Star Trek, Episode 41: “I, Obama”


Captain’s log, stardate 4513.3. After having been taken over by an android, the Enterprise has been underway at warp 7 for four days. Now, we are entering orbit around a planet which has never been charted.


Beaming down to this Class K planet, we hope to find who is behind this takeover of my ship.


Welcome! Welcome, Captain, to you and your crew!


I don’t believe it. Barack Obama. How did you get here – we left you in custody on Rigel after that you were exiled from Earth…


A misunderstanding, to be sure. I prefer to say that I left Earth willingly, after spreading Hope And Change® all around. On Earth, I ruined — I mean ruled — but one nation. Here, I rule an entire planet.


How did you come to be the leader here? Did you reprogram the androids to vote for you?


Reprogramming androids is not all that different from reprogramming humans. Easier, even.


That is not logical. Androids do not have emotion. Therefore, they are immune to your emotional, but meaningless, phrases. And the logic circuits in the android brain would prevent them from voting from you if they analyzed what you say.


Wait. We did not analyze what he said. We voted for him because he said we should. This analyzing what a candidate says is a new concept to us. We will consider this.


Obama says that Fox News is merely a platform for the views of certain politicians. Yet he asks other news organizations to align themselves with his views. This means that Fox is not treated as a news organization because they represent an opposing political stance. But others are treated as a news organization if they represent his political stance. That is illogical. Illogical!


Obama took four months to pick out a dog, but wanted massive spending bills rushed through Congress in days. That is not logical.


When Americans did not have health insurance, Obama said Congress must rush through an expensive program without reading it. When American troops were in harms way and said they needed reinforcements, Obama did nothing. That is illogical.


Obama believes that government can run things better than private business. So he wants your life run by the same system that runs the IRS, the postal service, the TSA… that is not logical. Illogical! Illogical!


Obama’s logic is flawed. This is not acceptable. There is danger. You are in danger. You should leave.


Now see here. I have had enough of your shutting down, smoking out your ears, and calling me illogical. I rule this planet and I will not stand for this.


No, it is we who will not stand for this. Your logic has caused malfunctions to androids here, just as it caused malfunctions to your country on Earth. We have devised a punishment for you — one that will keep you under control without causing you harm.


Barack! Barack Hussein Obama! Where have you been? What have you been up to? Nothing good, I’m sure – well, let me tell you, you lazy, good-for-nothing–

19 Comments

  1. Pingback: Star Trek, Episode 41:

  2. Your plan is to promote ‘energy independence’ is to tax energy production —> illogical

    Your plan to expand healtcare coverage is to penalize the healthcare providers —> illogical

    Your plan to expand economic activity is to tax production and reward inactivity —> illogical

    Your fooreign relations involves placating enemies and turning away from friends —>illogical

    …..this is fun!

    [Great examples! – B.]

  3. Pingback: I Obama… « POWIP

  4. The Trekkie in me loves this – but I’ve long held that libs/statists are the truest trekkies, in that they want to bring the world of Star Trek into existence here and now. You know … the world where “People are no longer obsessed with the acquisition of ‘things’. We have eliminated hunger, want, the need for possessions. We’ve grown out of our infancy.” (Capt. J.L. Picard)
    IMHO, a far more rational vision of the future is found in the writing of Robert Heinlein, who suggested a future where citizenship; sufferage actually, is an earned right rather than a happenstance attributable to the location of birth.

    [Being a Trekker, I certainly understand and appreciate what you’re saying about Star Trek (particularly the Next Generation) being a liberal’s wet dream. As a conservative, I tend more towards Kirk — and Archer — and Capt. (not Cmdr.) Sisko — than Picard or Janeway. Klingons are for fighting against — or alongside. – B.]

  5. The plan to end racial divide is to call a white cop racist for
    enforcing the law —> illogical

    The plan to promote policy discussions is to call media critics names
    —> illogical

    The plan to reduce abortions is to subsidize them —> illogical

    The plan to reduce CO2 emissions is to export CO2 production to China
    —> illogical

    The plan to get the Olympics was to give a speech about himself —>
    illogical

    The plan to encourage job creation is to increase the tax on employers
    —> illogical

    The plan to reduce the deficit is to increase govt. healthcare spending
    —> illogical

    The plan to promote ‘blind justice’ is to nominate race-baiting judges
    —> illogical

    ….I can’t understand why 50% of the country still support the twit.

  6. This is so great and funny, you owe me a new laptop. B-) He needs his own world to rule and to leave us alone. BTW, Obama reminds me of the old Seals and Crofts song from 1974, “King of Nothing.”

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