One great way to get notice in Science! is controversy. Evolution gets a lot of controversy and attention, as people say it’s hard to believe and against the Bible. This has to frustrate scientists who work on quantum physics because it’s even harder believe and just seems like it has to be against something in the Bible, but no one seems to care. Teleportation, entanglement, uncertainty in measurement, multiple universes, subatomic particles being in two states at once until observed — it’s like the scientists want to be caught for just making stuff up. In fact, quantum physics is so unbelievable that it’s still much more likely that a bunch of scientists got drunk one day and made the whole thing up than that quantum physics is actually true.
So where is the outrage? Scientists are basically calling the universe — and thus God — a confused liar. The universe is in some confused, indeterminate state, and God is just randomly making it up as people observe it. Even Einstein had a religious objection to it (“God does not play dice with the universe.”). And how many people have actually seen these subatomic particles and seen them spin one way or the other like the scientists tell us? This is all not to say that quantum physics isn’t an official theory with the Science! stamp of approval, it’s just that you should probably protest it being taught to your kids, as something about it just seems immoral. Plus, they’re probably too stupid to understand it anyway.
Science!
I just had this same conversation with my brother yesterday. We concluded that anyone who claims to have any knowledge of sub-sub atomic particles is probably just full of crap. My ranking of the plausibility of physics is as follows:
Netownian physics – solid
Relativity/quantum mechanics – dubious on some points, but acceptable
Particle physics/standard model/string theory – load of horse****
WTF are you talking about? Are you trying to talk all smart in the hopes of getting a laser again? Or are you punishing us because the comments aren’t brilliant enough?
Also: Bring Back Pluto! Who’s with me?
As someone with one of them there fancy Physics! degrees, I take offense to the slanderous allegations being made here. We are smart, it says so on the piece of paper we got from the university, so you should just listen to us and not question anything we say, whether it has to do with physics! or not. I would say you’re being racist against physicists, but that would make you a physicistist, which is just too hard to say.
Dude! I applaud your obvious plethora of stones, if for no other reason, it makes Barry jealous.
Seriously, you’re inviting the wrath of upchuck janesin; seatless, wiggling & moaning SoCal bicycle rider. This heresy will probably result in your banishment, from your own blog.
I’m with you, KnitterChick!
Micky should never leave his dog!
Acts 8:39 – 40. We think we’re so smart. I’ll be impressed when science! can do that.
Well, especially the idea that things don’t exist until they are observed. science is about observation, so how exactly do you observe non-observation? its unfalsifiable, and thus its not science but faith.
or at best unproven and unprovable hypothethesis. and there is nothing wrong with hypothesises (sp?), but then every wild idea gets called a theory like as if it has earned that name. mind you they are useful, because without them our sci fi would suck ass. I mean sorry, but i am willing to bet that as we go out into the universe we are going to discover it is far less interesting than anything we observed in the movie star wars or the movie or tv show stargate. And wouldn’t you know it, i bet alot less aliens speak english than i have been led to believe. In fact to believe our entertainment, an alien from Alpha Centari will usually speak better english than the average american. And even if they don’t, they will actually pick up our language within a matter of days (see: E.T.).
but back to the point, there has to be a reasonable chance that what they are saying is right before you call it a theory. and the idea that shrodenger’s cat was not alive nor dead until you looked in the box is about as likely to be true as the “theory” floating around 1900 or so that the moon was made out of cheese. Thank god it isn’t because then nuking it might cause a cheesalanche.
Every ‘particle’ in the universe is an observer. And nothing exists to it between observational events. Quantum mechanically, humans are nothing but very large, n-particle observer arrays not much more sophisticated than rocks. When was the last time you saw a rock bring something into existence by observing it?
I have absolutely no idea what’s going on here.
Is it possible for us to use Science! to establish that the moon doesn’t exist? The moon knows we’re inferior and pathetic (it’s right, of course), but I would quite like spiting it nonetheless. I’ve heard it has a fragile ego.
I say it’s quite time we put Scientists! to work!
Hang on Jimmy. Rocks are not sufficiently complex to be observers. I even have my doubts about most people qualifying as observers. Even Jimmy Carter struggled with that assignment.
Hey wait – are you Jimmy Carter?
Personally, I think God changes the rules from time to time. In other words, everything was Newtonian ’til Newton figured it out, so God threw so relativity in there. Then Big Al figger’d relativity out, so God stirred some quantum effects into the stew. Now we have these guys spending billions on a giant underground high-energy hulahoop, hoping to prove the existence of the Biggs Hoson without us getting hosed by an “accidental” black hole. Just stop it and fix me some nachos.
I think a quantum physicistist could do way more than a normal physicistist. At least a quantum more per hour. Not too shabby. On the other hand I worked with a physicistist who couldn’t even find the bathroom, so his ability to find a non-visible, Bible bashing particle is highly doubtful.
Did anyone here lose a Higgs boson? I found one but it didn’t have a collar.
Uh…wheres the football blog?
The controversy is that Quantum Physics! has reduced God to a theoretical subatomic particle. And why would God name himself Higgs Boson?
God does not play dice with the universe ever since the universe got caught with loaded dice.
Frank is right, I don’t want the Public School System teaching that Quantum Physics! is normal, and moral, when it’s not.. Does this make me Quantum Pysics!-phobic?
I can’t tell if Frank is totally joking or not because if he is, this isn’t one of his funnier pieces. I hope he is, though, because quantum uncertainty, as C.S. Lewis wrote about in “God in the Dock”, is actually a piece of evidence that supports the existence of God. Plus, microchips wouldn’t work if quantum theory was all nonsense, which would make it difficult to read Frank’s posts.
Scientists can’t get grants for confirming stuff they already know.
Like, “Hey! E really does equal MC squared! Cool! Pay me!”
So they keep stretching the boundaries, like those two magicians in the movie, The Prestige, until someone gets hurt or most of Europe gets sucked through a wormhole. Whatever.
Remember; in case a Big Budget Disaster Movie breaks out, try to avoid national monuments or famous buildings.
I’ve always wondered why Schroedinger’s cat itself doesn’t count as an observer. Judging from my cats reaction to the laser pointer, they’re pretty good at observing at least SOME things.
‘Quantum- _________’ just sounds cool.
Obama could pass just about all of his socialist agenda if he would call it ‘Quantum Health Care’, ‘Quantum Fiscal Collapse’, ‘Quantum Surrender’ .
See how intelligent, scholarly, and theoretical that sounds?
—
As for Quantum Physics, 2 rules apply:
1- Don’t sweat the small stuff
2- It’s all small stuff.
“God does not play dice with the universe ever since the universe got caught with loaded dice.” -Live Free Or Die
That is classical (physics) and very funny. Harvey would call for “high praise.”
And Rick, I might be Jimmy Carter on any given observation of me.
Don’t play God, He always wins.
(grumble,grumble grumble…) More o’ that durn satire stuff.
Here’s the deal Frank. It’s all about free will. Even if God plays dice with the universe, if the dice are purely bound by causation down to the quantum level, then there’s no such thing as a random die roll. God was reading one of Einstein’s papers for a laugh one day, and decided “Crap! He’s about figured it out! When this deterministic thing hits the fan it’s gonna clobber the whole ‘free will’ argument and mankind will return to its evil, wicked ways and blame everything on physics! I don’t wanna destroy the world AGAIN! I kinda like the Grand Canyon! Some of my best work. Besides I promised Noah, and he can be a pain in the neck at Bingo night.” So he thought about it and decided the best thing to do was foam things up at the quantum level so Einstein couldn’t foul up all his plans. Once he did that, he sent his latest prophet, Heisenberg, to go yank Einstein’s chain a little.
By the way, God loves quantum mechanics. But string theory just cracks him up.
I’ve always wondered how many of these professional students, er, scientists, get funding year after year to finance their pursuit of knowing the unknowable. “The Big Crunch”? A gazillion years from now, maybe? If they applied their fund-raising talents (and supposedly big brains) to the real world, we might just see some significant social progress aside from the techno-gadgets we’re bombarded with every day. “The Big Bang”? That’s like analyzing the gift you got on your 2nd birthday and spending the rest of your life explaining how it turned you into the person you are today. Of course, on someone else’s dime. Jabberwocky!
When I was in school we tried to wedgie as many science students as possible because we all knew they were really stupid…
So apparently Obama has played more golf in 9 months then Bush did in 3 years. Ill anxiously await Michael Moores fiery condemnation. In fairness to Obama, Bush didn’t have two young probably bratty daughters or Queen Michelle to share the house with.
Jimmy, you are light years ahead of Jimma’, you darlin’ man you.
Rick, Jimma’ Carter is not worthy of hoeing Jimmy’s garden, of course he (Carter) is so full of horse manure it might help next years yield.
Quantum physics: Gods revenge on people who think they’re smarter then He is. They’re just not smart enough to get the joke.
The quantum physicists have chosen something that they can get really excited about, they’ve invented a cool lexicography, it doesn’t have any effect on the population at large, and nobody can see what they are actually doing. Sounds a lot like the folks in my office planning their weekend.
I keep thinking back to Ptolemy, where the orbital equations got so wild and hairy that nobody could understand them, and they had to keep inventing
bull5h!tnew concepts just to make it all work. Then Copernicus came along and said “Hey, it’s all pretty easy if you put the sun at the center.” Centuries later they were still burning people over that. Not so different from our scientists today, I’m thinking (particularly the AGW boys). Can anyone spell “house of cards?”Apparently, the designation “scientist” is only awarded to liberal hacks looking for government grants these days anyway. So, there’s no reason to pay any attention to them. Kinsey the pedophile was considered a “scientist”. The morons who signed on to the global warming hoax were “scientists”. The guys who took out their personal vendetta against Pluto by renaming it a piece of ice were “scientists”. Meanwhile, Fred Thompson is not a scientist, and is almost always right.
Science. It Works, Bitches.
http://xkcd.com/54/
I still have absolutely no idea what’s going on here.
It blinded me.
It is said that if the Universe were ever completely understood it would instantly be replaced with something else even more confusing and inexplicable. Others say that this has already occurred.
wait a minute ! you mean the earth isn’t flat ?!? baby jesus lied to me !
but seriously, folks…i’ll never understand why the religiously inclined feel that ‘god’ is in any way diminished by our learning about the complexities of creation. seems like the ‘trippier’ things are, the more awesome ‘god’ is, no ?
#35 – el placko,
I believe in God (with a big ‘G’) and in science (with a small ‘s’).
After science answers all the easy questions like ‘How?’, ‘When?’, and ‘Where?’, the really hard questions like ‘Who?’, ‘Why?’ and ‘What next?’ will still remain.
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