine
    – Super Mario
    – Chelsea Clinton (She’ll be a threat someday)
    – Tipper Gore (He loves him some GTA Vice City)
    – TWA Airlines

    I think I got em all.

  6. Where’s Bachmann (MN) on these lists? Sheesh!

    I like the Friends approach too, but I’ll list my useful idiots

    Newt
    Bob Dole
    Bill Frist
    Linseed Gwam
    McCain (the elder)
    NY23 GOP establishment

  7. * Banks not owned by the US Government

    * Insurance companies not owned by the US Government

    * Auto companies not owned by the US Government

    * Any company not owned by the US Government

    * Company executives that weren’t bailed out

    * Any doctor who treat patients for cash

    * Anyone opposed to the ‘Public Option”

    * Anyone who thinks Cap-‘n-Trade is actually Cap-‘n-Tax

    * Any global warming disbeliever

    * The US Armed Forces

  8. Rahm Emanual: What do you want me to do, sir?
    President Obama: I want you to make a list of my current enemies. Take this down.
    [Rahm looks for a pen and paper while Obama talks]
    President Obama: Rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Republicans!!
    Ramh Emanual: [finding pen and paper] Could you repeat that, sir?

  9. TWEEKERS. No they don’t look organized, but look at all the time they have to bring it all down.
    Also, the majority of said group is well armed, rednecks, with agendas that we may not as a whole understand but, since when has that ever slowed a fringe movement down?

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