Random Thoughts

If you asked me what I liked least about liberals, it would probably be the fascism.

Pearl Harbor started the policy that if you attack America, we destroy you and one other country of our choosing.

Why do liberals need federal money for abortion? Can’t they just start a “Stop the Babies!” charity? “Right now there are babies waiting to be born and ruin people’s lives. We can stop that. With your help.” See, you can voluntarily spend you money on others. It’s called charity. I’m not sure who came up with it.

To show their solidarity, the Copenhagen attendees should all wear pointy hats with the words “the science is settled” on them.

I get confused sometimes. I once rolled up the dog to whack the newspaper. It was the New York Times, of course.

If I ever got a Nobel Peace Prize, first thing I’d do is turn it into a weapon.

The police report said curiosity killed the cat, but it looked to me more like it was a shotgun.

I spent all that time watching Sesame Street learning to count and I haven’t used those skills since.

11 Comments

  1. I spent all that time watching Sesame Street learning to count and I haven’t used those skills since.

    You have a bright future in management, or perhaps human resources or marketing. The ideal job, of course, would be vice-president of marketing, or vice-president of human resources.

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