The University of Mississippi — Ole Miss — is going to have a new mascot. And, the students voted on whether or not the students should have a say in the mascot (tip: Paul Mitchell). Yes, they voted on whether to vote. Now, I’ll admit that I’ve attended meetings to schedule meetings, but I have never voted on voting. I need to think about that.
Anyway, Ole Miss has said goodbye to Colonel Rebel. Because he’s racist. I mean, look at him…
So, who should replace Colonel Rebel? The leading candidate is Admiral Ackbar. Yes, the character from Star Wars
But, George Lucas will never agree. So, what’s Ole Miss to do?
I have some ideas.
Burl Ives would be a good choice…
They’d replace the “From Dixie With Love” as the fight song with “Jimmy Crack Corn.”
Another idea would be Harland Sanders, a successful southern businessman…
They could even pass out fried chicken at the games. Fried chicken isn’t racist, is it?
If southern characters are eliminated — because of the reminder that Ole Miss is actually in Mississippi — there is a character from up north that might work. I’m thinking about Sam The Snowman from
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
They could sing “Holly Jolly Christmas” at games. Or “We’re A Couple Of Misfits.”
However, there is another possibility. What about an historical character that would be closely related to those that decided to get rid of Colonel Rebel to begin with. Who? Why, Leon Trotsky
Any of these would be suitable candidates for the job of mascot at Ole Miss. Unless you have another idea?
Foghorn Leghorn?
That Colonel of theirs doesn’t look like any kind of rebel to me. He needs a motorcycle.
How about some Mississippi natives, like Shelby Foote or Jerry Clower? Clower lacks the beard, but he is still a good candidate.
[Um, Clower went to Mississippi State. He’d be a great spokesman for the state of Mississippi, though … if he wasn’t dead. – B]
How about the characters from the movie Squirm? Or maybe that was Georgia.
By the way, Basil, you ever encountered any flesh eating worms in your neck of the woods?
[Not since Cynthia McKinney moved out west. – B]
Admiral would be a step up from Colonel, and in that red hat, Ackbar bears a resemblance to Colonel Reb.
But since another male military leader would be sexist and insensitive, perhaps this famous Southern woman would be a good mascot.
Not. … … …
I got it!!
There is a famous Southern rebel Colonel already on more T-shirts
in Oxford,MS than Colonel Reb is. This guy.
I’m confused. Can’t have any ‘Native Americans’ as team mascots because using something as a mascot is considered demeaning to the target. So Ol’ Miss can’t have their mascot because? So the usual suspects are telling us that demeaning old white southern confederate holdouts is politically incorrect. For what reason? My head hurts. Ok, if the mascot were a full blown Klansman it might offend ex Kleagle and current Senator Byrd or something but this mascot has been around for how long without offending anyone?
I think the mascot should be the CARPETBAGGERS. These students that voted are not the ones that support this school with money. I bet the majority is not paying tuition. I have give this school money since 1959, but no more. no more season football tickets, zilt. As far as i’m concerned there is no more Ole Miss. Just call it Univeristy of Coontang
They voted on whether or not to vote? Was this after they had a meeting to decide whether or not to have a meeting to decide whether to vote? Maybe they took a vote on whether or not to take a vote to decide whether to have a meeting to take a vote on whether or not to vote on if students could help choose the mascot. What companies hire these morons when they graduate?
Catfish seems like a natural to me.
How about “Little Black Sambo”? or the hero of Harriet Beacher Stowe’s novel “Uncle Tom”? We certainly don’t want “Simon Lagree”
Son of Bob: Love your post. Love it!
How about no mascot because it obvious the any mascot would be offensive but I have one the will work how about the Manning family crest that way no one can figure what the hell it is and when they finally figure it out the cant complain.
Sam the snowman is just a snowball ripoff of Burl Ives. He’d melt in thr south. Plus neither sing rap. Something not offense, not politically incorrect, something to please all those disagree with the current mascot. Nothing violent, mean, or scary. I know !! The Ole’ Miss Unicorns !!!11!!!1 Go “corns Go !!!
The Wizard of Oz
Uncle Ben
Swamp Thing
I’m a resident of Mississippi, and while I attend the obviously much better school (Mississippi State University), I’ve taken an interest in the various goings-on at Ole Miss in the past few years.
There has been much wailing and gnashing of teeth over Colonel Reb, the Confederate Flag, the playing of Dixie, and anything else that attaches a Southern image to the University of Mississippi. The thing that saddens me the most is that the students and leadership at Ole Miss have been more than willing to just dump their heritage for the sake of political correctness. I’ve told my Ole Miss friends more than once that they need to grow a spine and stand up for this, but they’re more worried about “image” than anything else.
Imbeciles. They’re letting the Speech Police win, little by little. I’ve heard various ideas floated about what to use as a mascot, and even heard that they were thinking of changing the university’s moniker from the “Ole Miss Rebels” to the “University of Mississippi Flood.”
At this, I just shake my head and laugh. As much as I despise Ole Miss (and believe me, I do), I don’t wanna see them bow to the pressure of political correctness. It’s sad, really.
Oh, and by the way, MORE COWBELL!!!
Dick Cheney holding a shotgun. (Hey, I know he’s not from Miss., but it would good.)
Maybe Stonewall Jackson? Yeah, he was from Virginia, but there’s no need to tell anybody. Or perhaps Senator Robert Byrd; we don’t have to tell anybody that he’s from West Virginia.
I do like the ideas of Foghorn Leghorn or a catfish.
+1 for Son of Bob, and most likely the federal gov. hires them.
voting to vote? that’s nothing. i once chaired a meeting where we voted on how many days are in the week. i held out for seven, eventually winning.
ole miss mascot? eli manning
How about the Ole Miss Jumping Billy Joe McAllisters?
Burl Ives or Sam the Snowman from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Dude, Burl Ives was the one doing the voice of Sam the Snowman!
[WRONG! Burl Ives is a character in a Tennessee Williams play. Sam the Snowman is real; I saw him on TV. Get your facts straight! – B]
Sorry, you can’t have Leon Trotsky as a mascot!! He’s already ours…we claimed him and all he stands for…years ago! If you persist in this matter we must warn you…we have an army of fully trained left wing lawyers standing by to take you to court and keep you there for years…The Student Body, University of California at Berkley, Left Coast.
They can’t have Burl Ives. He belongs to my alma mater, Eastern Illinois University, the school he attended though never did finish college.
Personally, I think they should dump Col. Rebel not because he’s racist, but because he is a member of the losing side. He sets a bad precedent.
For his replacement, I would humbly submit myself, as I am the goofiest white-boy I know. Failing that, I think they should go with Mrs. Butterworth.
Hey! The southern panhandel of Mississippi was apart of old west Florida. I’m voting to honor the early settlers of the area, the Florida “Crackers”. Let’s see if the dirty hippies will whine how this cheepens the rich history of the “Crackers”.
How ’bout a compromise…what if we let you have Keith Olberman as a mascot? His politics are about the same as Leon Trotsky’s…true, Keith doesn’t have a goatee and a pair of round hippie glasses, but on the plus side he’s alive…sort of…and has his own TV show. Where as Leon isn’t alive and never had his own TV show…how ’bout it? We’ll give up any claims to Keith if you agree….The Student Body, University of California at Berkley, Left Coast.
Exalted Cyclopses?